Boyfriend can only orgasm with oral

[johnson13]

I'm new to this forum so I hope I'm in the right place. :confused:

I've been dating a guy for three months and I've never run across a "problem" like this. He only can achieve an orgasm when I give him oral. We've had sex probably a dozen times and only once could he finish during regular intercourse and that was a quickie where he came within like 5 minutes. All the other times, we start off with regular sex, I can usually cum, and then I try to get him to... he can't, so I give him a BJ and he can and has cum every time fairly quickly. Is that odd? I've never had that with any other partners.

I will say this: He is a single, never married, no kids 37-year-old bachelor and I am a 40-year-old, recently divorced, mom of 2. That's a polite way of saying I may not have the ironclad tight hoo-ha he's used to. Could that be what's going on?

[amravat123]

Hey there! First of all, welcome to the forum. You're definitely in the right place, and I can see why you'd be curious about this situation. It’s actually more common than you'd think for someone to have difficulty finishing during penetrative sex, but not with oral. There are a few factors that could be contributing to this. For one, it could be a mental or psychological block; sometimes, people have specific triggers that help them climax, and oral might be his "go-to" stimulation.

Also, don’t worry about the comparison with your previous partners. Bodies vary, and so do sexual responses. You mentioned that he’s 37 and never married—there could be a variety of reasons, including habits or expectations he’s developed over time. I wouldn’t say it’s directly related to the “tightness” of your vagina. In fact, many men struggle with different forms of stimulation regardless of their partner's anatomy.

One thing you could try is talking to him about it openly. There’s no shame in discussing these things. Maybe he feels more comfortable with oral stimulation, and if that’s the case, that’s totally okay as long as you’re both feeling good about the relationship. If you’re both enjoying each other’s company, maybe exploring different ways to switch up the sex life could help. Who knows—he might just need a bit of variety to get things flowing during intercourse.

Lastly, if this continues to be a major issue, you might want to suggest visiting a sexual health professional together. Sometimes there’s a physical issue or simple advice on how to improve things. Good luck!

[antonio123]

Hey there! That’s a pretty interesting dynamic, and I can see how it might raise some questions. Honestly, I think it’s less about you and more about him. A lot of guys have a stronger connection to oral sex than penetrative sex, whether it's due to personal preference or even some sort of mental block. The physical sensation might just be what does it for him. It’s not uncommon for men to have different triggers for orgasm—oral stimulation might be his sweet spot.

In terms of your body, I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself. It’s not about how tight or “perfect” your body is—it’s about finding what works for both of you. It sounds like you two have good chemistry, and that’s what matters most. Maybe try some new things during regular sex—varied positions or more focus on foreplay—before trying oral. Some guys just have a hard time finishing during penetrative sex because they’re used to something different.

Also, have you tried talking to him about it? You mentioned you’re new to this relationship, so maybe it’s just a matter of him getting comfortable and figuring out what works best for both of you. Communication is key, especially when it comes to sex. If he’s open to it, you could try exploring what turns him on the most and see if you can make the penetrative sex experience more enjoyable for him.

At the end of the day, if you’re happy and both feeling satisfied, it’s all good. But if this becomes a real issue, it might be worth discussing with a sex therapist. Some people just have ingrained habits or preferences that take time to change.

[deigo123]

I totally understand where you're coming from, and I don’t think this situation is as unusual as it may seem. Some guys just have a stronger response to certain types of stimulation, and for him, it seems like oral sex is the one that gets him over the edge. It’s not necessarily a reflection on you or your body—he may just be wired in a way where that particular type of stimulation is what works best for him.

It could also be that he’s been single for a while and developed a routine or preference that’s hard to break. Many men, especially those who are not accustomed to long-term relationships, can fall into specific patterns of sexual activity. It’s not an indication of any problem with you—it could just be that oral sex is his comfort zone. And hey, that’s perfectly fine if you’re both happy with it.

If it’s something that bothers you or makes you feel insecure, though, it might be worth having an open conversation. Sometimes guys don’t even realize how their sexual patterns are affecting the relationship. Let him know how you’re feeling and ask if he’s open to experimenting with different types of sex to see what works. Maybe he’ll open up about his preferences and you can explore new ways to satisfy each other.

Also, there’s no harm in experimenting with different techniques or even talking about whether he’s okay with the idea of seeking advice from a professional if this becomes a sticking point. But I wouldn’t stress too much—it seems like this is more of a personal quirk than a reflection of any deep issue.

[hanar123]

Hey, welcome to the forum! I think you’re asking a really valid question here, and honestly, it’s not all that uncommon. It seems like he has a specific preference when it comes to climaxing, and for a lot of men, oral sex is just a more intense or reliable way to orgasm. It doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with your sex life or that you're not doing things right. Sometimes, certain kinds of stimulation just work better for some guys.

Also, it might be a matter of what he’s used to. If he’s been single for a while, he might have developed a specific routine with how he gets off, and that’s hard to break. It’s like when someone’s been doing something the same way for a long time—it can take some time to rewire how they approach sex. It’s not about your body being “tight” or anything like that. You’re definitely not the issue here!

One suggestion would be to have an honest chat with him about how you’re feeling. There’s no harm in expressing your thoughts—he may not even be aware of how it’s affecting you. If you both are comfortable talking about it, you can work together to figure out how to make sex more satisfying for both of you. Who knows, maybe he’ll open up about why oral works better and whether there’s something specific he enjoys about it.

And hey, it’s totally fine if he needs a bit more time to adjust to different forms of sexual pleasure. Just stay patient and open to experimenting. Relationships are about finding what works for both partners, so with some effort, you’ll figure it out together.

[piciossa]

This is definitely an interesting situation, and I can see why you’re wondering what’s going on. It sounds like your boyfriend might just have a strong preference for oral sex, and honestly, that’s not as rare as it might seem. Some guys just find it easier to climax with oral stimulation, especially if they’re used to it or if it gives them a more intense feeling. It’s not a reflection of your body or how “tight” you are—it’s just his personal response to different types of stimulation.

It’s also worth considering that he’s been single for a while, and sometimes, when guys are solo, they develop particular habits or routines that are hard to break. If he’s used to getting off only with oral, it could take a bit more time for him to feel comfortable or stimulated enough during regular sex. This doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either of you; it’s just one of those quirks that can happen.

It might help to have an open conversation with him about it. Talk about what you both enjoy and what makes you feel good. The more comfortable you are discussing sexual preferences, the more likely you are to find a solution that works for both of you. Maybe he’ll realize he needs to explore some new things, or maybe he just needs more time to adapt to your specific dynamics.

And lastly, if this continues to be a sticking point and you both feel like it’s affecting your intimacy, it could be a good idea to seek some advice from a professional. But if everything else in the relationship is solid and you both enjoy being together, just keep exploring and communicating!