You can never masturbate too much... but I have a question

[ban908463]

Hi, I'm Steve-O ... I guess masturbating is one of my favorite hobbies... When I was a kid, I used to do it 4-5 times a day, and now I do about 4-5 times a week.


I have a question, however. I am a virgin, and I always fear that "the first time" (or maybe the second and third as well for that matter), I am going to cum in 8 seconds... Is this a normal fear, and is it likely to be relevant? Do all you other male virgins out there feel that way?
This concern is quite common among those who have never had sexual experience before. Many people worry about their performance, especially when it comes to lasting longer during sex. The reality is that the first few experiences can be nerve-wracking, and excitement or anxiety can make ejaculation happen quicker than expected. This doesn't mean it will always be that way—practice, relaxation, and understanding your body can all help improve control over time.

One of the best ways to manage this fear is to practice techniques that help with endurance. Kegel exercises, for example, can strengthen the muscles responsible for ejaculation control. Additionally, methods like edging (stopping just before orgasm and waiting before continuing) can train the body to last longer. Many people find that with experience and confidence, they naturally improve their ability to control ejaculation.
It’s also important to remember that sex is about more than just lasting a long time. Communication with a partner, mutual enjoyment, and focusing on overall intimacy are just as important. A caring and understanding partner will likely be more focused on the connection than on how long the act lasts. Plus, there are many ways to keep a partner satisfied that don't rely on penetration alone.

In the end, the fear of finishing too quickly is something that many men experience, but it's not something to stress over. The first few times might be unpredictable, but with time, patience, and experience, things tend to balance out. Instead of worrying too much, it's best to focus on enjoying the moment and learning about what works best for you and your future partner.

[amravat123]

totally get where you're coming from. I think a lot of guys—especially virgins—worry about this exact thing. The truth is, the first time is unpredictable for almost everyone. Some guys last longer than they expect, others finish quickly due to nerves or excitement. There's no "normal" in this situation, just a range of experiences.

One thing that helped me personally was getting used to the sensation of high arousal and controlling it. Edging, like you mentioned, is a game-changer. If you can train yourself to stay right on the edge without finishing, you'll develop much better control. It also helps to slow things down mentally—focus on breathing and staying present instead of letting excitement take over.

Another trick is to not go in thinking of penetration as the main event. There’s a lot more to sex than just that. Foreplay, making her feel good in other ways, and taking breaks all contribute to a better experience overall. If you go in thinking "I need to last," it puts pressure on you, and pressure is the fastest way to lose control.

Bottom line: Don’t sweat it too much. Everyone starts somewhere, and you’ll get better with time. Just remember that the experience is about connection and fun, not a performance contest.

[hanar123]

Man, I was exactly where you are when I lost my virginity. I used to be terrified I’d bust in like 10 seconds, and honestly, I did finish fast the first time—but it wasn’t a disaster like I imagined. The girl didn’t freak out or get mad. If anything, she thought it was flattering. The key is what you do after—round two is always better.

Masturbation habits do play a role, though. If you’re used to finishing quickly while jerking off, your body is trained to release fast. If you want to last longer, start slowing yourself down when you masturbate. Try holding off, controlling your breathing, and even using a different grip to simulate the real thing more closely.

And let’s not forget—the more you stress about it, the more likely it is to happen. I know, easier said than done, but confidence goes a long way. If you go in thinking, “Oh no, I’m gonna finish too soon,” your brain will make it happen. Instead, just relax, have fun, and remind yourself that no one’s perfect their first time.

With experience, you’ll gain control. Sex is a skill like any other—practice makes perfect. Before you know it, this won’t even be something you worry about anymore.

[deigo123]

Dude, I think every virgin has this fear at some point. And yeah, for some guys, the first time does end fast. But the good news is, it's usually not as big of a deal as we make it in our heads. If you’re with someone who actually cares about you, they won’t judge you for it. And if they do, well… they weren’t worth it anyway.

I’d say the biggest game-changer for me was learning to focus on the entire experience instead of just penetration. Women enjoy a lot more than just the main event. Kissing, touching, going down on her—these things all build up the experience and take the pressure off of you to “perform.” If you focus on making her feel good in other ways, she’s gonna be way more into you regardless of how long you last.

Also, a little secret: condoms + a small amount of numbing lube can help slow things down if you’re really worried about it. It’s not a long-term solution, but it’s a good way to get through the nerves of the first couple of times. Plus, if you get her to orgasm before penetration even happens, then the pressure on you completely disappears.

At the end of the day, this is a temporary issue. The more you do it, the better you get. Nobody is a pro on day one—just go with the flow and have fun.

[antonio123]

first of all, props for being open about this. A lot of guys are too embarrassed to even talk about it, but honestly, this is one of the most common fears out there. I’ve talked to a lot of guys who felt the exact same way, and most of them realized afterward that it wasn’t nearly as bad as they expected.

I think a lot of it comes down to mindset. If you see sex as a “performance,” you’re putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. The reality is, sex is a two-way thing. It’s about connection, pleasure, and having fun. Even if you finish quickly, that doesn’t mean the whole experience is over. You can always go for round two, focus on other forms of pleasure, or just enjoy the moment together.

A practical tip: Try masturbating an hour or two before you meet up with someone for sex. Some guys find this helps them last longer because they aren’t as sensitive. Another thing is deep breathing—when you feel close, slow down, take deep breaths, and relax your body. These small changes can make a huge difference.

The best part? As you gain more experience, this fear naturally fades away. So don’t stress it too much—just focus on the fun part, and the rest will take care of itself.

[piciossa]

Dude, been there, done that. I used to worry about this all the time, but the reality is, most guys don’t last long the first time. And you know what? It doesn’t even matter that much. Women care way more about how you make them feel overall than whether you last 10 minutes or 30 seconds.

A little trick that worked for me was mixing up my routine. If you always masturbate the same way (same speed, same grip, etc.), your body gets used to that stimulation. Switch it up—try slowing down, using a lighter grip, or even masturbating while standing up. This helps train your body to last longer when you’re actually with someone.

And here’s the thing—sex is supposed to be fun. If you’re overthinking it, you’ll psych yourself out and make it worse. Instead of worrying about lasting long, focus on making the entire experience enjoyable. There are tons of ways to satisfy a woman, and sex doesn’t have to be all about penetration.

Final thought: Your first time is just that—your first time. It’s not going to define your entire sex life. So relax, enjoy the ride, and trust that it’ll get better with experience.