Navigating Heartache Over a Thai Go-Go Girl: Seeking Advice and Reflection

[aiden15632]

Introduction:
Hey Bros,
I’m reaching out to share a deeply personal experience and perhaps invite some candid advice or even a bit of scolding. I’m a cynical guy, fully aware of the transactional nature of relationships with Thai p2p girls. Despite knowing the risks, I find myself entangled in a situation that’s causing me significant emotional distress. Here’s my story.
The Encounter:
In December 2016, during my first trip to Bangkok, I engaged in a long-term (LT) relationship with a go-go girl. She was everything I hadn’t experienced before: fun, humorous, fluent in English, and physically attractive. The GFE (Girlfriend Experience) was intense, and I ended up meeting her a second time outside the bar, which was a first for me. Her presence was a stark contrast to my monotonous life, and I found myself falling for her, something I hadn’t felt in years.
The Connection:
We stayed in touch via Line and had regular video calls, which kept me connected to her even after I left. She shared personal details about her family and her situation, explaining that her involvement in the nightlife was driven by financial pressures. She didn’t ask for extra money beyond what I paid for her time and companionship. Despite knowing she had another customer she referred to as her boyfriend, I was deeply drawn to her.
Struggling with Reality:
The more time I spent with her, the stronger my feelings grew. Even after trying to rationalize my emotions, I found myself more attached. I visited Bangkok again in January, hoping that a dedicated four-day visit might help me move on, but it only intensified my feelings. Hearing that she might be getting closer to her other boyfriend and potentially leaving the industry added to my anguish.
The Impact:
The emotional turmoil has affected my daily life significantly. I’m struggling with sleepless nights, lack of focus at work, and a growing distance from my family and friends. The guilt and heartache are overwhelming, and I’m finding it difficult to cope. Despite knowing that my feelings are misplaced and the situation is unrealistic, I can’t seem to detach from this emotional rollercoaster.
Seeking Advice:

1. Facing Reality: How do I come to terms with the fact that my feelings might be one-sided and that the nature of our relationship is fundamentally transactional?
   
2. Coping Strategies: What practical steps can I take to manage my emotions and regain control over my life?
   
3. Ending the Connection: How do I approach ending this emotional connection in a way that minimizes further pain and allows me to move on?
   
4. Emotional Resilience: How can I build emotional resilience and avoid getting caught up in similar situations in the future?
   

Conclusion:
I understand that many might view this as a classic case of emotional entanglement with a transactional relationship, and I’m prepared to face that reality. However, I’m struggling deeply and am looking for advice from those who have been through similar experiences or have insights into navigating such emotional challenges. Thanks for reading and offering any guidance you can provide.

[daniel74]

Great advice! Maintaining a balanced perspective is crucial in any relationship, especially in contexts where financial dynamics are involved. Here’s a bit more to consider:

1. **Budget Wisely:** Track your spending to ensure you’re not overextending yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, but staying within your means will help avoid future financial strain.

2. **Set Boundaries:** Clearly define your limits and expectations from the start. This can help manage both your finances and emotional investment.

3. **Enjoy the Present:** While keeping track is important, don’t let it overshadow the enjoyment of your time together. Make the most of the experiences while being mindful of the practical aspects.

4. **Stay Grounded:** As you mentioned, enjoy the relationship and have fun, but keep a realistic view of how things might evolve. Relationships can be complex, and staying grounded helps navigate them more smoothly.

5. **Reflect Regularly:** Periodically assess your situation to ensure your needs and expectations align with the reality of the relationship. It helps in making informed decisions moving forward.

Enjoy the journey and keep the balance!

[hilululu]

Absolutely, it's a common story, and managing the dynamics can be challenging. Here are a few steps to consider if you find yourself needing to distance from a bargirl or any relationship where financial and emotional elements are complex:

1. **Gradual Weaning:** Slowly reduce the frequency and intensity of interactions. This helps avoid a sudden shock and gives both parties time to adjust.

2. **Clear Communication:** If appropriate, have a candid conversation about where things stand. Honesty can sometimes ease the transition, even if it’s difficult.

3. **Set Boundaries:** Establish clear limits on financial support and other expectations. This helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures you’re not overextending yourself.

4. **Seek Support:** Talk to friends or a counselor who can offer objective advice and emotional support during the transition.

5. **Focus on Self-Care:** Redirect your energy towards activities and relationships that bring you joy and fulfillment outside of this dynamic.

6. **Learn and Reflect:** Take time to understand what worked and what didn’t in the relationship. This reflection can guide future interactions and decisions.

Navigating these situations with care and reflection can help minimize heartache and maintain your well-being.

[johnson13]

I believe you and her are still in the honeymoon stage. Wanting to leave your family to be with a gogo girl who you barely know?! Sounds a lot like your penis talking and not your head. It's lust not love.



Lets say you and her do end up together. She breaks up with her boyfriend and you leave your family for her. But you can't stay in Thailand long term because you don't have the proper visa/job. So you are back in your home country working to save more money to get more experience so hopefully you can land a job in Thailand. All this while, you are sending money on a monthly basis to support your girlfriend because you don't want her to work in the bar but she is going behind your back and is still going to work having sex with other men. One day, she meets another guy who barfines her and she ends up falling in love with this new guy. She tells you it's over, and now you have lost your girl, your money, your family.



My suggestion? Unless you are able to control your head and your heart, don't contact her anymore. Personally I have met many p4p girls who have given me incredible GFEs but I know that the possibility of a real monogamous relationship is slim to non. Sure these type of girls are fun to be with, fun to have sex with. Hell, I see my regular GFE p4p girls very often that sometimes they get in my head too. Bottom line is, she may love you but she loves money just as much if not more.



Take away all monetary gifts/transactions, and see how long she'll actually stay with you.

[shant234]

When you say that she is everything that your spouse is not, what does that mean exactly? I'm guessing that she's a fun, sexy, Thai girl who does everything to please her customers, but I'm sure you saw something great in your boring old wife when you met her too. If things somehow moved forward with you and this girl, then one day she would become a boring old wife also. It's easy to get elated when you meet a new piece of flesh who makes you feel great, especially when you're on vacation and can focus solely on that one person while she focuses solely on you. But if you were to leave your wife and be with this girl, eventually you'd just be going to work and coming home every day and she would turn into a boring old wife as well.



And she's got a boyfriend. I think that tells you a lot about her dignity... She already has a boyfriend yet she has no problem engaging with you on a more than customer level. If you were to become her boyfriend do you think she would suddenly treat you with more respect than him? She might be open about the fact that she has bf because you're her customer, but she is still a playgirl who doesn't respect her BF. In all likelihood as soon as you end your line and voice calls she hops on another line call with another customer.



If it were me, I would look at the possible outcomes of the situation. You keep using the word "Family", so I am guessing that there are kids involved rather than just your wife. If you left your wife to be with this girl, how would your kids feel about dad leaving mom to be with a hooker in Thailand? How would your friends and family feel? If you don't care about all that then no problem.



But if you leave your wife, leave her because you don't love her anymore. Don't leave her because you've been sneaking around with a hooker. Try not to be selfish Imagine if your wife rented a jiggalo and then decided to brush the family off her shoulders because the jiggalo had better dick and a better personality. I can't imagine you would think highly of her....



And also this is your first BF ever that we're talking about. It seems like most of these stories always start with the guy's first bargirl. Thai girls are a breath of fresh air from most of the women that men have at home, so it's easy to see how. But the truth is, she probably isn't special. Don't get hung up on your first BF because there's lots of Thai girls who would show you the same great experience.



If you really are considering leaving your wife and family, figure that aspect of your life out first. Then meet a few girls to broaden your horizons. People don't usually fall in love over a month, especially they've spent like 6 days together total.



You don't need a scolding because you already realize what you're doing is kinda messed up, but don't let a holiday fling with a girl who has a bf and is fucking hundreds of random dudes ruin your family. Figure the family stuff out first if you want out, and then you'll have a lot of leeway to do what you want. And if you don't really want to lose your wife and family, just forget about it.