Balancing Cultural Differences and Personal Preferences

[aiden15632]

Cultural and Social Norms
Drinking Culture: Thailand's drinking culture can be diverse, with significant variations depending on region, background, and personal choice. While some Thai women may not drink much or at all due to cultural or personal reasons, others might have more relaxed attitudes towards alcohol, especially in urban areas or among certain social circles. Understanding this diversity can help in managing expectations and finding a match who shares similar habits.

Social Activities: Social norms in Thailand can include unique activities that reflect local interests, such as visiting themed cafes or attending festivals. Engaging in these activities can provide a better understanding of local culture and create opportunities to connect with people who share your interests.

Maturity and Interests
Perceived Maturity: What might appear as immaturity could be a reflection of differing cultural values or stages in life. For example, younger Thai women might focus more on family values or traditional hobbies, while older women or those in professional fields might have different interests and perspectives. It’s useful to consider these factors when assessing maturity.

Personal Growth: Thai women, like women anywhere, have varied experiences and interests. Exploring different social settings and interacting with people from various backgrounds can help you find those who are more aligned with your preferences and values.

Finding the Right Match
Age and Interests: If you're seeking women with specific social habits, consider looking at those who are slightly older or more experienced. Women in their late 20s and 30s might have different social patterns and be more in line with your expectations regarding drinking or social activities.

Professional Jobs: Women with established careers often have different lifestyles and may be more accustomed to diverse social experiences. They might also be more aligned with your interests and habits compared to younger individuals still in school or early in their careers.

Adjusting Expectations
Understanding Cultural Context: Cultural differences can significantly impact behavior and preferences. What seems unusual from a Western perspective may be normal in Thailand. Being aware of these cultural nuances can help in adjusting your expectations and appreciating local customs.

Flexibility and Open-mindedness: Approaching dating with an open mind and flexibility allows for better adaptation to cultural differences. Communicate your own interests and be willing to understand and engage with local customs to create more meaningful connections.

Exploring Options
Broaden Your Search: Expanding your social activities and interests can help you meet people who align better with your preferences. Join clubs, attend events, or participate in hobbies that you enjoy to find like-minded individuals.

Language Exchange and Networking: Continue with language exchanges and networking opportunities. These can lead to connections with people who share your interests and might offer a more nuanced understanding of local culture.

Personal Reflection
Self-Assessment: Reflect on your own preferences and what you are seeking in a relationship. Understanding your needs and being clear about your expectations can help in finding a more compatible partner.
Conclusion
Dating in Thailand involves navigating cultural differences and understanding local social norms. By being open to these differences, exploring a range of social settings, and considering diverse backgrounds, you can find connections that better match your interests and preferences.

[daniel74]

I would edit the above but I can't figure out how to do it on my tablet, so this is a PS added on to the above.



There is a similar thread to this about bgs vs hotel girls but all the responses seem to be focused on the sex.



While obviously I care about the sex, its not what I'm really looking to get feedback on the other stuff, what I really want to know is are there professional girls with some edge about them and if so are they in the minority or are they there to find if you look?



Cheers

[hilululu]

First off, congratulations. You got me to sign in on my computer. I write 99% of my posts on my iphone, but that little screen just wasn't going to cut it for a response to your lengthy post.



Secondly, I think it's a great idea that you are taking the time and putting in the effort to learn Thai. That is going to be the single most valuable thing you can do early on if you really intend to stay here long-term and particularly help with finding a wider range of Thai girls. Even speaking basic, basic Thai will set you apart from the thousands who can't say a word.



I think you are also off to a good start by managing expectations for "normal" girls. Hooking up with bargirls for quick and easy fun while starting to converse with a number of regular girls to cultivate some relationships should help balance what you want (sex with normal, non-working girls- don't we all) with enjoying the amazing place you now find yourself in.



What you mention about the girls in their 20s being immature by Western standards I also find true. I noticed this a lot in Japan as well where I have spent a lot of time. Women in their 20s with rooms filled with stuffed animals and every text message containing cutesy emoticons. Conversations that consisted of nothing of substance (I speak Japanese fluently, so that wasn't the barrier) but just what's 'cute' and what's 'scary'. Although I enjoyed banging the 18-20 year olds just for the fact that they were hot, tight bodied Asian girls, I found myself drawn to the over 30 crowd. Easier to talk to about a wide range of topics, more life experience, and most importantly, more sexually experienced and aware. This holds true in Thailand as well.



When I moved to Thailand I went through the same progression as I had previously. Now, 2 years on, I speak very conversant Thai, bang massage girls and freelancers, but have a girlfriend who is actually 3 years older than me (avatar) and when I date other girls they are almost exclusively 25-35 years old. The cute, shy college girl seems fun, but the sexual and mental immaturity coupled with the clinginess and need for attention just pushes the scales to a point that I don't pursue that type generally.



My advice to you would be to search for girls in categories based on what you hope to find. If you want a quick lay, stick to the pros. Cheap, easy, no questions or drama. If you want someone with whom you can converse, enjoy a drink and build a friendship or romance with, search for one a bit more educated and closer to your age range. This sounds like common logic, but sometimes stopping to think to yourself if your expectations are in line with reality can help steer your focus. We all want a super hot, intelligent 20 year old who is great in bed and has the same hobbies as us and isn't clingy or childish but that isn't really going to happen very often.



Bangkok has somewhere north of 5 million women, and a good number of those are available. You can definitely find any type you are looking for, but the real catches take time.



Good luck, and enjoy the hunt!

[johnson13]

Thanks kimao for taking the time to respond so thoroughly.



Solid advice and I think confirms that I may have to reevaluate the dating pool I choose from.



To ensure I'm giving as accurate a picture as possible, I'll give some ages no.1 - 23, no 2 - 29, no.3- 26, no.4 -31.



Its not that I'm not aware that I should be thinking in terms of age appropriateness, I haven't dated a girl younger than 25 in the west for years and its simply because I don't find enough in common with the younger ones back in the UK, so I wasn't expecting that the LOS was going to be like waving a magic wand and hey presto, 20 year old intelligent stunners with good english, and similar interests would be flocking to me simply because I'm not your typical farang sex tourist.



As you say learning Thai will open up a lot more options to me and that is great motivation.



I suppose what I was saying is that I thought I was looking in the right pool, 25+ with sensible professional jobs, and I had assumed (wrongly I suspect now) that them having decent English would actually represent a certain level of intelligence and independence simply because they we're in a position to learn English.



I think now that perhaps that same assumption may also lead to a certain level of immaturity as the ones that are in that position may typically have have had more protected and molly cuddled upbringings, where typically they get looked after and as such they have never had to learn the hard life lessons that so often brings with it independence. I also think this ties in with Thai culture, in the UK we all leave home at far younger ages and start looking after ourselves without assistance, while here there is a munch more built in dependency on family whether it be financial or emotional support, and I assume that this also leads to a lack of self development and ideology, hence the immaturity.



While I'm in a position to help financially it kind of goes against everything I really look for in a women, I want someone who knows her own mind, doesn't look to me for her opinions, can hold a conversation of substance and is fully capable of and wants to support themselves.



This quite naturally leads to what do I bring to the table that justifies such a women being interested in me and yes while from a Farang/ homeland perspective I never had any questions over my value (in this sense) here I have to understand that the type of women I'm looking for is probably much rarer on the ground and therefore I'm going to have to up my game (learn Thai, understand Thai culture better).



I think Thai language is going to be essential because as you say there a 5 million women in Bkk and I'm sure that a large % have had to learn to be independent, but they haven't necessarily had any need to learn English (I'm fully aware of the English arrogance in dependence on other countries to learn our language in this statement and one that I thought I was above, but now realise that while conciousely I was aware of it and disagreed with it, subconsciously I was relying on it more than I thought).



Not the worst thing in the world because I'm sure I will have lots of fun on the journey and it should always be an objective to learn in life, nothing good ever comes easy.



Anyway again thank you for the reply and I will bear all the advice in mind.



PS if your gfs picture is in your avatar, who cares if shes 3 years older than you, she has an awesome body, well done!

[shant234]

As usual, Kimao gives some sound advice. I agree that learning Thai is going to be your biggest weapon in meeting traditional Thai girls. My ability to meet normal girls has skyrocked since I went from knowing nothing to be able to coversate mostly in Thai.



Like you I am really only attracted to the 20 somethings, and from my experience most of them outside of p4p are very much "good girls" and have some very immature elements. I recall one of the first girls I met off of Facebook who was 20 years old came to my hotel and what does she turn on the TV? Barney & Friends! I about shit my pants that she wanted to watch a show for toddlers. They are not all like this however.



Most of the normal girls I have met do not drink much at all, with a few exceptions thrown in here and there. If you spend a considerable amount of time with girls who are close to the p4p scene who like to go out and party and drink all night it can be a bit of a bummer when you meet a normal girl who would rather do cutesy things than go out and party. The incredible looks, talent, and good times from the p4p girls can and will spoil you very quickly, and you will find that your standards are constantly escalating.



My strategy is a little bit different than Kimao. I look at it this way.... There are 5 million girls in Bangkok, why the hell am I going to settle? I don't feel I have to searh for the older girls. I know for a fact that there is a good girl that I'm going to meet who is insanely hot, great in bed, and a lot of fun to talk to and be around. I'm confident that there are girls in their 20's who are like this, even if they may be rare, so I just meet any girl I think has potential and go from there. And with each experience my "game" becomes a little bit better.



Also remember that what you see is not what you get in any relationship, whether it be a Thai or a Western woman. It's fun to show girls new things and take them to new places... Slowly but surely the girls will become more like you and you will become more like them. Do some of the cutesy stuff that they want to do and they will do some of the wild stuff you want to do. I've had a few girls remind me how fun it can be to just go out and stroll the market or watch a movie together, while I've also took some sheltered girls out to RCA and brought their party side out of them.



When living in the fast lane it's easy to keep going faster and faster... Sometimes a good girl is the perfect thing to balance you and make you more grounded.