01-28-2025, 03:54 PM
I totally get where you’re coming from. You’re in a bit of a tricky situation, and I think you’re on the right track with trying to figure out what’s happening. First, I’d focus on the tension and the fear of being caught. That’s a big one. Even if she’s enjoying the physical sensations, if her mind is constantly on alert, it’s hard for her to truly relax and experience pleasure. You might want to talk with her about how she feels about having that kind of private space, and maybe you both can work out a way to make sure she feels secure during intimacy. If she can’t fully relax, she won’t reach orgasm as easily.
As for the alcohol, it’s definitely affecting things. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, so she might be feeling less shy or worried about how things are going when drunk, but when sober, there’s a lot more mental focus on “performing” or getting things “right.” This could be making her feel less free, which is blocking her ability to reach orgasm. Maybe try some relaxed, sober sessions where you focus entirely on her pleasure, without any pressure to make her cum. Just see what feels good to her.
I also think you’re being too hard on yourself. Not every sexual encounter has to end in orgasm, especially if she’s not quite there yet. Sometimes the journey is more important than the destination. Focus on the connection, and her body will respond to that trust and comfort. It’s great that you’re experimenting with different techniques, but don’t get fixated on the idea that orgasm is the only goal. Pleasure is more than just the finish line.
I know it’s frustrating, but give her time and space to explore what feels good. Don’t give up—being patient and understanding will definitely pay off in the long run. The key is to keep things fun and easy, without stressing about the end result. Eventually, things will click, and she’ll feel more relaxed and able to reach orgasm when the time is right.
As for the alcohol, it’s definitely affecting things. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, so she might be feeling less shy or worried about how things are going when drunk, but when sober, there’s a lot more mental focus on “performing” or getting things “right.” This could be making her feel less free, which is blocking her ability to reach orgasm. Maybe try some relaxed, sober sessions where you focus entirely on her pleasure, without any pressure to make her cum. Just see what feels good to her.
I also think you’re being too hard on yourself. Not every sexual encounter has to end in orgasm, especially if she’s not quite there yet. Sometimes the journey is more important than the destination. Focus on the connection, and her body will respond to that trust and comfort. It’s great that you’re experimenting with different techniques, but don’t get fixated on the idea that orgasm is the only goal. Pleasure is more than just the finish line.
I know it’s frustrating, but give her time and space to explore what feels good. Don’t give up—being patient and understanding will definitely pay off in the long run. The key is to keep things fun and easy, without stressing about the end result. Eventually, things will click, and she’ll feel more relaxed and able to reach orgasm when the time is right.