Orgasm Trouble After Bad Iud Experience

[aiden15632]

My girlfriend got an IUD last year. When we had sex, the string on the end (used by the doctor to remove it later) poked me in a very painful way. After this happened the first 10 times, her doctor trimmed the string, but it still poked me quite often. Finally, she figured out a way to move the string so it didn’t hit me.

Now, I am unable to orgasm during sex. Every time I start to let go and really get into it, all I can do is worry about getting poked. I thought this would gradually fade, but after a year, it’s still a big problem. Any suggestions for de-programming this fear?

It’s completely understandable that such a painful experience would create an association that’s difficult to shake. Our minds are wired to protect us from pain, so even though the issue has been resolved, the lingering anxiety is your brain’s way of trying to shield you from a repeat of the discomfort. Unfortunately, this natural response can become a mental block that interferes with the intimacy and pleasure you once enjoyed.

The first step toward overcoming this is acknowledging that the physical problem has been resolved and that the string no longer poses a threat. While it’s easy to intellectually understand this, it’s harder to convince your emotional brain to let go of the fear. You might benefit from gradual desensitization—a process where you consciously allow yourself to relax and focus on positive sensations during intimacy without rushing toward the end goal of orgasm.

One technique to try is mindful intimacy. During sexual activity, practice staying in the moment by focusing on your sensations and your partner’s touch rather than anticipating discomfort. Deep breathing can help calm your mind and body, especially when you feel the anxiety creeping in. You can also use non-penetrative activities to rebuild trust and comfort in your sexual connection without any fear of being poked.

Communication with your girlfriend is key. Share how you’ve been feeling and explain that the problem isn’t with her or the IUD itself, but with your lingering association of pain. Let her know that you’d like to work together to rebuild a positive experience in the bedroom. With her support, you can create a space where you feel safe and at ease.

If the fear persists despite your efforts, you might consider speaking with a therapist, particularly one who specializes in sexual health or anxiety. They can help you identify specific thought patterns that are reinforcing the fear and teach you strategies to break free from them. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), for instance, is a common and effective approach for reprogramming the brain’s responses to negative associations.
Lastly, be patient with yourself. Rewiring your mind takes time, especially when the initial experience was painful and repeated. Celebrate small victories as you rebuild your confidence and pleasure during intimacy. With time, understanding, and effort, you can move past this mental block and fully enjoy your intimate moments again.

[amravat123]

Man, that’s a tough situation, and I can totally understand why it’s stuck in your head. Pain during intimacy can really mess with your mental state, even after the actual cause is gone. Your brain’s just trying to protect you, but unfortunately, it’s creating a mental block that’s affecting your ability to relax and enjoy yourself. The good news is that this isn’t permanent—it’s just about rewiring those associations.

One thing you might want to try is shifting the focus during intimacy. Instead of worrying about orgasm as the end goal, focus on exploring other sensations and forms of pleasure. Taking penetration out of the equation for a while might help take the pressure off. Explore non-penetrative activities like massages, oral, or just intimate touching to help retrain your brain to associate sex with pleasure and connection instead of fear.

Another idea is to practice mindfulness during intimacy. This might sound cheesy, but staying present can help break the cycle of anxious thoughts. When you start feeling that fear creeping in, focus on your breathing or the sensation of touch. It’s all about staying in the moment rather than letting your mind wander to the "what ifs."

Lastly, talk to your girlfriend about this. It sounds like she’s already been supportive with the IUD adjustments, and having her on board to help you through this mental block could make a big difference. Let her know it’s not about her or the IUD anymore—it’s just a lingering association you’re working to overcome. Teamwork can go a long way in situations like this.

[deigo123]

I can totally see how that experience could leave a lasting impression. Pain and sex shouldn’t go together, and when they do, it can create a loop of fear and anxiety that’s tough to break. But the fact that you’re acknowledging it and looking for solutions is a big first step—most guys just try to tough it out and ignore the problem, which rarely works.

One approach you might find helpful is gradual exposure. Start slow and rebuild your confidence step by step. Maybe begin with shorter sessions of penetration, focusing on how things feel rather than rushing to finish. Over time, you can gradually work up to longer, more relaxed sessions. This can help rewire your brain to feel safe during those moments.

It also might help to incorporate some relaxation techniques before and during intimacy. Deep breathing exercises or even light meditation can calm your nervous system and keep your mind from spiraling into fear. You could try doing this together with your girlfriend to make it feel like a shared journey rather than something you’re tackling alone.

And remember, this isn’t just about you—it’s okay to lean on your partner for support. Have an open and honest conversation about how you’re feeling. It sounds like she’s understanding and willing to help, so use that to your advantage. Rebuilding trust and intimacy as a team can make the process feel less daunting.

[hanar123]

this sounds like a textbook case of your brain trying to protect you from pain, but in the worst possible way. It’s like your mind has set up a roadblock, and even though the physical threat is gone, that mental block is still there. This kind of thing happens more often than you’d think, but the good news is that it’s totally fixable.

One thing that might help is creating new, positive sexual experiences with your girlfriend. Start with low-pressure situations where the focus isn’t on penetration or orgasm. Think sensual massages, long make-out sessions, or even just exploring each other’s bodies in a relaxed way. The goal is to reprogram your brain to associate intimacy with pleasure, not fear or pain.

You might also want to try visualization exercises outside the bedroom. Picture yourself having enjoyable, pain-free sex, and focus on the sensations you want to feel. This might sound a little out there, but visualization is a powerful tool for retraining the brain—it’s used in sports psychology all the time to help athletes overcome mental blocks.

Lastly, be patient with yourself. This isn’t something that will change overnight, but with time, effort, and support from your girlfriend, you’ll get there. If you’re still struggling after a while, consider talking to a therapist who specializes in sexual health. Sometimes a few sessions can make a world of difference.

[antonio123]

I get why this is such a frustrating situation. Painful sex isn’t something you just forget, even if the cause has been addressed. It’s like your brain is stuck in a loop, replaying that discomfort every time you try to relax. But the fact that you’re looking for ways to fix it means you’re already on the right path.

Have you tried shifting your focus to foreplay and non-penetrative activities? Taking penetration out of the picture for a little while could help you rebuild confidence without triggering that fear response. Think of it as hitting the reset button on your sex life—reconnecting in ways that feel completely safe and enjoyable.

You might also consider talking this through with your girlfriend. Let her know how much the experience impacted you and that you’re working to move past it. Having her on your side can make a big difference. She might even have some ideas for how to help you feel more comfortable and relaxed during intimacy.

And don’t forget to give yourself some grace. Rewiring these mental patterns takes time, but every small step forward is progress. If the issue persists, a therapist could help you work through the deeper layers of anxiety. You’ve got this, man—it’s just a matter of finding what works best for you.

[piciossa]

Hey man, I’ve been there—maybe not with an IUD situation, but I’ve definitely had painful experiences during sex that left a mental scar. It’s crazy how your brain holds onto that stuff, even when the physical issue is resolved. You’re not alone in this, and it’s totally something you can work through with the right approach.

One thing that helped me was building up trust with my partner again. We spent time reconnecting in ways that didn’t involve penetration, and that really helped take the pressure off. It might be worth stepping back from traditional sex for a bit and exploring other forms of intimacy. Things like mutual massage, kissing, or just spending time naked together can help you feel relaxed and safe again.

I also found that focusing on the positives helped a lot. Instead of dwelling on the fear of pain, try to redirect your thoughts to the things you enjoy during intimacy—your girlfriend’s scent, the way she touches you, or the sounds she makes. It might feel forced at first, but over time, your brain will start to replace the negative associations with positive ones.

If this still feels like a huge hurdle, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist who specializes in sexual health or anxiety can help you work through this. Sometimes just talking it out with someone who understands can be a huge relief. You’ve got this, man—it just takes time and patience.