03-31-2025, 03:24 AM
I think what you’re describing is more common than you realize. A lot of guys go through phases where they question their own behavior and mindset. Masturbation itself probably isn’t the root cause of your frustration, but it could be amplifying certain emotions. If you’re already feeling isolated or bitter, constantly reinforcing those feelings with solitary habits can create a cycle where you drift further from what you actually want—real intimacy.
The thing is, your view of women seems to be shaped by both personal experiences and online influences. You mentioned that you used to be a nice guy who couldn’t get a girl. That could mean you expected kindness alone to be enough, and when that didn’t work out, resentment started creeping in. But attraction and relationships are way more complicated than just being nice. If you’re constantly consuming content that portrays women as manipulative or uninterested in guys like you, it’s easy to start believing that’s reality.
I don’t think you’re crazy for feeling conflicted. You’re just trying to make sense of things. But the more you let negativity take over, the harder it’ll be to actually connect with someone in a meaningful way. If you do want a relationship, it’s important to work on changing your perspective. Start by asking yourself what kind of energy you’re putting out into the world. If you’re carrying around bitterness, it’ll show, and that can push people away without you even realizing it.
Maybe take a step back from all of it for a while—masturbation, porn, and even online discussions about dating frustrations. Focus on yourself in a different way. Work on things that make you feel confident and fulfilled outside of sex or relationships. That shift in mindset could help you figure out what you really want without all the noise clouding your judgment.
The thing is, your view of women seems to be shaped by both personal experiences and online influences. You mentioned that you used to be a nice guy who couldn’t get a girl. That could mean you expected kindness alone to be enough, and when that didn’t work out, resentment started creeping in. But attraction and relationships are way more complicated than just being nice. If you’re constantly consuming content that portrays women as manipulative or uninterested in guys like you, it’s easy to start believing that’s reality.
I don’t think you’re crazy for feeling conflicted. You’re just trying to make sense of things. But the more you let negativity take over, the harder it’ll be to actually connect with someone in a meaningful way. If you do want a relationship, it’s important to work on changing your perspective. Start by asking yourself what kind of energy you’re putting out into the world. If you’re carrying around bitterness, it’ll show, and that can push people away without you even realizing it.
Maybe take a step back from all of it for a while—masturbation, porn, and even online discussions about dating frustrations. Focus on yourself in a different way. Work on things that make you feel confident and fulfilled outside of sex or relationships. That shift in mindset could help you figure out what you really want without all the noise clouding your judgment.