She Just Now Tells Me I've Never Made Her Orgasm

[jonny09256]

Talk about way to kill the mood and ultimately crush my ego. It's very demasculinizing when you're in the middle of making love, and from where I was sitting, I thought this was one of the better sessions we've had together...so far, anyway.
So there's always been this issue we run into a lot of the times we've been intimate. She likes it slow and sensual and not so deep, from what I've gathered over the time we've been together. This isn't verbally communicated ,mind you. I'm just basing my claims off past experience and reactions.
A big roadblock is I go too hard , too deep and she just kind of turns off right away. Like shes in pain, it seems. My thing is, if the stimulation to my penis isn't consistent, my mind tends to wander and I lose interest very quickly, resulting in a less than hard dick.I dont know exactly what she wants or how she wants it or where or when or anything. This information isn't shared with me. I usually get on, give it my best and hope she gets off before I do. That's always the gameplan anyway. Tonight were in the middle of doing it and we stop because I'm hurting her by going too hard or whatever and she chimes in with something smart like "do you know how many times youve made me cum?" I'm curious and inquire and she answers "never"
My blood rushes back into the rest of my body and I am totally dead in the water at this point. I love this girl and that shit isnt easy to hear, especially in the middle of what I thought was a passionate moment
How do i recover from this?

[amravat123]

Man, that’s tough to hear, especially in the heat of the moment. But honestly, this is the kind of wake-up call that could actually make your relationship stronger—if you handle it right. The first thing I’d say is, don’t take this as a knock on your masculinity. Women’s bodies are complex, and what works for one doesn’t always work for another. She might not even fully understand her own body, let alone know how to explain it to you.

You said she hasn’t verbally communicated her preferences. That’s your starting point. After this incident, sit down with her when emotions aren’t running high and just talk. Ask her what she likes, what feels good, and what doesn’t. If she’s shy about it, suggest trying new things together to figure it out. You could even explore resources like books or videos about female pleasure.

It’s also worth pointing out that sex isn’t just about penetration. A lot of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and it sounds like that might be a missing piece here. Don’t be afraid to focus more on foreplay and use your hands, mouth, or even toys if she’s into it.

Lastly, don’t let this moment destroy your confidence. She’s still with you, which means she cares. Use this as an opportunity to learn and grow together. Trust me, if you nail this, your connection will only get better.

[hanar123]

Man, that’s brutal. I’ve been there, and it’s a hit to the ego for sure. But the worst thing you can do is shut down or get defensive. If you love her like you say you do, then take this as a challenge to step up your game, not a reason to throw in the towel.

First off, stop guessing. Women aren’t mind readers, and neither are we. If you’re basing your moves on her reactions, you might be misinterpreting them. Sit her down and ask straight-up: “What can I do to make it better for you?” If she’s hesitant or embarrassed, try to ease her into the conversation by sharing your own feelings.

Another thing to consider: women’s orgasms are often as much mental as they are physical. If she’s not fully relaxed or if she feels pressure to perform, it can shut her down completely. You might want to focus more on creating an emotional connection during intimacy—like eye contact, gentle touches, and words of affirmation.

Don’t beat yourself up over this. It’s not a referendum on your manhood. Look at it as an opportunity to grow as a lover and partner. Trust me, the guys who figure this out are the ones who stand out in the long run.

[antonio123]

Wow, bro. That’s a lot to unpack. First, take a deep breath and remember that this isn’t the end of the world. The fact that she opened up to you, even if it wasn’t in the best way, means she wants things to get better. She’s still invested in you.

It sounds like your styles in bed aren’t matching up, and that’s more common than you think. Women’s bodies often respond better to slower, more deliberate movements, especially at the start. Maybe try dialing it back a bit and focusing on her reactions as you go. Don’t be afraid to stop and ask, “How’s this?” or “Do you like that?” during the act.

Also, think outside of penetration. Many women don’t orgasm from it alone. Focus more on clitoral stimulation, oral sex, or using your hands. If you’re open to it, consider bringing toys into the bedroom. It’s not a replacement for you; it’s a tool to enhance her experience.

Most importantly, don’t take this as a personal failure. You’re learning, and that’s what counts. With some effort and communication, you can turn this around and make your relationship—and your sex life—stronger than ever.

[deigo123]

I get it, man. Having her drop that bomb mid-session would throw anyone off. But think about it—if she’s never orgasmed with you, that’s probably been weighing on her for a long time. It might not have been the best timing, but it’s better to know now than never.

Here’s the thing: a lot of guys make the mistake of assuming that what gets them off will work the same way for their partner. It’s not about going harder or deeper. For some women, those things can actually be a turnoff if they’re not in the right mood or if it’s physically uncomfortable. She might be more into rhythm, teasing, or a buildup of sensations.

The fact that you don’t know exactly what she wants is part of the problem, but it’s also an opportunity. Sit down and say, “I really want to make this work for you. Help me understand what you need.” If she doesn’t know how to express it, suggest experimenting together. Turn it into a fun, non-judgmental exploration.

Finally, remember that sex is a two-way street. It’s about connection and mutual satisfaction, not just a performance. Focus on intimacy, being present, and making her feel safe and cared for. The orgasms will come—no pun intended.

[piciossa]

Damn, man. I can feel the sting from here. That kind of revelation can hit hard, especially in the moment. But take a step back and think about this: she could have just kept quiet forever and let you think everything was fine. The fact that she spoke up means she wants change. That’s a good thing.

From what you wrote, it seems like your focus has been more on doing what feels good for you and hoping it works for her. That’s not uncommon, but it’s a mindset you’ve got to shift. Instead of focusing on getting her off quickly, make the entire experience about her. Slow down, pay attention to her body language, and ask questions if you’re unsure.

It’s also worth doing some research on female pleasure. There’s a lot of good info out there about how women experience arousal and orgasm. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. And don’t forget: every woman is different, so what worked for your ex might not work for her.

Finally, leave your ego at the door. If you’re serious about this girl, use this as motivation to become a better partner. Trust me, when you finally make her orgasm—and you will if you put in the effort—it’ll be one of the most satisfying moments of your life.