Male orgasm trouble

[daniel74]

I am looking for some help. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years, and she can't make me come from a blow job or a hand job, even though she gets me right there, close to cumming. We have tried lube and I have cut back on masturbating with no luck. Does anyone have any ideas? Thank you.

Experiencing difficulty reaching orgasm during oral sex or manual stimulation can be frustrating, but it’s important to remember that many factors can influence this. First and foremost, every person’s body responds differently to various forms of stimulation, and what works for one person might not work for another. Since you've been together for two years and are both clearly committed to understanding each other’s sexual needs, it's good that you’re open to finding solutions.

One possible reason for not reaching orgasm could be the pace or technique used during oral or manual stimulation. You and your girlfriend might benefit from experimenting with different types of pressure, rhythm, or techniques. Sometimes, a change in approach can help trigger a more responsive reaction. You can communicate with your girlfriend about what feels best—whether it's varying the speed, using a different angle, or incorporating some light pressure on the perineum (the area between the scrotum and anus) during stimulation.

Another consideration is mental or emotional factors. Sometimes, performance anxiety, stress, or even distraction can make it harder to reach orgasm, regardless of the type of stimulation. It’s important to create a relaxed, pressure-free environment where you can both feel at ease. Letting go of any expectations or pressure to perform might make a big difference.

Lastly, try focusing more on the overall experience of intimacy rather than solely on orgasm. The pressure to achieve orgasm can sometimes create a block, making it harder to reach that point. If you and your girlfriend can enjoy the process and experiment with different types of touch, positions, and sensations, it may make the experience more satisfying overall. If the issue persists, it might also be worth discussing with a professional, like a sex therapist or doctor, to rule out any underlying issues.

[deigo123]

I can totally relate to your frustration. I’ve been in a similar situation where my girlfriend would get me close but I just couldn’t reach the finish line. It really does get to you after a while. One thing that helped me was focusing on different kinds of stimulation. I found that changing the rhythm, pressure, and even the angle during oral or manual stimulation made a huge difference. It might sound basic, but sometimes our bodies respond better to little changes than we realize.

Another thing I learned is that mental factors play a huge role. Sometimes, when you’re super focused on trying to cum, it can create performance anxiety, which makes it even harder. The key is to let go of that pressure and just enjoy the moment with your partner. Try to get in the zone and focus on the intimacy instead of rushing to orgasm.

It’s also worth mentioning that maybe you’re not as relaxed as you think. Even when you’re not consciously stressed, there can be underlying tension that affects your response. I had to learn to communicate openly with my girlfriend about what felt good and what didn’t. It’s crucial to be open and honest, so she knows how to adjust and help you in the right way.

If you’re still struggling after trying all of this, you might want to explore more professional options. Seeing a sex therapist can really help get to the bottom of things, especially if it’s tied to any deeper issues. But keep experimenting and stay patient—it can take time to figure out what works best for you.

[hanar123]

Hey man, I feel your pain. I had a similar issue a while ago, and it was seriously starting to affect my confidence. I don’t think it’s about performance so much as it’s about finding what works for your body. Some people need a combination of techniques, and others might need a more specific kind of touch. For me, focusing on the pressure during oral sex was a game-changer.

One thing I noticed is that stress or even external worries can really impact your ability to finish. It’s hard to get into the right headspace when you’re thinking about work or life stuff. Try setting up a more relaxed atmosphere. Maybe dim the lights, play some calming music, and really focus on being present with your partner. When your mind isn’t distracted, the physical sensations can come through more clearly.

Another thing that helped me was talking with my partner about the mental aspect of sex. I used to be too embarrassed to talk openly about it, but once we did, it felt like a weight was lifted. Just explaining how I was feeling or what I needed really made a difference. It’s all about open communication, bro—don’t be afraid to speak up about what feels good and what doesn’t.

If you’ve already tried these things and it’s still not working, maybe it’s worth looking into other factors. Hormonal imbalances or even certain medications can affect sexual function, so you might want to check with a healthcare professional. Don’t stress—this is a lot more common than you think.

[amravat123]

Man, I’ve been where you are. After a couple of years with my girlfriend, we started hitting a plateau in the bedroom. She would get me so close but never quite there, and it felt like something was missing. We tried changing positions and playing around with different types of touch, but what finally worked was communicating what I actually needed. A lot of it came down to me being open about what kind of pressure and rhythm really worked.

Another thing to consider is how often you’re masturbating. I didn’t realize it, but I was overdoing it, and it was affecting my response when it came to real sex. Cutting back on solo sessions helped me become more sensitive to my girlfriend’s touch, so it was easier to climax. Maybe try that if you haven’t yet.

I also think the environment matters more than we give it credit for. If there’s any tension or pressure in the room, it can interfere with your ability to orgasm. We started doing things like setting the mood with candles or just talking more openly before sex, which made the whole experience more relaxed and enjoyable.

If you feel like you’ve tried everything and it’s still not working, it might be worth seeing a doctor. Sometimes things like stress, anxiety, or even low testosterone can interfere with sexual function. Don’t be afraid to get checked out if it keeps happening.

[piciossa]

I get what you’re going through, man. I used to struggle with not being able to finish during oral or manual stimulation too. One thing that helped me was being more vocal about what felt good. Sometimes, the key is just letting your partner know exactly how you like it. Try guiding her hand or head and don’t be shy to adjust things. If you don’t feel like you’re about to cum, let her know what you want.

It also helped me to experiment with different types of stimulation. For a while, I didn’t realize that I needed more pressure around the base of my penis during oral. I guess I had just never told my partner that before. Once we figured that out, things started improving. The body’s response to touch is pretty unique, so don’t be afraid to ask for what feels right.

Another factor to consider is mental distractions. I noticed that the more I focused on “not finishing,” the harder it became. Try to focus on how good it feels and let the orgasm come naturally. Removing the pressure can make all the difference.

Lastly, try not to overthink it. Just keep experimenting, communicating with your girlfriend, and being patient. Sex is about enjoying the journey, not just the destination. Don’t stress too much, and eventually, things will click.

[antonio123]

I’ve been in your shoes before, and I know how discouraging it can feel. The main thing I’ve learned is that every guy’s body is different, and what works for one person might not work for another. It sounds like you’re already on the right track by communicating with your girlfriend, but I’d suggest trying a few more things. For me, it was all about finding the right technique. The speed and pressure during oral sex or hand jobs can make a big difference.

Another factor is getting in the right headspace. It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure to perform, especially when you’re close but can’t quite finish. I found that focusing on the sensations and intimacy rather than just aiming for the orgasm was a huge help. When you’re not stressing about the outcome, it makes everything flow a lot easier.

Also, if you’ve tried everything and it still doesn’t seem to work, consider talking to a doctor. Sometimes there are underlying health issues, like hormone imbalances or even medications that affect sexual performance. It doesn’t hurt to get a professional opinion if this keeps happening.

Lastly, try to keep it fun. Sometimes experimenting with different positions or even incorporating toys can add a new dynamic to things. Keep an open mind and communicate with your partner—you’ll get through this!