01-22-2025, 12:36 AM
My situation isn’t exactly the same, but the part about feeling like sex has become a chore for your partner? I know that all too well. My ex-wife and I struggled with this for years, and I used to feel like I was the only one trying to keep the flame alive. It wore me down.
One thing I learned from that experience is that resentment builds quietly until it explodes. I spent so much time focusing on trying to fix things in the bedroom that I forgot to look at the bigger picture. It wasn’t just about sex for her—there were deeper emotional and physical issues she was dealing with that we never fully addressed.
You mentioned her painful periods and her struggle with masturbation, and I think that’s key. If her body is working against her, then sex probably feels like climbing a mountain for her every single time. I know it’s hard, but have you tried sitting down with her and asking what intimacy would look like for her without focusing on sex? Maybe there’s something she hasn’t shared yet that could change things.
Also, don’t beat yourself up for noticing other women. It’s human nature to compare, especially when you’re not feeling fulfilled. Just make sure it doesn’t distract you from the relationship you’ve built. If you’re still invested in this marriage, then you’ve got to keep fighting for it. She’s lucky to have someone who cares as much as you do.
One thing I learned from that experience is that resentment builds quietly until it explodes. I spent so much time focusing on trying to fix things in the bedroom that I forgot to look at the bigger picture. It wasn’t just about sex for her—there were deeper emotional and physical issues she was dealing with that we never fully addressed.
You mentioned her painful periods and her struggle with masturbation, and I think that’s key. If her body is working against her, then sex probably feels like climbing a mountain for her every single time. I know it’s hard, but have you tried sitting down with her and asking what intimacy would look like for her without focusing on sex? Maybe there’s something she hasn’t shared yet that could change things.
Also, don’t beat yourself up for noticing other women. It’s human nature to compare, especially when you’re not feeling fulfilled. Just make sure it doesn’t distract you from the relationship you’ve built. If you’re still invested in this marriage, then you’ve got to keep fighting for it. She’s lucky to have someone who cares as much as you do.