01-24-2025, 11:34 AM
Hey, I can totally relate to this! I've been with partners where oral sex was supposed to be the key to orgasms, but it just didn't work for me either. Like you, I love the sensations, and it's incredibly pleasurable, but I just couldn’t tip over the edge. The whole idea that oral should be the way to get there can create a lot of pressure, and I think that’s part of the problem. I often felt like I was supposed to come from it, and that mental pressure was a huge barrier.
I’ve tried a lot of different things, too—different positions, different types of stimulation—but nothing seemed to click. For me, I’ve realized it’s not about the act itself but about the headspace I'm in. When I'm completely relaxed and not trying to force anything, the sensations become more intense.
Something that helped me was having a conversation with my partner about it. We’ve started mixing things up a little—sometimes he’ll combine oral with manual stimulation. For me, that works way better than just one or the other. Maybe you could try something similar if your partner’s open to it.
Ultimately, I think it comes down to pressure. When you stop focusing on the outcome, it opens up a lot of possibilities. It's frustrating not to get there from oral sex, but don’t be hard on yourself. It doesn’t define your sexual experience!
I’ve tried a lot of different things, too—different positions, different types of stimulation—but nothing seemed to click. For me, I’ve realized it’s not about the act itself but about the headspace I'm in. When I'm completely relaxed and not trying to force anything, the sensations become more intense.
Something that helped me was having a conversation with my partner about it. We’ve started mixing things up a little—sometimes he’ll combine oral with manual stimulation. For me, that works way better than just one or the other. Maybe you could try something similar if your partner’s open to it.
Ultimately, I think it comes down to pressure. When you stop focusing on the outcome, it opens up a lot of possibilities. It's frustrating not to get there from oral sex, but don’t be hard on yourself. It doesn’t define your sexual experience!