11-30-2024, 07:11 PM
Hey man, I feel for you. I’ve gone through similar struggles, and it’s tough. It’s weird how you can perform just fine when alone, but then it’s like your body just shuts down when you’re with someone else. For me, I found that part of the issue was related to how I viewed sex—like a performance. When I started to think of it less as a “test” and more as a mutual experience, it took off a lot of pressure.
Have you tried experimenting with different types of intimacy outside of just sex? Sometimes, focusing on other ways of being intimate—like cuddling or even just exploring each other’s bodies slowly without rushing—can help take the edge off. For me, building that comfort and trust first made a huge difference. You might even want to talk about this with your girlfriend in a non-pressuring way. Let her know that it's not about her, but more about your experience and how to work through it together. It can relieve a lot of pressure on both sides.
As for the anxiety, I totally understand that too. Growing up in a home where there was a lot of tension and conflict can leave you avoiding tough conversations. But the truth is, these kinds of discussions can actually strengthen your relationship if done thoughtfully. Maybe try to frame it like you’re opening up to improve things together, rather than as a confrontation.
And I’d suggest taking some time to explore your feelings about pregnancy. The anxiety around it can definitely affect performance too. Maybe finding some peace of mind around contraception methods, or even talking to a professional about it, could help.
Have you tried experimenting with different types of intimacy outside of just sex? Sometimes, focusing on other ways of being intimate—like cuddling or even just exploring each other’s bodies slowly without rushing—can help take the edge off. For me, building that comfort and trust first made a huge difference. You might even want to talk about this with your girlfriend in a non-pressuring way. Let her know that it's not about her, but more about your experience and how to work through it together. It can relieve a lot of pressure on both sides.
As for the anxiety, I totally understand that too. Growing up in a home where there was a lot of tension and conflict can leave you avoiding tough conversations. But the truth is, these kinds of discussions can actually strengthen your relationship if done thoughtfully. Maybe try to frame it like you’re opening up to improve things together, rather than as a confrontation.
And I’d suggest taking some time to explore your feelings about pregnancy. The anxiety around it can definitely affect performance too. Maybe finding some peace of mind around contraception methods, or even talking to a professional about it, could help.