07-26-2024, 03:42 PM
Last September I went to BK. My first trip there was Nov '14, I had the typical night in Bangkok and since then...well everything has changed.
So my my 2nd trip (Sept '15) was made with a deliberate intent for a little BM and I did that, I got a few more runs on the board, making up for lost time, I felt great.
But I came back home with this awful feeling, this emotional lack, it took weeks to shake off. I've since read a few posts about this strange feeling. So i'm kinda glad i'm not the only one. I guess it's a normal come down after a trip like the one I'd had, having a wild time with the Thai ladies, feeling like a fkn rock star, even while back home i'm just a regular salary worker in a office.
I was having a great time, not getting confused with "getting some" and thinking it was something more. But into the last week out of a ten day trip I started running around with a local masseuse. We had a nice time and spent about 4 nights together. It was different from the other ladies I'd met and BF'd. Our time together was more than just a transaction, it was more intimate which was a different experience for me.
We did normal things. We hung out before and after work. We'd do normal stuff like go eat food, shop at the market for snacks, sit around my room and watch TV.
A few mates of mine who have been going to BK for over 10 yrs had prepped me for certain situations. They know that I hadn't had much attention from the ladies back home in a while so I listened to their words of advice.
While I was enjoying our time together in the back of my mind I was being cautious, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for her to ask for money, or something like that. But she didn't.
Don't get me wrong I paid her for the massages and the other things we did together, I didn't over pay or shower her with gifts. I kept things casual, I treated her with respect. I was sweet and kind, boyfriend like I paid for meals and drinks. I kept things straight not looking to confuse her or get the situation twisted.
On the last night i'm all Dorothy like, ready to click my heels together and fly home to the western lands. But then it happened, it was after a wonderful afternoon together where we're snuggling in bed watching tele and then she starts crying.
She's begging me, pleading for me to stay, Stay for another month please, she says.
I tell her straight I can't baby I gotta be back at work on Monday. But the tears still come.
She stays with me until that night, she helps me pack, helps me dress, she's treating me like i'm her man.For me it felt wonderful, being wanted in that way. She waits for me to check out, we kiss, I had a lump in my throat, but it takes some effort for her to leave, but eventually she does.
It felt like a scene from a movie, that might not make much sense, but that's how it felt. Here's my scene, the taxi pulling away from the hotel and somewhere out there is the girl, who doesn't know my email, my phone number or anything other than my first name, who was looking on, watching me go.
I had figured that I could just play my part as a caddish lad and have all the fun I wanted to and then just click my heels together and I'd be home without any melodrama. I hadn't expected there to be any emotional baggage, but boy was I wrong.
When I got home those first couple of weeks consisted of me revisiting this situation over and over. I had been told - Dude it's just a transaction, don't read into it anymore than what it is. But the hangover for me was knowing that it certainly felt like it was a lot more than that. And those tears, well I had a part in that too.
I'm realistic about our situations, looking back I knew that I was always going back to my life as much as she was going back to hers.
I don't know if this is right or wrong but when I go back there in Jan '16 I'm going to look for her.
If she's not there I do have plans they will make for a great time none the less, so my holiday is still being planned for a bit of BM action.
But the thing is what if she is there? and she's happy to hang out, what happens then? Do I GFE her? How does that happen?
While we had a nice time together, I'm sure I could have that with someone else but a part of me wants to explore this, right or wrong I'm going to find out.
So my my 2nd trip (Sept '15) was made with a deliberate intent for a little BM and I did that, I got a few more runs on the board, making up for lost time, I felt great.
But I came back home with this awful feeling, this emotional lack, it took weeks to shake off. I've since read a few posts about this strange feeling. So i'm kinda glad i'm not the only one. I guess it's a normal come down after a trip like the one I'd had, having a wild time with the Thai ladies, feeling like a fkn rock star, even while back home i'm just a regular salary worker in a office.
I was having a great time, not getting confused with "getting some" and thinking it was something more. But into the last week out of a ten day trip I started running around with a local masseuse. We had a nice time and spent about 4 nights together. It was different from the other ladies I'd met and BF'd. Our time together was more than just a transaction, it was more intimate which was a different experience for me.
We did normal things. We hung out before and after work. We'd do normal stuff like go eat food, shop at the market for snacks, sit around my room and watch TV.
A few mates of mine who have been going to BK for over 10 yrs had prepped me for certain situations. They know that I hadn't had much attention from the ladies back home in a while so I listened to their words of advice.
While I was enjoying our time together in the back of my mind I was being cautious, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for her to ask for money, or something like that. But she didn't.
Don't get me wrong I paid her for the massages and the other things we did together, I didn't over pay or shower her with gifts. I kept things casual, I treated her with respect. I was sweet and kind, boyfriend like I paid for meals and drinks. I kept things straight not looking to confuse her or get the situation twisted.
On the last night i'm all Dorothy like, ready to click my heels together and fly home to the western lands. But then it happened, it was after a wonderful afternoon together where we're snuggling in bed watching tele and then she starts crying.
She's begging me, pleading for me to stay, Stay for another month please, she says.
I tell her straight I can't baby I gotta be back at work on Monday. But the tears still come.
She stays with me until that night, she helps me pack, helps me dress, she's treating me like i'm her man.For me it felt wonderful, being wanted in that way. She waits for me to check out, we kiss, I had a lump in my throat, but it takes some effort for her to leave, but eventually she does.
It felt like a scene from a movie, that might not make much sense, but that's how it felt. Here's my scene, the taxi pulling away from the hotel and somewhere out there is the girl, who doesn't know my email, my phone number or anything other than my first name, who was looking on, watching me go.
I had figured that I could just play my part as a caddish lad and have all the fun I wanted to and then just click my heels together and I'd be home without any melodrama. I hadn't expected there to be any emotional baggage, but boy was I wrong.
When I got home those first couple of weeks consisted of me revisiting this situation over and over. I had been told - Dude it's just a transaction, don't read into it anymore than what it is. But the hangover for me was knowing that it certainly felt like it was a lot more than that. And those tears, well I had a part in that too.
I'm realistic about our situations, looking back I knew that I was always going back to my life as much as she was going back to hers.
I don't know if this is right or wrong but when I go back there in Jan '16 I'm going to look for her.
If she's not there I do have plans they will make for a great time none the less, so my holiday is still being planned for a bit of BM action.
But the thing is what if she is there? and she's happy to hang out, what happens then? Do I GFE her? How does that happen?
While we had a nice time together, I'm sure I could have that with someone else but a part of me wants to explore this, right or wrong I'm going to find out.