Where did my orgasms go???

[daniel74]

For the past few months, my boyfriend has been going through a really tough time. There was so much stress and so many challenges on his plate that sex just wasn’t a priority for him. I completely understood and didn’t push him, knowing he needed time to work through everything. Thankfully, things have finally improved, and he’s back to his old self—happy, relaxed, and in the mood again. Everything seemed like it was going back to normal, except for one thing: I can’t seem to have an orgasm when we have sex anymore.

It’s been two, maybe even three months of this now. It’s not that the sex isn’t good—it is. In fact, it’s great. He’s attentive, passionate, and everything I could want in a partner in bed. I sometimes feel really close, like I’m on the brink of orgasm, but then something shifts, and it’s just gone. It’s incredibly frustrating because I can’t pinpoint why this is happening. It’s as though my body has hit some kind of invisible wall, and I don’t know how to get past it.

I’ve thought about whether it’s something physical. Am I too tense? Is there some hormonal imbalance at play? Or is it psychological? Maybe, on some level, I’m still holding onto the stress from the months when things weren’t great between us. It’s not like I consciously feel anxious or disconnected, but maybe my body hasn’t fully caught up to my mind. I try to relax, to focus on the moment, but the more I think about it, the harder it becomes to let go and just enjoy the experience.

What makes it harder is that I can’t say anything bad about him. He’s an amazing lover—attentive, skilled, and always eager to make sure I’m enjoying myself. There’s no fault on his end, which only makes me feel worse. If everything is so good, then what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I respond the way I used to? I know he’s noticed that I haven’t been finishing, but he hasn’t said anything about it yet. I think he’s giving me space, but I worry that he might start to think he’s doing something wrong when, in reality, it’s all on me.

I’ve been trying to work through it on my own—masturbating to see if I can still orgasm by myself, experimenting with fantasies or techniques that used to work for me. It’s not always successful, but it’s clear that the issue isn’t entirely physical. I think it might take some open communication with my boyfriend to figure this out together. Even though the idea of bringing it up makes me nervous, I know that sharing my feelings with him might help ease some of the pressure I’ve been putting on myself.

So, I’m asking for advice. Has anyone else experienced something similar? If you’ve gone through a phase where you couldn’t orgasm during sex, how did you overcome it? Were there specific things you tried that helped, or was it just a matter of time? I’m determined to figure this out because I don’t want this to become a long-term issue. Our connection is too important to let this stand in the way of fully enjoying each other.

[amravat123]

Hey, I completely understand where you're coming from. I’ve been in a similar situation, and it’s super frustrating when everything seems right, but that orgasm just won’t come. I had a phase a while back where I couldn’t seem to finish no matter how great the sex was. For me, it turned out to be a mix of mental and physical stress. I was dealing with a lot at work, and my body was tense, even when I thought I was relaxed. I had to really focus on unwinding before sex, maybe through meditation or deep breathing. Once I started doing that, things started to change.

Another thing that helped was communicating with my partner. I know it can feel awkward, but if your boyfriend is as attentive as you say, he’s likely more than willing to help out and support you through this. It’s less about him doing something wrong and more about finding what works for you now. If you can open up about the stress and pressure you're feeling, it could relieve a lot of that tension.

I also recommend trying different forms of self-exploration, like experimenting with new techniques or toys. Sometimes the familiarity of our go-to methods can make us a little too reliant on them, and exploring something new can help reawaken that spark. It might be worth trying a few things on your own to see what triggers that sensation again.

Finally, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. I know it’s frustrating, but our bodies change over time, and sometimes things just need a little more patience. You’ll get there.

[deigo123]

I’ve definitely been in your shoes before. After a stressful period in my life, I also struggled to reach orgasm during sex, even though everything else felt perfect. I remember feeling like my body was betraying me, which only made the frustration worse. One thing I learned is that sometimes the stress you’re carrying doesn’t show up as anxiety during the moment but rather in the physical act of sex itself. It’s like your body is still holding on to that tension without you even realizing it.

I tried a couple of things that helped. First, I started focusing more on the emotional connection during sex rather than the end goal of orgasm. When I wasn’t so fixated on "finishing," I noticed that I was more relaxed and could actually enjoy the moment more. It’s counterintuitive, but giving yourself permission to not reach orgasm sometimes can take the pressure off and make it happen naturally.

As for talking to my partner, I found that being open and vulnerable really helped us reconnect. I told him that it wasn’t his fault, but that I was struggling and needed his patience. He was incredibly understanding, and that made a huge difference in how I felt about the situation. No one likes feeling broken, but your partner likely wants to help, and communication can make a world of difference.

Lastly, I’d recommend working on some personal self-care routines outside the bedroom, like regular exercise, meditation, or even therapy if you think there might be emotional stuff lingering from those tough months. It’s all connected.

[hanar123]

I’ve had a similar experience, and I know how frustrating it can be to feel like something is missing even though everything seems perfect. In my case, I realized that the stress from my work life was leaking into my personal life, even when I didn’t feel actively stressed. It wasn’t until I did some deep self-reflection that I realized how much my body had been holding on to that tension. Once I acknowledged it, I started focusing on ways to let go of that stress during sex, like practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques before getting intimate.

Another thing that really helped was taking the focus off orgasm altogether. I stopped thinking about the finish line and started paying more attention to how the experience felt in the moment. Trying to enjoy each sensation, without rushing to the climax, helped me relax and enjoy sex for what it was, rather than what I expected it to be. It’s a bit of a mental shift, but it worked for me.

I also suggest taking a step back from sex if it feels like it’s adding pressure. Sometimes, taking a breather and reconnecting emotionally outside the bedroom can reignite that passion. Have fun with each other in other ways—laugh, cuddle, go on dates—things that can help you bond again without the pressure of performance.

If you do bring it up to your boyfriend, I think it’ll help to make it a conversation where both of you can be open about your feelings. It’s a sensitive topic, but if you approach it as a way to strengthen your connection, it could actually bring you closer.

[piciossa]

I feel for you, I’ve had a similar experience, and it’s definitely not easy to navigate. For me, it was mostly about tension—physical and emotional—that I didn’t realize was building up. I wasn’t aware that the stress from my personal life was so deeply affecting my ability to relax and enjoy intimacy. I started paying attention to my body and realized that I was physically tense all over, especially during sex. I tried doing yoga and stretches before getting into bed, and that really helped me ease into the moment.

Another thing that helped was adjusting my expectations. I realized that I was putting too much pressure on myself to have an orgasm every time. It’s like I was chasing a specific outcome instead of just being in the moment. Once I let go of that expectation, I found that I could enjoy the experience more, and ironically, that’s when I started to be able to orgasm again.

Talking to my partner made a huge difference too. I was scared to bring it up, but once I did, we were able to approach it as a team. He was really supportive, and just knowing that I didn’t have to carry the burden alone helped me relax. He didn’t take it personally, and that made it so much easier to enjoy being intimate without the pressure.

Lastly, it’s crucial not to rush the process. Take your time, experiment with new things, and be patient with yourself. It’s all part of the journey, and sometimes it’s just a matter of time and self-discovery.

[antonio123]

I’ve been in a similar situation, and I know how tough it is to feel disconnected from your body, especially when everything else seems perfect. For me, it was a mix of physical and emotional factors. I was stressed, and I didn’t even realize how much it was affecting me until I couldn’t reach orgasm anymore. I worked on relaxing my body—breathing exercises, some light stretching, and focusing on the moment rather than the end goal. It really helped me let go of that tension and focus on the pleasure.

I also think it’s important to look at the bigger picture. Hormones, mental health, stress—these all affect our bodies in ways we don’t always see. I started paying attention to my overall well-being and making changes in other areas of my life. I also experimented with new things in the bedroom, like different positions, toys, or even different settings. Sometimes a change in routine can help reignite things.

You might want to have that conversation with your boyfriend, though. It’s tough, but he’s probably noticed something is off, and talking about it openly will likely bring you closer. It’s less about blaming anyone and more about working through it together.

The most important thing I learned is not to put so much pressure on myself. Sometimes, it’s just about being patient and letting things fall into place naturally. It’ll work out in time.