12-01-2024, 03:08 AM
I think the biggest takeaway from your experience is that intimacy evolves over time. My wife went through a phase where oral sex was off the table too. At first, it frustrated me because I felt like I was losing a part of our connection. But when I stepped back and really listened to her, I realized that it wasn’t about me at all.
For us, the solution came from slowing things down and focusing on rebuilding trust in the bedroom. We started trying new things together—massages, role-playing, even just making out like we used to when we first dated. Over time, that playfulness and exploration naturally led back to oral sex, but it wasn’t something we forced.
One thing I found helpful was introducing novelty without pressure. For example, I’d surprise her with a romantic setting—candles, music, and soft sheets. When the atmosphere felt special and she was in the mood, she became more open to exploring things she had previously avoided. It taught me that context matters just as much as technique.
The bottom line is to focus on her comfort and let her set the pace. If oral sex comes back into the picture, great. If not, there are so many other ways to connect and keep the spark alive. Sometimes, taking the focus off the act itself allows it to return naturally.
For us, the solution came from slowing things down and focusing on rebuilding trust in the bedroom. We started trying new things together—massages, role-playing, even just making out like we used to when we first dated. Over time, that playfulness and exploration naturally led back to oral sex, but it wasn’t something we forced.
One thing I found helpful was introducing novelty without pressure. For example, I’d surprise her with a romantic setting—candles, music, and soft sheets. When the atmosphere felt special and she was in the mood, she became more open to exploring things she had previously avoided. It taught me that context matters just as much as technique.
The bottom line is to focus on her comfort and let her set the pace. If oral sex comes back into the picture, great. If not, there are so many other ways to connect and keep the spark alive. Sometimes, taking the focus off the act itself allows it to return naturally.