01-24-2025, 11:15 AM
As someone who’s also demisexual, I completely understand where you’re coming from. Emotional intimacy is the key for me, too. Without it, I feel no physical attraction at all, and even when I have that connection, reaching orgasm has never been easy. For years, I thought there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t relate to the casual hookup culture or even the way most people talked about sex.
One thing I’ve learned is that demisexuality often means approaching intimacy in a way that doesn’t fit the traditional narrative. For example, instead of focusing on the physical sensations, I try to center the emotional ones. When I feel deeply connected to my partner, I notice that the physical pleasure becomes more accessible, even if it doesn’t always lead to orgasm.
I also struggle with masturbation for the same reasons you described. It feels forced and unnatural because, for me, the emotional component is missing. What’s helped me is reframing the idea of “pleasure” entirely. Instead of focusing on reaching an orgasm, I focus on what feels comforting, soothing, or enjoyable in the moment. Sometimes, that’s enough.
Your story reminds me that we need more conversations about how different sexual orientations and experiences shape intimacy. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and there’s nothing broken about you. You’re simply wired differently, and that’s okay.
One thing I’ve learned is that demisexuality often means approaching intimacy in a way that doesn’t fit the traditional narrative. For example, instead of focusing on the physical sensations, I try to center the emotional ones. When I feel deeply connected to my partner, I notice that the physical pleasure becomes more accessible, even if it doesn’t always lead to orgasm.
I also struggle with masturbation for the same reasons you described. It feels forced and unnatural because, for me, the emotional component is missing. What’s helped me is reframing the idea of “pleasure” entirely. Instead of focusing on reaching an orgasm, I focus on what feels comforting, soothing, or enjoyable in the moment. Sometimes, that’s enough.
Your story reminds me that we need more conversations about how different sexual orientations and experiences shape intimacy. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and there’s nothing broken about you. You’re simply wired differently, and that’s okay.