12-27-2024, 12:41 PM
Hey man, I can definitely understand where you're coming from. It sounds like you’ve been trying to balance your own sexual needs with your relationship, and that’s not always easy. The first thing I’ll say is that it’s good that you’re willing to talk about it and seek help from a sex addiction counselor. Even if you don’t think it’s a full-blown addiction, the fact that it’s causing problems in your relationship suggests it’s worth addressing.
I think a big part of the issue is that your wife has her own feelings about porn and intimacy. If her libido is low, it can create a difficult dynamic where one partner feels disconnected from the other sexually. For you, the idea of using porn as a supplement to your sexual life might seem harmless, but for her, it could feel like a form of rejection or a signal that she’s not enough. If you can find a way to build more intimacy together outside of just the physical act of sex, it might help.
That being said, you’re also right to acknowledge that masturbation is a natural part of your routine, and it’s understandable that you would want to continue that. The real question is whether it’s affecting the emotional side of your relationship. Maybe part of the counseling can help you find ways to reduce your reliance on porn for masturbation, or at least address the underlying dynamics in your sex life that might be contributing to your need for it.
I think it’s important that you keep up the communication with your wife. It sounds like you’re both in a tough spot, but if you’re both open about what you need, it might help find a middle ground. This doesn’t have to be all or nothing, but finding a balance between your sexual needs and the emotional connection with your wife is key.
I think a big part of the issue is that your wife has her own feelings about porn and intimacy. If her libido is low, it can create a difficult dynamic where one partner feels disconnected from the other sexually. For you, the idea of using porn as a supplement to your sexual life might seem harmless, but for her, it could feel like a form of rejection or a signal that she’s not enough. If you can find a way to build more intimacy together outside of just the physical act of sex, it might help.
That being said, you’re also right to acknowledge that masturbation is a natural part of your routine, and it’s understandable that you would want to continue that. The real question is whether it’s affecting the emotional side of your relationship. Maybe part of the counseling can help you find ways to reduce your reliance on porn for masturbation, or at least address the underlying dynamics in your sex life that might be contributing to your need for it.
I think it’s important that you keep up the communication with your wife. It sounds like you’re both in a tough spot, but if you’re both open about what you need, it might help find a middle ground. This doesn’t have to be all or nothing, but finding a balance between your sexual needs and the emotional connection with your wife is key.