01-24-2025, 11:28 AM
Hey man, I feel for you. It sounds like you’ve really put a lot of effort into figuring this out. I’d say one thing you might want to try is exploring her entire pelvic area, not just focusing on the clitoris itself. Some women have more sensitivity around the labia, the inner thighs, or even the G-spot area—stimulating those spots can sometimes increase overall arousal and sensitivity, which in turn makes clitoral stimulation more effective.
Also, the way you're touching or using your mouth could be affecting her experience. Some women prefer a soft, circular motion with your tongue, while others might respond better to a firmer, rhythmic pressure. Since your girlfriend has expressed that oral doesn’t bring her much pleasure, maybe focus more on the overall experience, like a slow build-up of intensity, rather than trying to go straight for her clitoris. Changing things up might help, especially if you focus on her being relaxed first.
In terms of toys, I’m a big fan of using external vibrators. I’ve been with women who had trouble reaching orgasm through traditional means, but a vibrator helped them get there. Even if she’s not totally on board with the idea, it’s something to talk through together. Maybe ask her how she feels about adding one into the mix, and if she’s hesitant, suggest using it together so she doesn’t feel pressured.
Ultimately, just keep being patient and understanding. Sometimes it’s not about “fixing” something but exploring what makes her feel at ease and connected to you. Every woman’s body is different, so it’s a bit of trial and error, but with a little creativity and patience, you’ll figure it out!
Also, the way you're touching or using your mouth could be affecting her experience. Some women prefer a soft, circular motion with your tongue, while others might respond better to a firmer, rhythmic pressure. Since your girlfriend has expressed that oral doesn’t bring her much pleasure, maybe focus more on the overall experience, like a slow build-up of intensity, rather than trying to go straight for her clitoris. Changing things up might help, especially if you focus on her being relaxed first.
In terms of toys, I’m a big fan of using external vibrators. I’ve been with women who had trouble reaching orgasm through traditional means, but a vibrator helped them get there. Even if she’s not totally on board with the idea, it’s something to talk through together. Maybe ask her how she feels about adding one into the mix, and if she’s hesitant, suggest using it together so she doesn’t feel pressured.
Ultimately, just keep being patient and understanding. Sometimes it’s not about “fixing” something but exploring what makes her feel at ease and connected to you. Every woman’s body is different, so it’s a bit of trial and error, but with a little creativity and patience, you’ll figure it out!