Whatever Is Sex To You.

[johnson13]

Also, on the subject of sex and the rights of people to a sexual outlet. You know, masturbation is always a good way of relieving sexual tension, whether you are a man or a woman. And it can be your sex life too. I'm serious. It may be all you need. Why not? If that is all you have access to. Or even all that you want.

Back in the 80's, there was this story. A doctor in the Netherlands asked a young teenage girl if she was sexually active. She said yes. He said, well who's your boyfriend then. She said I don't have a boyfriend. I just masturbate. The point being that was enough for her. I think it all depends of definition too. But yours, not just society's. You know Bill Clinton once said, about how people define things, sex and other things, "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is." (I voted both times for President Clinton BTW.)

I was also going to say about the Netherlands, in the 1980's. In the US, the media made them seem like the bastion of sexual openness and freedom. And while it's true, they had legalized prostitution there then. (Actually they had TOLERATED prostitution, which is something different.) But they weren't really anymore open-minded, at least as a society. John Kelly was interviewing a man on local Kelly & Company. He had been to the Netherlands recently. And he said the people there didn't seem anymore open-minded on average than we were. They were even a little close-minded in some ways, he thought.

[amravat123]

When I think about what sex is to me, I realize it’s not just about physical acts or pleasure—it’s about connection. Sure, masturbation is a great way to relieve tension, and it’s an important outlet for a lot of people, but for me, sex is something deeper. It’s about feeling understood and truly connecting with someone, not just having a physical release. I get where you're coming from, though. Masturbation can definitely be a satisfying experience for many, and if that’s all someone wants or needs, then that’s totally valid. It’s all about what works for the individual.

That being said, there’s this stigma around masturbation that seems to exist in many cultures. I think we need to move past the idea that it’s just a “last resort” or something to be ashamed of. For some, it’s the most fulfilling sexual outlet. And if that’s your definition of sex, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. It’s such a personal experience, and everyone should be able to define it for themselves without judgment.

What I find interesting is the perspective you brought up about the Netherlands in the 80s. It’s easy to assume that countries with more liberal laws, like legalized prostitution, have a more open-minded approach to sex. But I think the reality is that sexual openness varies from person to person, even in more progressive societies. Maybe they tolerate things like prostitution, but that doesn’t mean everyone feels equally open or comfortable with it. So, sex to me isn’t necessarily about laws or what’s socially accepted—it’s about how each person experiences it.

At the end of the day, sex is what you define it to be. Whether it’s masturbation, intimacy with a partner, or something else entirely, it’s about what brings you fulfillment. And it’s important to respect others’ definitions of sex as well, even if they’re different from your own. Society has its views, but it’s up to each of us to decide what feels right for us.

[hanar123]

To me, sex is more than just the physical act—it’s about how I feel connected to someone else. Sure, masturbation is an important part of my sexual life, and honestly, it’s often the easiest and most satisfying way to relieve tension. But when it comes to actual sex with a partner, it’s about the emotional connection, the chemistry, and the trust. If I didn’t have a partner around, I would still find ways to satisfy myself, but that physical release wouldn’t have the same depth of meaning without the emotional connection that comes from sharing an experience with someone else.

I think it’s fascinating to bring up the story from the Netherlands. The idea that someone could say they’re sexually active but don’t have a partner and instead rely on masturbation really gets me thinking about what sex actually means. For that girl, masturbation was enough. She didn’t need to be in a relationship to define her sexuality or experience sexual fulfillment. It’s not something a lot of people talk about, but I think we all need to recognize that sex can be about personal satisfaction, not just being in a relationship.

As far as the Netherlands goes, I do agree that just because they legalized certain aspects of sex work doesn’t mean they are the ultimate example of sexual freedom or open-mindedness. I’ve visited countries with more liberal laws, and in some ways, the stigma around sex can still exist in subtle ways. It’s not about the laws; it’s about the attitudes that people hold. I think we have to be careful not to assume that just because a society has different laws, they automatically have a better or more open perspective on sex.

Ultimately, the most important thing is understanding that sex is personal, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Whether it’s with a partner or through solo activities, sex is about what satisfies you. It’s all about finding your own definition of it, regardless of what society may say.

[deigo123]

What sex means to me is constantly evolving, but I think it’s mostly about being present in the moment. Whether I’m with a partner or by myself, the experience of truly feeling in touch with my body and my desires is what makes sex meaningful. Sure, masturbation is an easy and quick way to release sexual tension, and I totally agree with you that it can be fulfilling in its own right. But sex, in a more expansive sense, includes emotional connection, trust, and sometimes vulnerability. It’s about the entire experience, not just the physical act.

I’ve heard stories about people who find great satisfaction in solo experiences, and I think that’s so powerful. In a way, masturbation allows you to be in complete control of your pleasure without the influence of anyone else’s preferences. For some people, that’s all they need, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s important that we understand and respect the various ways people engage with their sexuality. Sometimes, people don’t need anything more than themselves to feel satisfied.

The story about the Netherlands is an interesting one. On the surface, it seems like they’re very open about sex, especially with legalized prostitution and a generally more progressive approach. But, like you mentioned, it’s not always as open-minded as people think. I’ve always found that cultural attitudes can vary a lot even within supposedly liberal societies. Sometimes, we get too caught up in comparing different countries’ laws, but the real shift happens when people start embracing the full spectrum of sexual experiences without judgment.

To me, sex is about freedom—freedom to define it however you want. Whether you’re engaging in physical intimacy with someone else or finding satisfaction on your own, it’s a personal choice. No one should feel pressured to conform to society’s definition of what sex “should” be. It’s yours to explore in any way that brings you fulfillment.

[antonio123]

For me, sex has always been about connection—whether it's with a partner or just connecting with my own body. Masturbation is an essential part of my sex life, and I don’t think there’s any shame in that. Sometimes, I think people forget how important it is to understand your own desires before you can truly share them with someone else. It’s like getting in tune with what makes you feel good, and I believe that’s an integral part of having a healthy sexual life. You don’t have to always rely on a partner to experience pleasure—sometimes the best sexual experiences are the ones you have alone.

The idea of sex being something as simple as masturbation is something I’ve been exploring more lately. We all have different needs and desires, and for some, solo experiences are more than enough. The story from the Netherlands you mentioned really made me think about how differently people can define sex. It’s not always about having a partner or engaging in the stereotypical “sex act.” For many, masturbation is not only a release but a form of self-love and care. It’s empowering to acknowledge that our sex lives don’t have to fit a specific mold.

As for the Netherlands, I think we often glamorize places that have more liberal views on sex, but it’s important to recognize that those cultural shifts don’t always translate into more openness on a personal level. I’ve been to places where people are more open-minded on paper, but when you get to know the culture, you realize there’s still a lot of discomfort surrounding sex. So, while I think the Netherlands has made strides in sexual rights, it doesn’t necessarily make them the gold standard of sexual freedom.

At the end of the day, sex is whatever it means to you. It doesn’t have to follow anyone else’s definition. Whether it’s a physical act with a partner or an intimate solo experience, it’s all valid. I think we need to keep redefining sex in ways that work for us as individuals, not as society dictates.

[piciossa]

Sex, for me, is all about freedom—freedom of expression, freedom to explore, and the freedom to be completely in touch with my desires. Masturbation is a big part of that for me, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it being the primary outlet for sexual energy. It’s personal, and it’s private. I think society often overcomplicates sex by focusing too much on relationships and sex with others, when sometimes, the most fulfilling experiences can be had alone. Masturbation lets you explore your own body, learn what feels good, and relieve tension when you need to, without anyone else’s input.

That said, sex is still a highly personal experience. I know people who have a very different definition of what sex means to them. For some, it’s about intimacy and connection with a partner. For others, it’s about exploration and self-pleasure. It’s amazing how varied our sexual lives can be, and it’s important to understand that everyone has their own needs. The key is not to judge other people’s experiences—whether they find satisfaction in a relationship or in their own hands.

The Netherlands is a great example of how we sometimes romanticize other cultures when it comes to sex. While they’ve made progress in some areas, I agree that there’s no universal “open-minded” culture. People are people, and just because a country tolerates things like prostitution doesn’t mean everyone there has an open attitude towards sex. It’s the individual attitudes and values that shape what sex means, not just laws or cultural norms.

Ultimately, sex is what you make of it. It’s not about meeting societal expectations; it’s about understanding and fulfilling your own desires. Whether you’re alone or with a partner, it’s about finding what satisfies you in a way that feels right for you.