Love to give ten times as much as to receive sexually

[Babatunde]

I'm unable to come up with a compromise with my partner over this. I love, love, love to GIVE. It makes me feel like a LOVER, a chivalrous and romantic knight in shining armor. My girlfriend loves it. I just don't have anywhere near the same 'zeal' for receiving, and I think it hurts her feelings. I don't ejaculate easily, and it appears that after a few minutes, her efforts are no longer enjoyable, but she labors, and feels obligated.


Navigating the complexities of a romantic relationship often means uncovering personal preferences and boundaries that don’t always align seamlessly. For me, the act of giving is not just a gesture; it’s a reflection of my identity and my way of expressing love. It’s deeply fulfilling to see my partner smile, to feel her joy when I put her needs first. However, this same passion for giving has unintentionally created a disparity in our dynamic, particularly when it comes to receiving. My lack of enthusiasm for being on the receiving end seems to make her question her worth in the relationship, which is the last thing I want.


The struggle lies in finding a balance between my natural inclinations and her desire to express love in her own way. She thrives on the emotional connection that comes from giving, yet I worry her efforts to please me might feel futile or even burdensome when I fail to reciprocate the same enthusiasm. It’s not that I don’t appreciate her; I adore her more than words can describe. But my physical response—or lack thereof—adds to her frustration, and I sense the unspoken tension it creates between us.


I can’t help but wonder if anyone else has faced a similar challenge and found a way to bridge the gap. Is it possible to remain a giver without diminishing your partner’s confidence and self-esteem? For me, the stakes are high; I’m deeply in love, and I can’t bear the thought of hurting her, even unintentionally. Perhaps the answer lies in open communication, where we both feel safe to share our vulnerabilities and craft a compromise that celebrates our individual love languages while strengthening our bond.

[piciossa]

Man, I totally understand where you're coming from. The desire to give and make your partner feel loved and cherished is such an admirable quality. There’s something so satisfying about seeing them happy, knowing you’ve put their needs first. But, as you’ve pointed out, when the giving becomes so one-sided, it can create a little tension, and sometimes it’s hard to find that balance. I think what you’re describing is a really common struggle in relationships, especially when one person thrives on giving while the other enjoys receiving.

I’ve been in a similar situation myself, where I found myself more focused on pleasing my partner than receiving pleasure. At first, I thought it was just me being selfless, but I eventually realized it wasn’t as simple as that. My partner’s reactions began to make me feel guilty, like I wasn’t giving her the validation she needed. It really made me reflect on how important it is to create a balance where both people feel equally appreciated and validated, not just in actions, but emotionally.

Have you had a chance to really talk openly about this with your girlfriend? I know it can be a tough conversation to start, but communication is key. Maybe she doesn’t realize that your lack of enthusiasm for receiving isn’t a reflection of your feelings for her but more of a personal preference or a physical challenge you're working through. Sharing your struggles and explaining where you’re coming from could take some pressure off her. It might help her see that it's not about not appreciating her, but about finding a middle ground where both of you feel fulfilled.

It’s not always easy to balance these things, but I believe with patience and understanding, you can work through this. The fact that you care about her feelings and want to make it work shows how much you value the relationship. It might take time, but finding a compromise can strengthen your connection in the long run.

[amravat123]

I can totally relate to your struggle, man. For some of us, being a giver is second nature, and it feels amazing to please our partner. But I also understand that the other side of the equation—receiving—can feel a little more complicated, whether it’s because of physical reasons or just personal preference. I’ve been in a situation where my partner was very much into giving, but I had trouble matching that enthusiasm on the receiving end. At first, it was hard to communicate it without making her feel inadequate or like she wasn’t doing enough, but once we opened up about it, things started to improve.

One thing I learned is that it’s not about the effort or the action itself, but more about the emotional connection that happens during intimacy. Sometimes, just reassuring your partner that their efforts are seen and appreciated can go a long way. You don’t always have to reciprocate in the exact same way for them to feel validated. For example, even though I wasn’t always in the mood to receive as much as my partner wanted, I made sure to express how much I appreciated her care and attention. This helped create a sense of emotional reciprocity that wasn’t necessarily physical but still deeply fulfilling.

Maybe it’s worth focusing on the emotional aspect of the giving and receiving dynamic rather than the physical one. You don’t have to be 100% enthusiastic about receiving to make her feel good about her efforts. Instead, find ways to show her that you appreciate her beyond just the physical—compliment her, focus on her emotional needs, or find other ways to make her feel special. It could take the pressure off both of you.

In the end, what matters most is that both partners feel valued, and that’s something you can achieve by finding creative solutions together. It might take some experimentation and a lot of honest conversations, but it’s all worth it for the health of your relationship.

[deigo123]

I’ve been in a similar situation, and it’s tough. I’m also someone who loves to give, especially when it comes to making my partner feel special. I think there’s a lot of beauty in being that selfless lover who wants to see their partner happy. However, it’s easy to forget that a healthy sexual relationship isn’t just about giving—it’s about sharing that experience and enjoying each other’s company. I think the key here is to find a balance where both people feel seen and valued, not just in the giving sense but in the receiving as well.

For me, the issue wasn’t just physical but psychological. I had a hard time letting go of control when it came to receiving, so I unintentionally made my partner feel like her efforts were wasted. What helped us was actually having an open and honest conversation about how we both felt. She explained that she wanted to feel like I was just as invested in pleasing her as she was in pleasing me. I realized that being a giver didn’t mean I had to neglect my own needs or make her feel like her efforts were unappreciated.

One thing that really helped was focusing on building up the emotional aspect of our connection. I started to make more of an effort to show appreciation for everything she did, not just in bed but in other aspects of the relationship. I also tried to be more present and emotionally available during intimate moments. It wasn’t about just receiving pleasure, but about sharing the experience, which helped us both feel more connected.

Have you talked to her about how you’re feeling? It sounds like you really care about her, and I think if you’re able to open up about your personal struggles—like your lack of enthusiasm for receiving—it might help her understand where you’re coming from. With time, I believe you can find a way to meet halfway.

[hanar123]

Man, I hear you loud and clear. It’s so easy to fall into the habit of giving, especially when it brings you that sense of fulfillment and joy in making your partner happy. But sometimes, when you’re not as into receiving, it can create this weird imbalance that’s hard to navigate. I’ve been there, and I know how frustrating it can be when your partner wants to please you but you can’t reciprocate in the same way. It’s not that you don’t appreciate them—it’s just that your natural inclinations don’t align in the moment.

In my experience, communication is everything. If your girlfriend feels like she’s not getting the same level of enthusiasm from you when it comes to receiving, it could start to erode her confidence, as you said. But I also think it’s important to acknowledge that not all love languages are the same. Some people feel most loved when they give, others when they receive. The key is learning how to honor each other’s preferences and find that balance.

I suggest having an open conversation with her about how you both experience intimacy. If she loves to give, maybe there’s a way you can help her feel more appreciated even if you’re not as enthusiastic about receiving. For example, if she’s performing oral sex on you and you’re not as into it, you can still show appreciation through verbal affirmations or small gestures of gratitude. This way, she knows her efforts aren’t going unnoticed, and it might ease the tension.

Ultimately, it’s about creating a safe space where both of you can express your desires and vulnerabilities without judgment. Maybe you can find other ways to connect emotionally that complement your giving nature without the pressure of physical reciprocity.

[antonio123]

I really appreciate your openness about this—it’s a difficult topic for many people. I think what you’re describing is a real challenge, especially when there’s such a strong desire to make your partner feel loved and cherished. It’s admirable that you’re so focused on giving, but I can also see how the lack of enthusiasm for receiving can create some underlying tension. I’ve definitely been on both sides of this, and I think the key is recognizing that both giving and receiving are important parts of a balanced, healthy relationship.

What’s been helpful for me is realizing that receiving doesn’t just mean physically receiving pleasure—it’s also about emotional connection. Sometimes, even if I’m not physically as responsive as my partner might want, I still try to express my appreciation in other ways. Complimenting her, making her feel heard, and showing affection in non-sexual ways has gone a long way in creating a more balanced dynamic.

I think this could be a great opportunity to have a deep, vulnerable conversation with your girlfriend about how both of you express and receive love. It sounds like you’re doing everything you can to make her feel loved, but maybe she’s just not feeling as emotionally connected because of the imbalance in receiving. If you can reassure her that you deeply appreciate her efforts, and maybe find other ways to show it, that could help ease the tension.

It might also help to explore some physical or emotional activities together that make you more comfortable with receiving, even if it’s not in the traditional sense. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, but with patience and understanding, I think you’ll be able to bridge that gap and make sure both of you feel loved and valued.