I Can Only Orgasm To Lesbian Porn, But I'm Never Attracted To Women In Real Life?

[jonny09256]

I've only had two partners, one was only twice for my first two times. The other I was with for four years. I never had an orgasm with either of them. I've only ever been able to orgasm while masturbating to lesbian porn, specifically strap-on. I can't orgasm unless strap-on is involved, i.e. I won't orgasm to lesbian oral sex or grinding. When I'm masturbating, I love the idea of being with a woman and seriously consider doing it. But once I orgasm, I'm no longer interested at all and only think of men. In my daily life, I'm only attracted to men. I only have romantic feelings and desires towards men. The thought of performing oral sex on an attractive man sounds pleasurable to me, but the thought of performing oral sex on a woman nauseates and disgusts me a lot.

I experienced pleasure with my former partner, I just never orgasmed. Sometimes I wonder if it had something to do with him because he couldn't stay in one position for longer than 20 seconds without cumming and also never lasted more than a minute or two with breaks. But that doesn't explain why I can only orgasm when fantasizing about women, not men. A lot of times I will fantasize about men and get extremely turned on, but I have to switch to the strap-on fantasy to actually orgasm.

Can anyone explain this? I would love to orgasm another way. I feel it would be more satisfying.

[piciossa]

It’s interesting to see how our minds and bodies can react in such specific ways when it comes to sex. I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with what you’re experiencing, though it does sound like a unique mix of physical and psychological factors. You might have developed a strong connection between arousal and the specific fantasy scenario you mentioned (strap-ons in lesbian porn). These things can stem from early experiences, exposure, or even just strong associations in the brain. It’s common for people to find certain fantasies more arousing than real-life scenarios, even if they're into the opposite gender in daily life.

From my own experience, I’ve noticed that certain kinks or preferences can be triggered more by mental imagery than physical reality. It might not necessarily mean you're "broken" or anything like that. It's also important to recognize that sexual preferences are often fluid and don’t always neatly fit into typical boxes of attraction. The fact that you feel pleasure with your partner but have never orgasmed might be about a mental block or even anxiety. Maybe you’re focusing so much on trying to achieve orgasm that you’ve inadvertently built up some pressure around it.

As for the thought of oral sex with a woman, that's totally fine. Sexual preferences are personal, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your masculinity or sexuality. A lot of men are repulsed by the thought of giving oral sex to women, just like some women may feel uncomfortable with performing oral sex on men. It doesn’t make you any less of a man; it's just what works for you.

I’d recommend exploring these thoughts more with a therapist who specializes in sexuality. There’s a lot of complexity to sexual experiences, and they can help uncover underlying reasons for why you might feel more connected to certain fantasies. You’re not alone in this, and there’s definitely room for you to experience a satisfying orgasm in ways that work for you!

[amravat123]

I think you might be dealing with a mix of conditioning and possibly a bit of performance anxiety. Your mind is associating orgasms with a very specific scenario—strap-ons in lesbian porn—and that could be something your brain has locked in as the "key" to orgasm. It’s not unusual for people to develop such specific fantasies, and it’s not necessarily an indication of being attracted to women. I can imagine that it might feel confusing, especially since you only feel attracted to men in real life.

I don’t think your lack of orgasms in previous relationships is about your partner, but more about the mental block you’ve created around sex. The fact that you can orgasm through a specific fantasy suggests that your body can experience orgasm, it’s just that the mental connection has to be right. This could be linked to certain patterns of thought or deep-rooted desires that haven’t been fully unlocked yet.

Your experience with oral sex is also something worth considering. The fact that you enjoy the idea of performing oral sex on men but are repulsed by the thought of doing it with women doesn’t indicate a problem. It just shows that your sexual preferences might be more about gender and power dynamics than what people typically assume. There's no universal rule about what people should like, and sometimes, attraction to specific acts is more about mental stimulation than physical attraction.

Have you thought about experimenting with different sexual scenarios and seeing how your body reacts? You might find that some things you never thought you'd enjoy become sources of pleasure if you allow your mind to be more open. A sex therapist could also help you work through this and remove any mental blocks preventing you from reaching orgasm more naturally.

[antonio123]

I completely understand where you’re coming from! This idea of only being able to orgasm through a specific type of fantasy can be frustrating and confusing. I don’t think it means you’re broken or that you have a hidden attraction to women, though. It might just be that your brain has become accustomed to one specific type of stimulation. Many people experience sexual arousal in very particular ways, and that doesn’t always line up with how they identify or who they’re attracted to in real life.

One possibility here is that the strap-on scenario is giving you the exact type of mental stimulation that helps you reach orgasm. You mentioned that when you think about men, you get turned on but can’t orgasm until you switch to the lesbian fantasy. That sounds like a mental association that your brain has developed over time. You could try to work on breaking that association by experimenting with different types of stimulation, both physically and mentally, to see if you can gradually reprogram your response. It might take time, but exploring new fantasies or scenarios that excite you could help.

As for the discomfort with oral sex on women, don’t sweat it. It’s completely fine to have preferences when it comes to acts and gender. Everyone has their own unique sexual preferences, and there’s no right or wrong when it comes to what feels good to you. The fact that you find the idea of being intimate with men more appealing doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with your sexuality—it’s just part of your personal sexual expression.

Have you tried talking to a therapist or sex coach about these experiences? A professional could offer guidance and exercises to help you explore your sexuality in a healthier way. Sometimes, understanding the psychology behind our fantasies can unlock new levels of pleasure and fulfillment in our real-life sexual experiences.

[deigo123]

This is such an interesting topic, and honestly, I can totally relate to parts of what you're saying. Sexual arousal can be a tricky thing. In some cases, it’s very specific and tied to particular fantasies or scenarios that might not reflect what you’re truly attracted to in real life. I think what you’re going through could be a result of a few factors, including what your mind has become accustomed to when it comes to sexual release. Your experience of needing to fantasize about a strap-on scenario to orgasm doesn’t necessarily mean you're attracted to women in real life; it’s more about what your body and mind have associated with sexual satisfaction.

It’s possible that your previous partners weren’t meeting your sexual needs in a way that allowed you to truly experience orgasm. I know that sounds frustrating, but sometimes a mismatch in sexual energy can be a huge factor in whether or not orgasm happens. It doesn’t necessarily mean you didn’t enjoy being with them or that there was something wrong with your relationship. It might just be that your body needs a very specific type of mental stimulation to truly let go and orgasm.

I also think the way you feel about oral sex on women is completely valid. Attraction isn’t something that can always be neatly defined, and it’s okay to have preferences that don’t necessarily align with what’s "expected." It sounds like your desires and sexual responses are more aligned with male sexuality, and that’s fine. Everyone is different, and there’s no need to conform to certain norms when it comes to what excites you.

I’d suggest keeping an open mind and perhaps trying new ways to approach masturbation and sexual encounters. Exploring different fantasies or even talking to someone who’s open-minded about sexual behavior could help you uncover new ways of achieving pleasure. It’s all about finding what works for you, and I think you’re on the right track by seeking answers.

[hanar123]

You’re definitely not alone in feeling confused about your sexual responses. I’ve had similar experiences where my body responds to certain fantasies in ways that don’t seem to align with my real-life attractions. It's important to note that sexual arousal and orgasm don’t always match up with one’s real-life romantic or sexual identity. For example, many people can experience arousal from a fantasy scenario that has no connection to what they’re attracted to in real life. In your case, it sounds like your body has conditioned itself to react to a specific type of scenario (strap-on lesbian porn), but that doesn’t mean your attraction to men in real life isn’t valid.

It’s also worth considering that the mind plays a massive role in sexual pleasure. The fact that you’re only able to orgasm when fantasizing about strap-ons might suggest that your mind is more focused on the imagery and the dynamics that come with it than on real-life experiences. That’s not unusual, and it’s not a sign of anything being “wrong” with you. It could just be the way your brain works with sexual stimulation.

I think the key here is to experiment and see what works for you. If you’re feeling frustrated by your current situation, try changing things up a bit. Explore different types of stimulation, including fantasies and real-life situations, and see how your body reacts. You might discover new ways to bring yourself to orgasm without relying on the same fantasy.

As for oral sex on women, again, there’s no need to feel bad or conflicted. Sexual preference isn’t universal, and there’s no reason you should be attracted to everything that others might expect. If that’s not your thing, that’s completely okay. It’s all about finding what turns you on and makes you feel comfortable. Don’t be afraid to explore, and most importantly, be kind to yourself in the process.