Bar Girl vs. Hotel Worker: Comparing Relationships and Experiences with Thai Women

[aiden15632]

I've been visiting Thailand on and off for six years, starting on my 26th birthday. Initially, I embraced the typical expat lifestyle—frequenting bars and enjoying casual encounters. However, over time, this routine became monotonous, and I found myself seeking something more meaningful.
About a year ago, I began dating a woman I met during a stay at a hotel. The process was slow—much slower than what I was accustomed to back home, but I anticipated that given the Thai cultural context. Most of our dates consisted of cinema outings and dinners, often ending with just a kiss on the cheek or, at times, a handshake.
I also tried dating girls working at shopping malls. These interactions typically involved a "friend" dynamic, which proved fruitless. Nevertheless, I was willing to invest time in this particular woman because she was beautiful, engaging, and had a great personality.
As time went on, she began asking for money—initially small amounts, but they increased over time. While I had never previously sent money to bar girls (only paying for their services when necessary), my mindset was that, since she wasn’t a bar girl, it felt more like supporting a friend rather than being exploited. She never worked as a freelancer, so I felt this was different.
Eventually, we started having sex, but it was disappointing and frustrating. To add to this, she didn’t drink and wasn’t interested in going out to bars or clubs. I found myself questioning whether it was worth giving money for unsatisfactory experiences when I could be spending it on more enjoyable and fulfilling encounters.
Ultimately, I realized that despite my initial good intentions and moral stance, I could be paying for better experiences elsewhere and enjoying myself more.

[daniel74]

1. Professional Boundaries
Respect the Role: Every individual in any profession, including adult entertainment, has a role they are fulfilling. Understanding and respecting this role is crucial for maintaining professionalism and mutual respect.
Clear Expectations: Ensure that expectations are clearly communicated and agreed upon by both parties. This can help prevent misunderstandings and ensure a more satisfactory experience.
2. Fair Evaluation
Contextual Assessment: Evaluate the interaction based on the context and terms agreed upon. Consider factors like the nature of the engagement and any specific services or expectations set beforehand.
Constructive Feedback: If providing feedback, make it constructive and focused on how things can be improved rather than just critiquing. This can help in maintaining a positive and professional interaction.
3. Respect and Communication
Open Dialogue: Maintain open and respectful communication throughout the interaction. If you have concerns or specific feedback, discuss them politely and constructively.
Understanding Boundaries: Recognize and respect personal boundaries, both physical and emotional. Professional and personal boundaries should be respected to ensure a positive interaction for both parties.
4. Empathy
Understanding Circumstances: People in any profession may have varying circumstances and motivations. Showing empathy and understanding for their situation can foster a more respectful and positive interaction.
Personal Respect: Regardless of the profession, treating individuals with respect and dignity is important. This approach can lead to better experiences and more constructive engagements.
Summary
By focusing on these principles, you can ensure that your interactions are respectful and professional, regardless of the context. Clear communication, fair evaluation, and empathy are key to navigating professional relationships effectively and maintaining positive interactions.

[hilululu]

As noted in a recent previous post, I recently walked the road towards a respectable relationship with a TG. It was with good intentions to find a wife. Beyond the surprising revelations of her present circumstances, I realized some truths about myself as well. I like the whole idea of bargirls and having a temporary girlfriend. For an hour, a night, a week, a month - my choice. At home, I work non-stop for 5 months. I enjoy this; working 27 of 30 days every month. After work, I have further projects at home in which to lose myself. So for the month I come to Th or Dom Rep or where ever, the idea of picking up one or two or three lovely ladies to take care of me is perfect. The great thing about them is you can ask for any kink you want and you will get an answer rather than an attitude.

[johnson13]

A friend of mine had a very similar situation in the Philippines, he did the bars for years and finally started dating a girl who worked in a mall in Manila. He complained about the sex, and after time she started making small money requests, and as her confidence grew she asked for more and more money. he said the sex was bad and he ended up spending a lot on the girl over the years. He did sneak off plenty to visit the bars and treat himself times, but he was felt guilty and uncomfortable about it. So he gave up after two years and went back to just mongering in the bars and was happy again.

[shant234]

For me the moral to the story has nothing to do with the girl. There are plenty of 'normal' Thai girls out there and you can find almost any kind of relationship you want if you want to be in the dating game - funny girls, smart girls, kind girls, grungy, arty, nerdy etc.. I know of western guys who live in Bangkok and have very normal and successful relationships with Thai girls (who don't work in bars), I know at least two guys who get more money spent on them than they spend on their partners.



For me the moral to the story is knowing what you want. Some times you don't know what you want, or are testing the waters. If you really want a relationship you have to go on a few dates, and no when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. You can find a good relationship with a Thai girl if you put the efforts in, but it's best done away from the bar scene. If your priority is good sex and you've got the money, you may as well cut to the chase.