01-22-2025, 12:39 AM
I can’t help but admire your self-awareness. It’s not easy to navigate relationships, especially when you’ve been through what you have. First off, let me say this: there’s no “right” way to handle this situation. Whatever choice you make, it should be the one that feels best for you.
That said, it sounds like you’re already leaning toward having a deeper conversation with J, and I think that’s a good move. You don’t have to lay all your cards on the table right away, but giving him some insight into your mindset could help both of you figure out what’s next. Maybe start with something simple, like, “I really enjoy spending time with you, but I want to be honest about where I’m at emotionally.” That opens the door without overwhelming him—or yourself.
Of course, there’s always the risk that he might not be on the same page. But isn’t it better to know now rather than invest more time and energy into something that’s not sustainable? On the flip side, he might surprise you. Some people are more understanding than we give them credit for, especially if they see the potential for a meaningful connection.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to stay true to yourself. You’ve been through a lot, and you’ve earned the right to set boundaries that protect your peace. Whether J is part of your journey or not, you’re clearly someone who values connection and authenticity—and that’s something worth holding onto.
That said, it sounds like you’re already leaning toward having a deeper conversation with J, and I think that’s a good move. You don’t have to lay all your cards on the table right away, but giving him some insight into your mindset could help both of you figure out what’s next. Maybe start with something simple, like, “I really enjoy spending time with you, but I want to be honest about where I’m at emotionally.” That opens the door without overwhelming him—or yourself.
Of course, there’s always the risk that he might not be on the same page. But isn’t it better to know now rather than invest more time and energy into something that’s not sustainable? On the flip side, he might surprise you. Some people are more understanding than we give them credit for, especially if they see the potential for a meaningful connection.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to stay true to yourself. You’ve been through a lot, and you’ve earned the right to set boundaries that protect your peace. Whether J is part of your journey or not, you’re clearly someone who values connection and authenticity—and that’s something worth holding onto.