12-01-2024, 02:11 AM
I get where you're coming from, and it's not an easy conversation to have. But, from a guy’s perspective, I would really appreciate knowing if there’s something going on that’s affecting our intimacy. Sometimes, we get caught up in the idea of "performance" or “pleasure,” and it's easy to assume that things are going well if there’s no outward sign of discomfort or dissatisfaction. But in reality, it might just be a case of your body needing different types of stimulation or pace. That’s something a lot of men don’t understand unless it's communicated.
I think it’s worth mentioning to him, especially since he’s already asking and seems concerned. He might feel like he’s not doing enough or that he’s not satisfying you, which can affect his confidence. If you can gently let him know that it's not him but just how your body reacts to intimacy, it will take some of the weight off his shoulders. It might also help him understand that it's not about him doing something wrong, but rather about figuring out what works for both of you.
Also, if you're unsure how to bring it up, maybe start with expressing how much you enjoy being with him and how you value your time together. Then, gently bring up the fact that while you're enjoying things, you’re just not able to reach orgasm and you're not sure why. It takes the pressure off of him to feel like it’s all about him “fixing” something. It could even lead to exploring new ways to make things work better for both of you.
I would also add that if it were me in his shoes, I would want to know. No one likes to feel like they’re missing something, and I would rather have the opportunity to improve things together than guess at what might be going on.
I think it’s worth mentioning to him, especially since he’s already asking and seems concerned. He might feel like he’s not doing enough or that he’s not satisfying you, which can affect his confidence. If you can gently let him know that it's not him but just how your body reacts to intimacy, it will take some of the weight off his shoulders. It might also help him understand that it's not about him doing something wrong, but rather about figuring out what works for both of you.
Also, if you're unsure how to bring it up, maybe start with expressing how much you enjoy being with him and how you value your time together. Then, gently bring up the fact that while you're enjoying things, you’re just not able to reach orgasm and you're not sure why. It takes the pressure off of him to feel like it’s all about him “fixing” something. It could even lead to exploring new ways to make things work better for both of you.
I would also add that if it were me in his shoes, I would want to know. No one likes to feel like they’re missing something, and I would rather have the opportunity to improve things together than guess at what might be going on.