Better orgasm during sex

[jonny09256]

I recently had sex for the first time, but I noticed I couldn’t exactly feel everything. I clearly knew I was inside, but it was almost as if my penis was a little numb in some parts. I feel this may be caused by a prolonged erection before intercourse, as I was hard for probably 30-45 straight minutes before doing it, and even longer before that. My main question is, during foreplay (whether it’s just kissing or me eating her out beforehand), should I try to make my erection go away by doing something like flexing a muscle or two? I feel this may help the sensation, but I am looking for some advice. Thanks.

It’s not uncommon to experience numbness or a decrease in sensation, especially if you’ve had an extended period of arousal leading up to intercourse. A prolonged erection can sometimes cause a temporary numbing effect due to the increased blood flow and pressure in the area, which can reduce sensitivity. This is more likely to happen if you’ve been highly aroused for an extended time without any release, which might lead to that numb feeling you experienced.

As for your question about foreplay, it’s a good idea to experiment with different techniques to help manage your arousal levels and maintain control over your sensations. Some men find that focusing on relaxation or switching up the types of stimulation during foreplay can help balance out the intensity of their erections. For example, engaging in more gentle or non-penetrative acts, such as kissing or oral sex, might help you stay more relaxed and prevent overstimulation, which can lead to that numb feeling. You could also try light stretching or even flexing to release some tension in your pelvic area, but make sure not to overdo it as this could cause discomfort.

It’s also worth considering the mental side of things. Sometimes, focusing too much on trying to maintain an erection can create anxiety or stress, which may contribute to physical sensations like numbness. Communicating openly with your partner can help both of you stay relaxed and in the moment, making the experience more enjoyable for both of you. Remember, it’s not about trying to "fix" something that’s wrong, but rather understanding your body and what works best for you during these intimate moments.

Finally, if you continue to experience numbness or loss of sensation, it could be worth consulting a healthcare professional to rule out any underlying issues, but in many cases, this is simply a normal part of learning your body’s responses to sexual activity. With time and experience, your body will likely adjust, and you’ll find what works best for you and your partner.

[piciossa]

Hey, man, I totally get what you're talking about. I've had something similar happen to me, especially in those early sexual experiences when you're excited and the blood is rushing down there. That numb feeling can definitely mess with the sensation and it can feel a little off. What helped me was not focusing too much on the erection itself but more on the foreplay. I found that when I slowed down and focused on giving and receiving pleasure through oral sex or deep kissing, it kept me in the moment without getting overstimulated."

"I know it can be tempting to try to get rid of the erection by flexing or trying to 'reset' yourself, but in my experience, that usually just caused more stress and messed with the flow of things. Instead, I learned that taking my time during foreplay helped me stay relaxed, and it actually made me more in tune with the sensations when we got to intercourse. I'd recommend you experiment with gentle, less intense stimulation before the actual act."

"The mental aspect of it is huge, too. I used to worry about maintaining a perfect erection or lasting long enough, and that just created unnecessary pressure. Now, I try to focus on being present and communicating with my partner about what feels good. I’ve found that when I let go of the need to perform perfectly, the sensation and overall pleasure gets a lot better."

"Also, if the numbness or lack of sensation continues, don’t hesitate to check in with a professional. While it’s probably just a normal reaction from too much arousal, getting a check-up never hurts, especially if it continues to happen. That way, you can rule out anything serious and focus on enjoying yourself.

[antonio123]

Sounds like you're going through something a lot of guys experience when they're just starting to get more comfortable with sex. I remember having the same feeling where things just didn't feel as intense as I thought they would, especially after a long build-up. The issue might be that you're spending too much time on the edge, trying to hold on to that high level of arousal, which can make you feel numb."

"I don't think you need to worry too much about trying to 'lose' your erection with flexing or anything like that. I tried that before and it felt awkward, honestly. What worked for me was breaking things up with more diverse stimulation. I'd focus on touching, kissing, and just exploring my partner’s body without rushing into penetration. It kept things balanced, and honestly, it made the orgasms feel way better."

"Also, I agree with what others have said about the mental side of things. Once I started taking the pressure off myself and focusing on enjoying the experience without any expectations, I noticed a big improvement in how I felt during sex. I wasn’t constantly thinking, ‘Is this normal?’ I just let my body react naturally."

"In terms of physical tips, try to keep your pelvic area relaxed. Maybe do a little stretching or massaging beforehand. It can make a big difference. But if you’re still feeling numbness or if it continues over time, seeing a doctor for peace of mind could be a good call

[deigo123]

Man, I totally hear you on this one. I remember that 'numb' feeling when I first started getting more serious with sex, and it’s honestly something that’s pretty common. The extended arousal can definitely throw off the natural rhythm of things and dull your sensations. What helped me was learning to pace myself during foreplay and focusing on different ways to keep the arousal levels balanced. It’s all about learning your body."

"I tried all sorts of things when I first started out—flexing muscles, trying to relax, holding off on the big stuff to manage the arousal. But I’ve found that the best approach is variety. I like alternating between gentle caresses, oral sex, and just kissing. This keeps me from getting overwhelmed by too much stimulation too soon and gives me a chance to gauge how I’m feeling before the main event."

"Also, I think there's a huge mental element here. The more you focus on not getting too excited or feeling like you’re failing, the worse it can get. I started to realize that my body just needed time to adjust, and that trying to force something to happen wasn’t the way to go. The more relaxed I am, the better the sensation becomes."

"One thing that helped me as well was learning to communicate openly with my partner. It’s so much better when both of you are on the same page and can try different things to make the experience better. If you’re still feeling numb after trying some of these adjustments, definitely think about seeing a professional just to rule out any physical issues

[amravat123]

I had a similar experience a while back, and it threw me off because I wasn’t expecting to lose that level of sensation. After getting super hard during foreplay, I felt like I couldn’t fully enjoy the sex because I wasn’t feeling much. It’s not uncommon, especially if you’re spending a long time in that aroused state. The key, in my opinion, is knowing when to switch things up."

"During foreplay, I’d recommend taking breaks from direct stimulation. Focus on lighter activities, like touching or kissing, to reduce the intensity. This helps keep things in a comfortable zone where you're not overstimulated but still feeling pleasure. As for flexing, I wouldn’t overdo it—it can add more tension to the area, which can lead to discomfort. Keeping it relaxed is the best way to stay in control of your sensations."

"Another trick I learned was to make sure I'm breathing properly. Sounds simple, but deep breathing during foreplay can really help reduce the mental pressure and allow your body to stay relaxed. I know for me, if I start thinking too much about staying hard or lasting longer, it messes with my pleasure. Taking the time to breathe deeply helped me stay more in tune with the feeling rather than just rushing through it."

"Lastly, it might take time to learn what works best for you. Don’t feel discouraged if it’s not perfect right away. Every experience is a learning opportunity, and over time, you’ll figure out how to maximize sensation for yourself

[hanar123]

Hey there, I get what you're saying. A lot of guys go through this phase when they’re learning about their own bodies and what works best for them. The feeling of numbness or lack of sensation can definitely be disorienting, but it’s usually temporary. That long-lasting erection can make things feel a little 'off,' but it’s something that can be managed."

"I agree with the others here that the key is to experiment with different kinds of foreplay. Instead of just focusing on penetration, try to involve more teasing and lighter touches to keep things in balance. I found that it helped me maintain a good level of arousal without going numb. It’s all about pacing yourself and keeping things fresh. Also, try not to stress about your erection—it’ll only add to the numb feeling."

"One thing that really helped me is focusing on the connection and communication with my partner. Sometimes, talking through the experience, telling her what feels good, or simply taking things slower can make a huge difference. It’s about enjoying the journey rather than rushing to the destination."

"Also, if this continues for a while, it might be a good idea to talk to a doctor, just to make sure everything is in order. But don't be too hard on yourself; it's normal for things to feel off while you’re figuring it out. With time, things will likely improve.