11-24-2024, 02:31 PM
I think a lot of us in the demisexual community can relate to at least part of what you’re describing. For me, it’s always been about the emotional connection first, and without that, I just don’t feel the same kind of physical response that others talk about. It can definitely make self-discovery more challenging because the typical ways of exploring sexuality don’t always work.
One thing that stood out to me is your feeling of frustration and questioning if something’s “wrong.” I’ve been there too, but over time I’ve learned that there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to pleasure and intimacy. You might find that redefining what those terms mean for you helps ease some of that self-doubt. For instance, instead of focusing on orgasm as a goal, you could explore what makes you feel most connected to your body and emotions.
When it comes to masturbation, maybe try reframing it as a form of self-care rather than a goal-driven activity. What if you started by simply getting to know your body through touch in a non-sexual way? Sometimes removing the pressure can make a big difference. If typical “sexy” imagery doesn’t do it for you, maybe think about situations or memories that make you feel deeply loved and understood—that emotional trigger might be what you need.
Finally, I’d echo what others have said about seeking support. Whether it’s from a therapist, a support group, or even forums like this one, hearing other perspectives can be incredibly validating. You’re not alone in this, and I hope you find a path that feels right for you.
One thing that stood out to me is your feeling of frustration and questioning if something’s “wrong.” I’ve been there too, but over time I’ve learned that there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to pleasure and intimacy. You might find that redefining what those terms mean for you helps ease some of that self-doubt. For instance, instead of focusing on orgasm as a goal, you could explore what makes you feel most connected to your body and emotions.
When it comes to masturbation, maybe try reframing it as a form of self-care rather than a goal-driven activity. What if you started by simply getting to know your body through touch in a non-sexual way? Sometimes removing the pressure can make a big difference. If typical “sexy” imagery doesn’t do it for you, maybe think about situations or memories that make you feel deeply loved and understood—that emotional trigger might be what you need.
Finally, I’d echo what others have said about seeking support. Whether it’s from a therapist, a support group, or even forums like this one, hearing other perspectives can be incredibly validating. You’re not alone in this, and I hope you find a path that feels right for you.