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Monger Planet Mongering Discussion South East Asia Is she playing a game?

 
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Is she playing a game?
aiden15632
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#1
07-25-2024, 03:38 PM
I met a Thai girl on TF 2 weeks ago, and she has two sons from a Thai ex-boyfriend who was physically abusive.

She broke up with him a month before we met and is over him. She had wanted out of that relationship for a while.

She runs a restaurant in Bangkok which is owned by her ex but is run by her, and her ex has his own business. She makes Korean Fried Chicken and makes most of her money from online orders and can get by without the shopfront, which she needs to vacate due to the breakup.

She also lived in an apartment that was leased by her ex, which he moved out of when they broke up. She moved out a couple of days ago and moved in with her father, the sole carer for her two sons.

I must add that up until 2019, she was significantly overweight and looked nothing like she does today. The transformation is astonishing. She went from a chubby housewife who didn't care about her appearance, which most men wouldn't find attractive, to a 45kg petite beauty with supermodel looks.

We met once, and I had to leave Thailand, but we had a strong connection and have had an intense Long distance relationship ever since.

She is looking for a new shopfront because she needs a kitchen, and her father's house doesn't have the location or facilities for running her food business and doing her food deliveries.

She has loans of more than 70,000 THB, and the debtors are chasing her daily. She has never asked me for money and refuses when I offer it, saying we should get to know each other first.

I decided to help her with a 5,000 THB WU transfer two days ago because I see how hard she works, and she does seem genuinely need help. I'm not trying to save her, but I firmly believe that you should help the less fortunate if you are financially capable.

She found a food market yesterday near her home and was going to look at setting up her food business there. I am due to return next month. However, today, she said she could not meet me in May because things have become so desperate that she will have to go elsewhere for work to pay off her loans.

Red Flags and alarm bells ringing, and I knew what was going on. She has never worked in the Sex industry and still has that innocence of a woman who has feelings and will admit she is wrong and apologise when she has done wrong. She cries because she misses me and claims she loves me with all her heart.

I'm smart enough to know that you cannot fall in love with someone after two weeks, so I take that as typical of the behaviour of Thai women.

But here is the deal. I asked her if she was going to work in the sex industry.

This is common for many Thai women who were left with children by Thai ex-boyfriends and suffered severe financial distress. She tried to make ends meet, but the temptation of money was too compelling.

She didn't deny it! She plans to go to Phuket on the 27th of April to start work there. Someone recommended that she try it because she could clear her debts in 1-2 months.

Is she playing a game? The fact that she is honest about it makes me think she is fishing for more money and isn't going to go through with it.

I won't accept that, so I have said my goodbyes. I was looking forward to seeing her again, so I was slightly perplexed by the sudden change of heart.

I only met her once, but it just baffles me that she is willing to give up "the love of her life" so quickly. Worse yet, she is giving up any hope of finding a good man in the future if she works in that industry for any longer than two months.
shant234
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#2
07-25-2024, 03:38 PM
I don't read anything in that which says she gave up "the love of her life". If you think a woman working in a sex occupation means they can't have love, well then.

But, you already said your goodbyes, so this is over. You can't really go back now, the break has occurred. It's over.

What are you looking for from this forum? Absolution?
daniel74
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#3
07-25-2024, 03:39 PM
We have been talking about the future and having a serious relationship. I have had second thoughts on several occasions and tried to break off our relationship because I felt she wasn't ready for a commitment, especially soon after getting out of a toxic relationship.

But she has fought hard to keep us together and has assured me that I am all she wants and that she doesn't ever want to lose me.

She has never worked in the sex industry. I know this for a fact.

I do believe that women that work in the sex industry for three months or more become so hardened that they find it impossible to trust men, but more importantly, to go back to working jobs that pay a fraction of the money they can earn in the sex industry.

It was a conditional goodbye. It is over if she goes through with it and moves to Phuket.

I am trying to ascertain whether she is trying to trick me into giving her money to stop her from going.
hilululu
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#4
07-25-2024, 03:39 PM
Probably not playing a game. But her back story is very familiar amongst Thai ladies following an abusive type of relationship. It’s very common for them to come away from a marriage or relationship with large debt, and nothing tangible to show for the years spent with the partner.
They do follow advice from ‘friends’ on how they can make a quick buck as well. So it’s more than likely she has been told of the relative riches that await her in Phuket - and a quick way of paying off her debts. Some of them don’t like it and return to normal life very quickly, others seem to take to that lifestyle and stick with it.

Up to you what you do - I personally wouldn’t give her money. Sit back keep in touch with her (if it suits you) and see what happens.
johnson13
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#5
07-25-2024, 03:39 PM
If everything you have said about her is true, it doesn't change the fact that she is in a financial hardship. You have giving her no real option: stay faithful to you and continue to be wrecked with guilt of pulling you into her financial hell or taken a stance and working her way out. People often do things they don't want to, but seemingly have to. That is the problem on her table.
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