12-01-2024, 03:05 AM
I can definitely relate to what you're experiencing, and I admire how open and honest you are about this issue. It’s a tough situation, but the fact that you’re actively trying to find a solution shows how much you care about your relationship. I’ve been in a similar boat with my ex, where she would orgasm quickly, and then her arousal would drop off completely. At first, I thought it was a lack of interest in me, but over time, I realized it was more about her body’s natural response after climaxing.
One thing that worked for us was slowing down the pace and adding more variety to our intimacy. For example, we started with activities that didn’t put all the focus on intercourse, like extended foreplay or massages. These helped her enjoy the process without feeling like she had to “perform” beyond her comfort zone. It also gave me a chance to focus on my own pleasure without feeling like I was rushing her.
Another thing to consider is how much pressure she might feel, consciously or not. Even comments from friends or societal expectations about women being “multi-orgasmic” can create a lot of stress. Talking openly about how she feels after orgasm might reveal underlying factors that neither of you had considered. You might discover simple adjustments, like longer breaks or switching up positions, that could make a big difference.
Lastly, don’t underestimate the value of professional help. A sex therapist helped my ex and me understand each other better and gave us tools to navigate these challenges. It wasn’t a quick fix, but it brought us closer and improved our intimacy. If you’re both committed to figuring this out, there’s definitely hope for a better balance.
One thing that worked for us was slowing down the pace and adding more variety to our intimacy. For example, we started with activities that didn’t put all the focus on intercourse, like extended foreplay or massages. These helped her enjoy the process without feeling like she had to “perform” beyond her comfort zone. It also gave me a chance to focus on my own pleasure without feeling like I was rushing her.
Another thing to consider is how much pressure she might feel, consciously or not. Even comments from friends or societal expectations about women being “multi-orgasmic” can create a lot of stress. Talking openly about how she feels after orgasm might reveal underlying factors that neither of you had considered. You might discover simple adjustments, like longer breaks or switching up positions, that could make a big difference.
Lastly, don’t underestimate the value of professional help. A sex therapist helped my ex and me understand each other better and gave us tools to navigate these challenges. It wasn’t a quick fix, but it brought us closer and improved our intimacy. If you’re both committed to figuring this out, there’s definitely hope for a better balance.