12-22-2024, 03:08 AM
I’ve been in a similar situation, and it’s tough. I’m also someone who loves to give, especially when it comes to making my partner feel special. I think there’s a lot of beauty in being that selfless lover who wants to see their partner happy. However, it’s easy to forget that a healthy sexual relationship isn’t just about giving—it’s about sharing that experience and enjoying each other’s company. I think the key here is to find a balance where both people feel seen and valued, not just in the giving sense but in the receiving as well.
For me, the issue wasn’t just physical but psychological. I had a hard time letting go of control when it came to receiving, so I unintentionally made my partner feel like her efforts were wasted. What helped us was actually having an open and honest conversation about how we both felt. She explained that she wanted to feel like I was just as invested in pleasing her as she was in pleasing me. I realized that being a giver didn’t mean I had to neglect my own needs or make her feel like her efforts were unappreciated.
One thing that really helped was focusing on building up the emotional aspect of our connection. I started to make more of an effort to show appreciation for everything she did, not just in bed but in other aspects of the relationship. I also tried to be more present and emotionally available during intimate moments. It wasn’t about just receiving pleasure, but about sharing the experience, which helped us both feel more connected.
Have you talked to her about how you’re feeling? It sounds like you really care about her, and I think if you’re able to open up about your personal struggles—like your lack of enthusiasm for receiving—it might help her understand where you’re coming from. With time, I believe you can find a way to meet halfway.
For me, the issue wasn’t just physical but psychological. I had a hard time letting go of control when it came to receiving, so I unintentionally made my partner feel like her efforts were wasted. What helped us was actually having an open and honest conversation about how we both felt. She explained that she wanted to feel like I was just as invested in pleasing her as she was in pleasing me. I realized that being a giver didn’t mean I had to neglect my own needs or make her feel like her efforts were unappreciated.
One thing that really helped was focusing on building up the emotional aspect of our connection. I started to make more of an effort to show appreciation for everything she did, not just in bed but in other aspects of the relationship. I also tried to be more present and emotionally available during intimate moments. It wasn’t about just receiving pleasure, but about sharing the experience, which helped us both feel more connected.
Have you talked to her about how you’re feeling? It sounds like you really care about her, and I think if you’re able to open up about your personal struggles—like your lack of enthusiasm for receiving—it might help her understand where you’re coming from. With time, I believe you can find a way to meet halfway.