12-27-2024, 12:39 PM
I can really relate to your desire to change things, and I want to assure you that you're not alone in feeling this way. Many people have complex fantasies that don’t align with what they want in their real-life relationships. You’re already on the right path by acknowledging it and trying to work through it. It’s important to remember that what turns you on in fantasy doesn't necessarily define who you are as a person or as a partner.
A lot of people get caught up in thinking they’re “wrong” for having certain fantasies, but in reality, the mind is a complicated thing. Sexual fantasies often stem from deeper psychological or emotional sources. That’s why working with a professional, like a sex therapist, can be so beneficial. They can help you understand where these fantasies come from and how to reframe them in a healthier way, so they don’t negatively impact your emotional connections with others.
Talking to your partner about your feelings when the time feels right is important, but don’t feel pressured to have the conversation right away. It’s totally normal to feel unsure about how much to share. The goal should be to build trust and intimacy gradually, focusing on what makes you both feel loved and respected. You can start by exploring intimacy that is grounded in affection, mutual respect, and emotional connection.
The most important thing is to be kind to yourself. Changing sexual preferences or shifting the way you experience arousal takes time and self-compassion. Focus on the progress you’re making and the steps you’re taking to align your desires with the kind of relationship you want. You’re on a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time.
A lot of people get caught up in thinking they’re “wrong” for having certain fantasies, but in reality, the mind is a complicated thing. Sexual fantasies often stem from deeper psychological or emotional sources. That’s why working with a professional, like a sex therapist, can be so beneficial. They can help you understand where these fantasies come from and how to reframe them in a healthier way, so they don’t negatively impact your emotional connections with others.
Talking to your partner about your feelings when the time feels right is important, but don’t feel pressured to have the conversation right away. It’s totally normal to feel unsure about how much to share. The goal should be to build trust and intimacy gradually, focusing on what makes you both feel loved and respected. You can start by exploring intimacy that is grounded in affection, mutual respect, and emotional connection.
The most important thing is to be kind to yourself. Changing sexual preferences or shifting the way you experience arousal takes time and self-compassion. Focus on the progress you’re making and the steps you’re taking to align your desires with the kind of relationship you want. You’re on a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time.