01-22-2025, 12:38 AM
First of all, kudos to you for stepping out of your comfort zone and sharing this here. That takes guts, and I hope you realize how strong you are for even considering all these options. It’s clear you’ve been through some serious challenges, but the fact that you’re still open to human connection says a lot about your resilience.
From what you’ve shared, J sounds like a genuinely great guy. It’s rare to meet someone who clicks with you on so many levels. That said, I think the key to moving forward is honesty—both with him and yourself. If you’re genuinely interested in exploring a relationship with him, you owe it to both of you to have an open conversation. You don’t have to dive into all the painful details right away, but letting him know that you have some unique challenges when it comes to intimacy could be a good starting point.
You might be surprised by how he reacts. If he’s as attentive and gentlemanly as you say, he might be more understanding than you expect. Sometimes, people are willing to work through things together if they see the potential for something meaningful. On the flip side, if he’s not open to that kind of arrangement, it’s better to find out sooner rather than later.
Whatever happens, remember that your needs and boundaries are valid. Don’t let fear of losing him push you into a situation that feels uncomfortable or forced. The right person will respect your journey and meet you where you are. And even if J isn’t that person, there’s someone out there who will be.
From what you’ve shared, J sounds like a genuinely great guy. It’s rare to meet someone who clicks with you on so many levels. That said, I think the key to moving forward is honesty—both with him and yourself. If you’re genuinely interested in exploring a relationship with him, you owe it to both of you to have an open conversation. You don’t have to dive into all the painful details right away, but letting him know that you have some unique challenges when it comes to intimacy could be a good starting point.
You might be surprised by how he reacts. If he’s as attentive and gentlemanly as you say, he might be more understanding than you expect. Sometimes, people are willing to work through things together if they see the potential for something meaningful. On the flip side, if he’s not open to that kind of arrangement, it’s better to find out sooner rather than later.
Whatever happens, remember that your needs and boundaries are valid. Don’t let fear of losing him push you into a situation that feels uncomfortable or forced. The right person will respect your journey and meet you where you are. And even if J isn’t that person, there’s someone out there who will be.