Turning a Thai Woman from Employee to Girlfriend: Understanding the Dynamics

[aiden15632]

1. Assessing the Current Situation
When considering a relationship with a Thai woman who is currently not involved in the nightlife scene, it's important to understand her background and current lifestyle. In your case, the woman you're interested in has recently graduated and is starting her career in a restaurant, while living with her family. Her family situation appears modest but stable, with financial support from her grandparents and a simple yet comfortable living arrangement.
2. Differentiating Between Employee and Girlfriend
Understanding the Distinction:

• Employee Dynamics: In the context of nightlife or bar girls, the relationship can often start with financial transactions, where the girl might be perceived as an employee rather than a partner. This dynamic is driven by the nature of the industry and the expectations involved.
  
• Girlfriend Dynamics: A girlfriend relationship is built on mutual affection, respect, and a deeper emotional connection. The focus shifts from financial transactions to shared experiences and genuine feelings.
  

3. Building a Genuine Relationship
**1. Developing Emotional Connection:

• Get to Know Her: Spend time with her outside of her work environment. Engage in activities that allow both of you to connect on a personal level. Share your interests, listen to hers, and find common ground.
  
• Respect Her Background: Understand and respect her family dynamics and background. Acknowledge the role her family plays in her life and be supportive of her family-oriented values.
  

**2. Clear Communication:

• Discuss Expectations: Have open discussions about your intentions and expectations. Make it clear that you are interested in a genuine relationship rather than a financial arrangement.
  
• Establish Boundaries: Set clear boundaries and avoid any actions or conversations that could be misconstrued as transactional. Emphasize that you value her for who she is, not for any material support.
  

**3. Demonstrating Commitment:

• Be Consistent: Show consistent care and affection. Actions often speak louder than words, so demonstrate your commitment through meaningful gestures and reliability.
  
• Support Her Ambitions: Encourage her professional and personal growth. Support her career aspirations and be interested in her goals and achievements.
  

**4. Navigating Cultural Differences:

• Understand Cultural Context: Be aware of cultural differences and how they may impact your relationship. Thai culture places significant emphasis on family, respect, and modesty.
  
• Respect Traditions: Show respect for her cultural traditions and family values. Participate in family gatherings if appropriate, and express genuine interest in her cultural background.
  

**4. Avoiding Common Pitfalls
**1. Avoid Financial Expectations:

• Separate Finances from Relationship: Ensure that financial support does not become a defining factor in your relationship. Avoid creating a scenario where financial transactions become expected or habitual.
  
• Be Genuine: Focus on building a genuine emotional connection rather than associating your support with any expectations of affection or commitment.
  

**2. Be Patient:

• Allow Time for Development: Building a strong relationship takes time. Be patient and allow the relationship to develop naturally without rushing or pressuring her.
  

**5. Conclusion: Building a Genuine Connection
Transforming a relationship from a transactional nature to a genuine romantic partnership requires understanding, respect, and clear communication. By focusing on building a true emotional connection, supporting her aspirations, and respecting cultural differences, you can create a meaningful and fulfilling relationship. Recognize that genuine love and partnership are built on more than just financial support, and approach the relationship with sincerity and patience.



4o mini

[daniel74]

If I am in your position, I would 100% encourage her to get a decent job and earn a salary. That teaches her to save money. You giving her money and putting some of it in the bank in no way teaches her how to save money. If that is the case, every time she wants more money or wants that new bag, she will just dip into her savings account or ask you for more. If she was earning her own money, things would be different and you would understand that money doesnt just appear out of no where. Of course, you earning more than her could pay for the meals, rent, etc.



Also have you asked her what she wants? Does she want a job? Or does she just want to live off your money?



I agree with Diabolic in regards to that an allowance is for kids. It is not for a girlfriend or a wife. Why you want need to give her a monthly allowance is bizarre. She is not working for you, you are not sponsoring her. You and her are in a relationship and I would think a monthly allowance is uncessary. And what happens when she runs out of that allowance for the month? You just give her somemore?



Also, imagine if she is stuck in her condo 8 to 10 hours a day while you are out at work. After a couple of months she gets bored, she opens a Thaifriendly account and starts talking to all these guys who hope to fuck her. Soon enough you come home to your bedroom with her and another man in your bed. Might be a bit of an exaggeration but you get the point.



I also get that you would like to go on holiday but her having a job would make things more difficult. But you do realize that other farang-thai couples still do go on holiday despite both of them working right? Relationships are about sacrifices. Are you willing to sacrifice time from your holiday in order for her to work? Or ask her to find a freelance job, or a part-time job. Something that doesnt have such big of a commitment.

[hilululu]

Yeah well, european girlfriends and thai girlfriends are not the same. Love and money is much more mixed up here. If you love the girl will you not support her? Girls here take care of their families (fiscally) more than they do in the west. If you disagree with me on this - or have had totally different experience - maybe stop reading now as we have no point of mutual understanding.



Let's say you take a girl out of the bar on Cowboy. Maybe she didn't really want to work the bar - but needed the money cause was getting pressure at home and had friends in bar etc. She's making a regular salary plus tips. You waltz up to her and say 'hey baby, come be my girlfriend' - what next.... is she supposed to hang out with you watching reruns of Breaking Bad and have nothing to give to family? While you say 'but babe - i'm giving you free food, aircon, and you get to fuck my 45yo handsome self'? I am god! You are in paradise?!

[johnson13]

Maybe she's happier earning a wage in the bar, hanging with her friends and giving her family money - which is why she worked in the first place.



In my case - this girls family paid for her to go to college so she could get a 'good job' (to them).... Then I appear on the scene and wine and dine her. Now that money for education and 2yr of work is sort of wasted. She's my GF, i pay her food and everything.. I don't know if her family ever hoped that she might send money to them from her job or not.. But now they are assured nothing..



She's not a hooker, but she is a potential bread winner for family. Important for folks that don't have a lot - I would guess.


No - i'm not going to let her work a shit job. Like I said - I travel 4 months a year - I'm not going to think about her scrubbing floors while I'm partying in Ibiza - that's just the goofiest advice i've ever heard in my life. Yeah - waiting for her to have 2 weeks off a year to travel is also not my style.

[shant234]

She could earn (after years of working, tops out at..) probably what I spend on 2 ladies drinks a day.. I'm not poor - it makes no sense when my electric bill is 20k a month to have her working for 10k a month.. Just going out to dinner and a few bars would more than pay her salary for a month... Scale is out of whack.



She won't be stuck in condo while i'm working - i own a company overseas - i'm home all day and hang out with her. We have a house and there's always the housemaid and cook to chat with.. She won't be fucking dudes on internet boards.



Anyway - lost cause.