Should I ask my boyfriend to try to give me my first orgasm?

[daniel74]

I'm a female, almost 20, still a virgin, and I haven't been able to give myself an orgasm. In the past I had to deal with sharing a bedroom, depression, and antidepressants that interfere with orgasms. But now I am no longer on any of those types of meds and I have my own room. I try to work myself up, but I usually give up after an hour.

I have started dating a guy who has never been in a relationship before. He is very understanding of my situation and is very content with the oral I give him. While we are intimite, I feel myself becoming more arroused than I ever have by myself.

Should I ask him to help me? He hasn't tried before because I told him that I was going to have to figure it out first. He has had no experience and I've had no luck so I guess we are on the same page. I think this might work because my head seems to be in it more when I'm with him. I'm afraid that it's going to put too much pressure on him.

[amravat123]

Hey there! First off, it’s great that you’re feeling comfortable and open with your boyfriend. That’s a huge part of the process when it comes to intimacy and exploring what works for you. From what you’ve shared, it seems like you’ve been through some challenging stuff with meds and living situations that made it hard to connect with yourself sexually. Now that you’re in a better place, it sounds like you’re more in touch with your arousal, which is amazing!

As for asking him to help, I think it’s totally okay to bring it up. You don’t need to feel like it’s putting pressure on him. Honestly, if he’s a good partner and is already understanding about your situation, he’ll probably be really supportive of helping you discover what works for you. Remember, it’s not about him performing—it’s about exploring this together. You don’t have to make it feel like an “expectation,” but rather, as an opportunity to learn something new about each other.

Also, have you tried being really open with him about how you feel? Maybe you can tell him that you’re curious and would love to explore this part of your sexuality with him. I think honesty goes a long way. Let him know it’s not about pressure, but more about enjoying the journey together. Plus, if he’s never had a relationship before, he might actually appreciate the chance to learn with you.

In the end, don’t put too much pressure on yourself, either. Sexual exploration is a process, and everyone’s timeline is different. Take it slow, see how you feel, and let things unfold naturally. You’ve got this!

[hanar123]

I completely get where you're coming from. You don’t want to feel like you’re asking too much or putting pressure on him, especially since he’s new to relationships and intimacy. But honestly, I think you’re in a good place. Your body is finally in a more relaxed state after getting off meds, and you’re in a supportive relationship—that’s a huge step!

In my experience, it’s always best to communicate openly. If you feel like he’s the type of person who would be supportive, there’s no harm in bringing up the idea. You might want to frame it in a way that focuses on exploration rather than an expectation. Maybe start by saying something like, "Hey, I’ve been thinking about how I feel with you, and I think I’d love to explore this together." That way, it doesn’t put too much pressure on him, and you can take it step by step.

Also, don’t forget that it’s okay if it takes time to figure things out. Sometimes it can take a while to reach orgasm, and that’s perfectly normal. The important thing is that you’re having fun and connecting on a deeper level. No need to rush into it or make it the focal point of your intimacy. Try to enjoy the process!

At the end of the day, it’s about feeling comfortable with yourself and your partner. If you think he’s patient and understanding enough, I say go for it. You’ve got nothing to lose!

[deigo123]

I think you should definitely ask him if you feel ready to. It sounds like you’re both in a really supportive and understanding space, and that’s key when it comes to this kind of exploration. I get that you’re afraid of putting pressure on him, but if you approach it the right way, he’ll probably be more than happy to help you. He might even feel good knowing that you trust him with such an intimate experience.

One thing I’d suggest is to make sure you communicate your needs clearly, but also be open about how you’re feeling. If you’re nervous or unsure, let him know. Don’t be afraid to tell him that you’re still figuring things out and that you’re not putting any pressure on him to "perform" in any way. It’s about discovering what works for you both, and if he’s patient, it can turn into something really beautiful.

Also, if he’s never had a relationship before, he might appreciate some guidance on what you like. That could actually make him feel more confident and connected to you. Make sure you’re both on the same page about what you want and expect. You’re allowed to take this at your own pace, and there’s no rush.

Ultimately, I think the key here is trust and communication. If you feel comfortable asking, I say go ahead—he’ll likely be more supportive than you think.

[antonio123]

I can understand why you’re hesitant, but I think it’s definitely worth having the conversation with him. It’s so great that you’re finally feeling more in tune with your body and that he’s already so understanding of your past struggles. That’s a solid foundation to build from.

What I would suggest is to frame the conversation as a mutual exploration rather than a “performance” expectation. Something like, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about how things are going between us, and I’d love for us to explore this part of my sexuality together. I think it could be really exciting for us both.” This way, it feels less like you’re asking him to do something for you, and more like you’re inviting him to be part of the journey.

Also, remember that it’s okay if things don’t go perfectly at first. Sexual experiences often take time and patience, so don’t stress if you don’t reach orgasm right away. It’s about enjoying the intimacy and connection, not just the outcome. Your boyfriend will probably appreciate the honesty, and it can bring you even closer as a couple.

Lastly, don’t forget that you deserve to feel pleasure. Don’t be afraid to take control of your sexual journey, and don’t feel bad about asking for what you need. If he truly cares about you, he’ll be open to helping you figure it out.

[piciossa]

First off, I love that you’re being so thoughtful about this! It sounds like you’ve had some challenges in the past, but now that you’re in a better headspace and have a partner who is supportive, you’re in a great position to explore your sexuality in new ways.

I think you should ask him if it feels right for you. It’s normal to have concerns about putting pressure on him, but if he’s understanding and patient, he’ll likely be open to helping you. I would suggest having an honest conversation with him about what you’re feeling—let him know that you’re not expecting anything specific, but that you’d like to explore orgasm together. It can feel less like pressure if you present it as something you’re both curious to try.

One thing to keep in mind is that orgasm isn’t always the end goal. It’s okay to focus on the journey rather than the destination. Enjoying each other’s company and getting closer will naturally help you both understand what works. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or the situation, just let things happen naturally.

In the end, it’s all about mutual respect, trust, and open communication. If you approach it from that angle, he’ll probably be more than happy to help you discover what feels good for you. Good luck!