01-22-2025, 12:38 AM
I just wanted to say thank you for being brave enough to share your story. It sounds like you're navigating a really tricky situation, and you're doing it with a lot of self-awareness. First off, there's nothing wrong with how you're feeling. Our experiences shape us in ways we can't always control, and it's completely okay to set boundaries that protect your peace of mind. It’s also refreshing to see someone thinking through a relationship so thoroughly, considering both their own needs and those of the other person.
That being said, I think you’re at a bit of a crossroads. J clearly enjoys your company, and it sounds like you enjoy his too. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that open communication can work wonders in situations like this. Maybe you don’t need to spell out every detail of your past right away, but being honest about what you’re looking for in the relationship could set a good foundation. Let him know you value his friendship and enjoy spending time with him, but you have certain reservations about romantic or physical relationships.
You might be surprised how he reacts. He could be open to a relationship that doesn’t revolve around sex, or he might need time to think about it. Either way, it’ll give you both clarity. I know it’s scary to have that conversation, but it beats living in uncertainty. And if he isn’t willing to stick around after learning more about where you’re coming from, it’s better to know sooner rather than later.
Remember, you deserve a connection that respects your boundaries and helps you feel safe. It’s okay to take your time figuring this out. Whatever you decide, it’s clear you’re approaching it with a lot of thought and care, which is more than most people can say.
That being said, I think you’re at a bit of a crossroads. J clearly enjoys your company, and it sounds like you enjoy his too. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that open communication can work wonders in situations like this. Maybe you don’t need to spell out every detail of your past right away, but being honest about what you’re looking for in the relationship could set a good foundation. Let him know you value his friendship and enjoy spending time with him, but you have certain reservations about romantic or physical relationships.
You might be surprised how he reacts. He could be open to a relationship that doesn’t revolve around sex, or he might need time to think about it. Either way, it’ll give you both clarity. I know it’s scary to have that conversation, but it beats living in uncertainty. And if he isn’t willing to stick around after learning more about where you’re coming from, it’s better to know sooner rather than later.
Remember, you deserve a connection that respects your boundaries and helps you feel safe. It’s okay to take your time figuring this out. Whatever you decide, it’s clear you’re approaching it with a lot of thought and care, which is more than most people can say.