12-01-2024, 08:01 AM
I can totally relate to what you’re saying. My ex-girlfriend was the same way—penetration alone just didn’t do it for her. I learned over time that for many women, clitoral stimulation is the primary way they achieve orgasm. It’s not a reflection on you or your performance; it’s just how their bodies work. Honestly, once I accepted that and started incorporating clitoral stimulation during sex, things got so much better for both of us.
You mentioned that she prefers shorter periods of thrusting. I’ve been there, too. It took me a while to understand that my idea of “what makes great sex” wasn’t necessarily her idea. What really helped was trying out different positions that allowed me to stimulate her clit during penetration, like the missionary position but with my hand free or even using a small vibrator. That way, we found a rhythm that worked for both of us.
Another thing I learned was not to take it personally when she asked for adjustments. It’s easy to feel like you’re not good enough, but really, it’s about compatibility and teamwork. If you’re open to experimenting and listening, you’ll discover what works best together. Also, don’t underestimate the importance of foreplay—sometimes building up the anticipation makes the whole experience more enjoyable for both partners.
Finally, communication is everything. If you haven’t already, sit down and have an honest conversation about what you both want in bed. It might feel awkward at first, but it’s worth it. You’d be surprised how much you can learn about your partner’s desires when you open up and talk about it.
You mentioned that she prefers shorter periods of thrusting. I’ve been there, too. It took me a while to understand that my idea of “what makes great sex” wasn’t necessarily her idea. What really helped was trying out different positions that allowed me to stimulate her clit during penetration, like the missionary position but with my hand free or even using a small vibrator. That way, we found a rhythm that worked for both of us.
Another thing I learned was not to take it personally when she asked for adjustments. It’s easy to feel like you’re not good enough, but really, it’s about compatibility and teamwork. If you’re open to experimenting and listening, you’ll discover what works best together. Also, don’t underestimate the importance of foreplay—sometimes building up the anticipation makes the whole experience more enjoyable for both partners.
Finally, communication is everything. If you haven’t already, sit down and have an honest conversation about what you both want in bed. It might feel awkward at first, but it’s worth it. You’d be surprised how much you can learn about your partner’s desires when you open up and talk about it.