11-30-2024, 07:12 PM
I’ve been exactly where you are. For a long time, I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t finish during sex, but it was all about mental blocks. I could masturbate with no issues, but once someone else was involved, everything just froze up. Over time, I learned that delayed ejaculation is often more psychological than physical. I had to learn to relax and let go of all the performance anxiety.
It might help to consider talking to a professional about how you’re feeling, not just about sex, but the emotional and psychological side too. Therapy helped me manage my stress and anxiety. I learned that the fear of failure and the anxiety of not being “enough” often created this cycle where I couldn’t perform. Talking to a therapist gave me strategies to cope with these issues and reframe my thoughts around intimacy.
As for your relationship, it sounds like there’s a lot of fear about bringing up difficult topics. I get that too, but sometimes the best way to create intimacy is through honesty. Your girlfriend might surprise you in how understanding she is. It’s important to find a balance between being vulnerable and communicating your needs. You don’t need to go all in right away, but even a small step in sharing can lead to more comfort and connection.
I also think you should keep exploring ways to be comfortable with your body and your desires. Don’t feel pressured to follow any “rules” about sex. Everyone has different experiences, and finding what works for you is the goal, not necessarily meeting someone else’s expectations.
It might help to consider talking to a professional about how you’re feeling, not just about sex, but the emotional and psychological side too. Therapy helped me manage my stress and anxiety. I learned that the fear of failure and the anxiety of not being “enough” often created this cycle where I couldn’t perform. Talking to a therapist gave me strategies to cope with these issues and reframe my thoughts around intimacy.
As for your relationship, it sounds like there’s a lot of fear about bringing up difficult topics. I get that too, but sometimes the best way to create intimacy is through honesty. Your girlfriend might surprise you in how understanding she is. It’s important to find a balance between being vulnerable and communicating your needs. You don’t need to go all in right away, but even a small step in sharing can lead to more comfort and connection.
I also think you should keep exploring ways to be comfortable with your body and your desires. Don’t feel pressured to follow any “rules” about sex. Everyone has different experiences, and finding what works for you is the goal, not necessarily meeting someone else’s expectations.