how to restrain from ejaculating/orgasm

[johnson13]

Hey everyone, I could really use some advice on something that’s been bothering me a lot lately. Every time my girlfriend and I get together and things start to get sexually active, I can’t seem to hold myself back from blowing my load almost immediately. It’s incredibly frustrating, and no matter how hard I try to stay calm and composed, it feels like an impossible task. She’s just so attractive, and her touch alone is enough to completely overwhelm me.

It usually starts the moment she gets close to the area or when her hand slips down to begin—it’s over before we’ve even really started. I’ve tried different approaches to manage it, like thinking about something else or focusing on staying relaxed, but nothing seems to work. I don’t know if it’s purely physical, like hypersensitivity, or if it’s something psychological—like being overly excited or nervous in the moment. Either way, I can’t seem to get a handle on it, and it’s beginning to affect how I feel about myself.

The worst part is that she’s been incredibly understanding about it. She’s kind, patient, and doesn’t make me feel bad, but I can’t help but feel like I’m letting her down. I want to be able to last longer for her, to enjoy the experience together without feeling like I’m rushing through it. It’s not just about performance; it’s about being able to connect with her on a deeper level and take our intimacy to the next stage. Right now, it feels like something is holding me back, and I can’t figure out how to break free from it.

I’ve been reading about techniques to improve control, like the “stop-start” method or practicing Kegel exercises to strengthen pelvic muscles. Some people also suggest focusing on controlled breathing to help manage arousal levels. These sound like they could work, but I haven’t had much luck putting them into practice so far. It’s tough because everything happens so quickly—there’s no time to apply these methods in the heat of the moment. I’m wondering if there are other techniques or strategies I haven’t tried yet.

It’s also crossed my mind that this might be something that improves with time and experience. Maybe I’m just putting too much pressure on myself, and that’s making the problem worse. But at the same time, I feel like I need to take some proactive steps to address it. I don’t want this issue to linger or start affecting our relationship. She deserves my best, and I want to feel confident in my ability to give that to her.

So, if anyone has been through something similar or has advice on techniques, products, or methods that could help, I’d really appreciate it. How do you stay in control when arousal levels spike too quickly? Are there specific strategies or exercises that worked for you? Thanks in advance for any help you can offer—it means a lot!

[hanar123]

Hey man, I totally feel you on this one. It sounds like you're dealing with a mix of excitement and pressure, and that's something a lot of guys go through. The fact that you're worried about letting her down shows that you really care, which is a good thing, but it's also something that can make it even harder to relax in the moment. From my experience, it's all about retraining your brain and body to recognize when you're about to hit that point of no return and having a way to back off.

The stop-start method is a great tool, but like you said, it’s tough to remember when everything is happening so fast. I’ve found that practicing it during solo sessions helped me a lot, just so that I could really nail it when things got intense with a partner. Along with that, I’d recommend Kegel exercises to build up that pelvic muscle control. It’s a slow burn, but over time, I noticed I was able to hold back a lot longer, and the mental side of things became easier to manage.

One thing I also tried was mindfulness techniques. It sounds weird, but if you can stay present and focused on her and the experience instead of getting overwhelmed, it can really help. For example, focus on how she feels, how she smells, or the sound of her breathing—anything that keeps your mind grounded in the moment rather than allowing it to race to the finish line.

In the end, don’t be too hard on yourself, man. It’s not easy, and it’s something that takes time to figure out. The pressure you feel is natural, but the more you work on control, the more you’ll notice progress. Keep at it, and don’t stress about getting it right every time.

[amravat123]

I totally understand the frustration, especially when you know you're capable of more but just can’t seem to last long enough. I’ve been in that same position, and it really got to me for a while. One thing I found useful was working on my mental game. There’s this concept I came across about “desensitizing” yourself gradually—basically, not putting so much emphasis on holding back, which paradoxically makes it easier. I also found that breathing exercises really helped me stay calm. Deep, slow breaths can keep your arousal levels from escalating too quickly.

Along with mental strategies, I also practiced more frequent solo sessions. I know it sounds kind of simple, but really focusing on lasting longer during solo play without the pressure of a partner helped me fine-tune my self-control. Over time, I noticed that the more I practiced, the more aware I became of my body's signals and what I could do to hold back. It also reduced the “rush” that came from just being too eager.

Another thing worth considering is having open communication with your partner. It’s awesome that your girlfriend is supportive, and I found that talking about the issue with my partner made a huge difference. Being transparent about it removes a lot of the mental pressure and lets both of you focus on enjoying the moment instead of worrying about timing. You can also experiment with different techniques together, like taking more breaks or shifting focus, which can make the experience more enjoyable for both.

Finally, be patient with yourself. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress. Every time you work on this, you’re building a better understanding of your body and mind, and that will pay off in the long run.

[deigo123]

Hey there, I’ve been in a similar situation before, and I know how it can really mess with your head. It sounds like it could be a combination of both physical sensitivity and mental pressure. I used to get caught up in the fear of failing, which only made things worse. One thing that helped me a lot was focusing less on the “performance” aspect and more on the pleasure and connection with my partner. If I stopped thinking about how long I was going to last, I found I was more in control of the situation.

The methods you mentioned, like the stop-start technique, are definitely worth trying, but it’s not something you’re going to master overnight. I suggest building up that technique gradually, like practicing during foreplay, where you’re in less of a rush. Just taking your time and not worrying about the eventual outcome made a huge difference for me. I also used the 5-second rule—when I felt myself getting close, I’d take a moment to breathe and then refocus. You'd be surprised how much control you can regain by doing that.

Another thing that worked for me was focusing on my partner’s pleasure first. Instead of feeling like I needed to "perform," I concentrated on making sure she was satisfied, which shifted my focus away from myself and helped me last longer. Plus, it makes the experience way more fulfilling when you can connect on that level.

And finally, don’t forget to relax! Stressing out only makes it worse. Focus on the experience, and let your body find its rhythm over time. It’ll come, and you’ll feel way more confident as you practice.

[piciossa]

Hey man, I can relate to what you're going through, and I know it can be a real confidence killer. First of all, props to you for being so open about it and seeking advice. From my experience, it took me a long time to realize that this is actually a pretty common issue, and you’re not alone in it. One of the biggest things I learned was to take a step back and approach it without self-judgment. The more you try to “force” control, the more difficult it becomes, so I recommend trying to stay relaxed during the moment.

One technique I found helpful was edging—basically getting close to the point of no return and then stopping or slowing down to let your arousal drop a little before going again. It helped me train my body to recognize that threshold and gain more control over time. It’s a bit of a mental exercise, too, since it teaches you how to ride that wave of excitement without letting it overwhelm you.

Another thing I noticed was that taking care of my body in general—like regular exercise and a healthy diet—played a role in my stamina. Sometimes, the issue can be related to physical fitness, so if you’re not already, I’d definitely recommend working on strengthening your core and pelvic muscles. Those small things can add up and make a big difference in your ability to control ejaculation.

Lastly, don’t forget that it’s okay to experiment with different positions or techniques that help slow things down. Every person is different, and sometimes what works for one person might not be the best for another. It’s about finding what clicks for you both. Take your time with it, and trust that with practice, you’ll get better at it.

[antonio123]

I totally understand where you're coming from, man. This is a topic a lot of guys struggle with but rarely talk about. Honestly, it’s a mixture of both physical and psychological factors, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you’re not able to last as long as you’d like. For me, one of the key things that helped was learning how to redirect my focus during moments of high arousal. Instead of thinking about the sensation of getting close to climax, I’d shift my thoughts to something else, like the feel of her skin or the way she smells.

The “stop-start” method definitely works, but the key is to practice outside the bedroom. When I started training my body to recognize those early warning signs during solo sessions, it became easier to apply that control when I was with my partner. Another great technique is practicing breath control. It may sound simple, but by taking slow, deep breaths, you can actually calm your body down and avoid crossing that point of no return. This is especially useful when you're in the heat of the moment and feel like you're about to blow.

I also want to emphasize how important it is to stay in the moment. I used to worry about timing so much that it just created more anxiety and made the problem worse. The more relaxed you are, the better you’ll perform in the long run. And trust me, your partner likely cares more about the connection than the duration.

Don’t beat yourself up over this. It’s all part of the journey, and you’ll find your rhythm with time. Keep practicing, stay patient, and you’ll definitely notice improvement.