11-30-2024, 07:11 PM
Hey man, I can definitely relate to what you’re going through. I’ve had similar experiences where I can orgasm with masturbation, but as soon as I'm in bed with someone else, it just doesn’t happen. It’s frustrating, especially because it makes me feel like I’m not performing at my best. I’ve learned that anxiety and stress can play a huge role in this. It’s not just the physical aspect but the mental side that really affects it too. The pressure of trying to please someone or being afraid of not finishing often makes it worse.
I also struggled with self-diagnosis at first, thinking it was a physical issue. But after talking to a professional, I realized a lot of it stemmed from performance anxiety. I had to retrain my mind to focus less on the end goal (orgasm) and more on just enjoying the experience itself. It sounds simple, but it can really shift your perspective. Try to relax and take the pressure off—maybe experiment with different types of intimacy without the focus on sex itself.
As for the relationship part, if you haven’t yet, I’d suggest having an open conversation with your girlfriend. I understand the fear of confrontation—it’s something I personally struggle with too—but it can actually help in the long run. She might be more understanding than you think. You don’t have to go into everything right away, but sharing your concerns can make things less awkward. Trust me, it could be a game changer.
Lastly, I would also recommend seeing a therapist, even just to work through the anxiety you mentioned. I did it, and it really helped me not only with sex but with overall confidence in relationships. Sometimes it’s just about taking small steps, but those can lead to big improvements.
I also struggled with self-diagnosis at first, thinking it was a physical issue. But after talking to a professional, I realized a lot of it stemmed from performance anxiety. I had to retrain my mind to focus less on the end goal (orgasm) and more on just enjoying the experience itself. It sounds simple, but it can really shift your perspective. Try to relax and take the pressure off—maybe experiment with different types of intimacy without the focus on sex itself.
As for the relationship part, if you haven’t yet, I’d suggest having an open conversation with your girlfriend. I understand the fear of confrontation—it’s something I personally struggle with too—but it can actually help in the long run. She might be more understanding than you think. You don’t have to go into everything right away, but sharing your concerns can make things less awkward. Trust me, it could be a game changer.
Lastly, I would also recommend seeing a therapist, even just to work through the anxiety you mentioned. I did it, and it really helped me not only with sex but with overall confidence in relationships. Sometimes it’s just about taking small steps, but those can lead to big improvements.