07-26-2024, 02:30 PM
Thanks kimao for taking the time to respond so thoroughly.
Solid advice and I think confirms that I may have to reevaluate the dating pool I choose from.
To ensure I'm giving as accurate a picture as possible, I'll give some ages no.1 - 23, no 2 - 29, no.3- 26, no.4 -31.
Its not that I'm not aware that I should be thinking in terms of age appropriateness, I haven't dated a girl younger than 25 in the west for years and its simply because I don't find enough in common with the younger ones back in the UK, so I wasn't expecting that the LOS was going to be like waving a magic wand and hey presto, 20 year old intelligent stunners with good english, and similar interests would be flocking to me simply because I'm not your typical farang sex tourist.
As you say learning Thai will open up a lot more options to me and that is great motivation.
I suppose what I was saying is that I thought I was looking in the right pool, 25+ with sensible professional jobs, and I had assumed (wrongly I suspect now) that them having decent English would actually represent a certain level of intelligence and independence simply because they we're in a position to learn English.
I think now that perhaps that same assumption may also lead to a certain level of immaturity as the ones that are in that position may typically have have had more protected and molly cuddled upbringings, where typically they get looked after and as such they have never had to learn the hard life lessons that so often brings with it independence. I also think this ties in with Thai culture, in the UK we all leave home at far younger ages and start looking after ourselves without assistance, while here there is a munch more built in dependency on family whether it be financial or emotional support, and I assume that this also leads to a lack of self development and ideology, hence the immaturity.
While I'm in a position to help financially it kind of goes against everything I really look for in a women, I want someone who knows her own mind, doesn't look to me for her opinions, can hold a conversation of substance and is fully capable of and wants to support themselves.
This quite naturally leads to what do I bring to the table that justifies such a women being interested in me and yes while from a Farang/ homeland perspective I never had any questions over my value (in this sense) here I have to understand that the type of women I'm looking for is probably much rarer on the ground and therefore I'm going to have to up my game (learn Thai, understand Thai culture better).
I think Thai language is going to be essential because as you say there a 5 million women in Bkk and I'm sure that a large % have had to learn to be independent, but they haven't necessarily had any need to learn English (I'm fully aware of the English arrogance in dependence on other countries to learn our language in this statement and one that I thought I was above, but now realise that while conciousely I was aware of it and disagreed with it, subconsciously I was relying on it more than I thought).
Not the worst thing in the world because I'm sure I will have lots of fun on the journey and it should always be an objective to learn in life, nothing good ever comes easy.
Anyway again thank you for the reply and I will bear all the advice in mind.
PS if your gfs picture is in your avatar, who cares if shes 3 years older than you, she has an awesome body, well done!
Solid advice and I think confirms that I may have to reevaluate the dating pool I choose from.
To ensure I'm giving as accurate a picture as possible, I'll give some ages no.1 - 23, no 2 - 29, no.3- 26, no.4 -31.
Its not that I'm not aware that I should be thinking in terms of age appropriateness, I haven't dated a girl younger than 25 in the west for years and its simply because I don't find enough in common with the younger ones back in the UK, so I wasn't expecting that the LOS was going to be like waving a magic wand and hey presto, 20 year old intelligent stunners with good english, and similar interests would be flocking to me simply because I'm not your typical farang sex tourist.
As you say learning Thai will open up a lot more options to me and that is great motivation.
I suppose what I was saying is that I thought I was looking in the right pool, 25+ with sensible professional jobs, and I had assumed (wrongly I suspect now) that them having decent English would actually represent a certain level of intelligence and independence simply because they we're in a position to learn English.
I think now that perhaps that same assumption may also lead to a certain level of immaturity as the ones that are in that position may typically have have had more protected and molly cuddled upbringings, where typically they get looked after and as such they have never had to learn the hard life lessons that so often brings with it independence. I also think this ties in with Thai culture, in the UK we all leave home at far younger ages and start looking after ourselves without assistance, while here there is a munch more built in dependency on family whether it be financial or emotional support, and I assume that this also leads to a lack of self development and ideology, hence the immaturity.
While I'm in a position to help financially it kind of goes against everything I really look for in a women, I want someone who knows her own mind, doesn't look to me for her opinions, can hold a conversation of substance and is fully capable of and wants to support themselves.
This quite naturally leads to what do I bring to the table that justifies such a women being interested in me and yes while from a Farang/ homeland perspective I never had any questions over my value (in this sense) here I have to understand that the type of women I'm looking for is probably much rarer on the ground and therefore I'm going to have to up my game (learn Thai, understand Thai culture better).
I think Thai language is going to be essential because as you say there a 5 million women in Bkk and I'm sure that a large % have had to learn to be independent, but they haven't necessarily had any need to learn English (I'm fully aware of the English arrogance in dependence on other countries to learn our language in this statement and one that I thought I was above, but now realise that while conciousely I was aware of it and disagreed with it, subconsciously I was relying on it more than I thought).
Not the worst thing in the world because I'm sure I will have lots of fun on the journey and it should always be an objective to learn in life, nothing good ever comes easy.
Anyway again thank you for the reply and I will bear all the advice in mind.
PS if your gfs picture is in your avatar, who cares if shes 3 years older than you, she has an awesome body, well done!