12-27-2024, 01:23 PM
Hey man, I think the most important thing here is the way this situation is affecting your marriage. It’s clear that porn isn’t the problem in and of itself; it’s the way it’s creating distance between you and your wife. From your perspective, it seems like a harmless habit, but for her, it might represent something more significant—especially if she feels neglected or rejected. If you’re spending more time with porn than connecting with her sexually, it could feel like she’s not fulfilling your needs, even if that’s not your intent.
You’ve mentioned that your wife is low libido, which adds another layer to this issue. If she’s only interested in sex 2-3 times a month, it’s easy to see why you’d turn to porn to fill the gap. But it sounds like what you really need is more intimacy—more connection, not just in bed, but emotionally as well. Maybe the focus should shift from “how often do we have sex” to “how connected do we feel?”
If the issue is mainly about quick masturbation, I’d say there are definitely ways to work on it without cutting it out entirely. Have you tried exploring new forms of sexual connection that don’t rely on porn, but still give you the release you need? Maybe mutual masturbation, different kinds of foreplay, or just finding ways to introduce novelty into your sex life could help. That way, you don’t need porn as a crutch.
Therapy could help both of you understand each other’s needs and find ways to communicate openly. You don’t have to abandon your own sexual habits, but it’s important to find a way to prioritize your relationship. Being honest about how this habit is affecting your connection is the first step in solving the issue.
You’ve mentioned that your wife is low libido, which adds another layer to this issue. If she’s only interested in sex 2-3 times a month, it’s easy to see why you’d turn to porn to fill the gap. But it sounds like what you really need is more intimacy—more connection, not just in bed, but emotionally as well. Maybe the focus should shift from “how often do we have sex” to “how connected do we feel?”
If the issue is mainly about quick masturbation, I’d say there are definitely ways to work on it without cutting it out entirely. Have you tried exploring new forms of sexual connection that don’t rely on porn, but still give you the release you need? Maybe mutual masturbation, different kinds of foreplay, or just finding ways to introduce novelty into your sex life could help. That way, you don’t need porn as a crutch.
Therapy could help both of you understand each other’s needs and find ways to communicate openly. You don’t have to abandon your own sexual habits, but it’s important to find a way to prioritize your relationship. Being honest about how this habit is affecting your connection is the first step in solving the issue.