Ladies!! I can't come during sex- whats that about?

[jonny09256]

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I’ve been struggling with something in my sex life, and I’m hoping I’m not alone in this. I don’t have orgasms during penetration, and it’s starting to weigh on me. Don’t get me wrong—I can orgasm from clitoral stimulation, and G-spot stimulation really intensifies it, which is amazing. There was one time I think I might have had an orgasm from deep penetration, but that only happened after a clitoral orgasm, and it hasn’t happened again since. During penetration, it feels really good, but I just can’t seem to cross that final threshold.

I’ve been wondering if it has something to do with my mindset during sex. I notice that I can get a little tense or overly thoughtful when we’re in the moment. Instead of completely letting go, my brain tends to stay active, analyzing what’s happening or worrying about whether I’m doing enough to please my boyfriend. I know I shouldn’t be so in my head, but it’s easier said than done. The tension might be preventing me from fully relaxing and experiencing everything my body is capable of.

The frustrating part is that my boyfriend is incredible. He knows exactly how to move, what I like, and how to make me feel good. And I do my best to reciprocate, giving as much as I can in return. It’s not that I don’t enjoy sex—I do, a lot—but not being able to orgasm during penetration makes me feel like I’m falling short somehow. I can’t help but wonder if he notices or if he’s secretly disappointed, even though he’s never said or done anything to make me think that.

Sometimes, I feel like such a loser for not being able to get there, even though I know it’s not uncommon. I’ve read that many women struggle to orgasm from penetration alone, and I try to remind myself that there’s nothing “wrong” with me. But knowing that doesn’t completely erase the feelings of inadequacy. I want to be able to fully enjoy those moments with my boyfriend without feeling like I’m missing out on something or letting him down.

I’ve been considering ways to work on this, like focusing more on my breathing or trying to quiet my mind during sex. Maybe experimenting with new positions or incorporating more clitoral stimulation into penetration could help bridge the gap. I’ve even thought about talking openly with my boyfriend about it, but I’m nervous about how to bring it up without making it awkward or putting pressure on him—or myself. I don’t want this to become a bigger issue than it already feels like in my head.

So, I’m curious—does anyone else experience this? If you’ve been in a similar situation, how did you handle it? Are there specific techniques, mindset shifts, or approaches that worked for you? I’d love to hear any advice or personal experiences you’re willing to share. I just want to feel more confident and connected during sex, and any guidance would mean the world to me.

[amravat123]

Hey, you’re definitely not alone in this! It’s pretty common for women to have difficulty orgasming from penetration alone, and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. I’ve had similar experiences where penetration just didn’t get me over the edge, even if everything else felt great. It sounds like your partner is doing everything right, and you’re lucky to have someone who’s so attentive. But sometimes, the mental aspect really plays a huge role. I found that focusing too much on my performance or worrying if I’m satisfying my partner only made things worse.

For me, taking the pressure off was key. I started to shift my focus away from the idea of needing to orgasm and instead concentrated on the sensations and pleasure I was experiencing. Deep breathing helped me relax and just let go of those thoughts in my head. I also started talking more openly with my boyfriend about what felt good and what didn’t, which removed a lot of the tension for me.

I also had a similar experience where I could orgasm from clitoral stimulation, but that was often the key for me during penetration too. Exploring positions that allow for better clitoral access during sex really worked for me. Sometimes, a little extra manual or oral stimulation while in certain positions helped me reach that sweet spot.

At the end of the day, sex isn’t a race. You don’t have to reach the finish line every time. The important thing is that you’re both enjoying the experience, and with time and communication, things will get even better. You’re definitely not falling short!

[piciossa]

I totally get what you’re going through. For a long time, I thought something was wrong with me because I couldn’t orgasm from penetration either. It wasn’t until I really started thinking about it that I realized it had a lot to do with my own mindset. I’d get so wrapped up in trying to "perform" that I couldn’t relax enough to enjoy the moment. You mentioned getting tense, and I totally relate to that. Once I started focusing less on the goal of orgasm and more on just being in the moment, things started to shift.

Talking to my partner was a huge game-changer too. At first, I was worried that he’d be disappointed, but it actually brought us closer. We found ways to experiment together, and it became more about connecting rather than trying to achieve something. I also started exploring different ways to stimulate myself while we were having sex, like adding more G-spot or clitoral stimulation, which made a huge difference.

As for penetration itself, I found that positions where I could control the depth or angle of penetration helped me get closer to that orgasmic feeling. I also started experimenting with toys during sex, and that was a complete game-changer. It’s not cheating or anything—it just added an extra layer of stimulation.

Remember that every person’s body is different, and there’s no "right" way to experience orgasm. It’s all about finding what works for you, and it sounds like you’re on the right track by wanting to explore and communicate. You’ve got this!

[deigo123]

Hey, I just wanted to say that it’s really brave of you to open up about this. I can totally relate to what you’re describing. For a while, I thought I was broken because I could never orgasm during penetration, but then I learned that it's just a lot more common than people talk about. It’s so easy to get in your head about it, especially when you’re with a partner who’s doing everything right. But sometimes, your body just needs a little more time or different stimulation.

I’ve found that one of the biggest things that helped me was focusing on the connection rather than the end result. It sounds cheesy, but really letting go of the "I need to orgasm" mindset made all the difference for me. I also started incorporating more communication into my sex life. We talk about what feels good, what doesn’t, and how we can make things better. That open dialogue took away the pressure for both of us.

Something else that worked was trying to switch up positions. Some positions were just better at hitting certain spots that led to more intense pleasure, even if it didn’t immediately lead to orgasm. I also think the mental aspect is huge. Mindfulness, like focusing on your breathing and being present, can make a world of difference.

Finally, just know you’re not alone. A lot of people struggle with this, and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you or your relationship. It’s all about finding what works for you, and I’m sure you’ll get there!

[hanar123]

I’ve been in the same boat for a while, and it’s honestly such a relief to know that other women feel the same way. I used to get so frustrated because my partner was amazing, and I knew he wanted to make me feel good, but I just couldn’t reach that orgasmic peak from penetration alone. I’ve learned that it’s not necessarily a physical problem but more of a mental block for me. I would get too focused on whether or not I was "doing it right" or whether he was enjoying himself, and that totally prevented me from relaxing and feeling good.

What helped was embracing the idea that I don’t need to have an orgasm every time to have a fulfilling sexual experience. I started experimenting with different ways to stimulate myself while we were having sex, whether it was incorporating clitoral or G-spot play. Sometimes, I would just ask for more direct stimulation during sex, and that made all the difference.

Another thing I did was get more comfortable talking to my partner about my needs. It was awkward at first, but once I realized he wasn’t going to be disappointed or upset, it was such a relief. Open communication has really deepened our connection and made the experience much more enjoyable.

Finally, it’s important to remember that everyone’s body is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. What matters most is that you’re both communicating and finding what works for you. Don’t let the pressure of needing to orgasm take away from the pleasure of the moment.

[antonio123]

I feel you, and I just want to say that you’re definitely not the only one going through this. For years, I thought I wasn’t having "real" sex if I didn’t orgasm from penetration, but then I learned that a lot of women experience this. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you or that you’re not enjoying the sex. Sometimes, it’s all about the right mental and physical combination.

One thing that really helped me was taking the pressure off myself. I noticed I couldn’t orgasm when I was too focused on the idea that I should be orgasming. It sounds like you might be experiencing something similar. Once I stopped thinking about the orgasm itself and just started focusing on how good everything felt in the moment, it helped me relax and enjoy the experience more fully. And like you mentioned, incorporating more clitoral or G-spot stimulation during penetration definitely made things more intense for me.

Another thing that worked was changing positions. I found that certain angles made all the difference. I could get more direct clitoral stimulation or even get deeper penetration, depending on how we positioned ourselves. Plus, sometimes just changing things up made the whole experience feel fresh and exciting again.

Lastly, don’t be too hard on yourself. Sexual experiences vary from person to person, and there’s no "right" way to do it. The most important thing is that you feel connected to your partner and that you’re both communicating openly about what works and what doesn’t. You’re doing great, and I’m sure you’ll find what works for you!