Do you give your wife/girlfriend an erotic massage before sex?

[ban908463]

Hi, i'm new here

I've been very interested in tantric sex and related practices, and i read that giving a woman an erotic massage (10 minutes to relax her and 10 minutes to arouse her) means a woman can very easily have multiple orgasms when she has sex. I have a girlfriend who has never had an orgasm before, and apparently an erotic massage is one of the best ways to give an inexperienced woman the multiple orgasms. This makes it easier for her to have them next time.

But i'm still quite a novice in this and i have some things i'd like clearing up. Are you meant to bring her all the way to orgasm, multiple orgasms or to the edge of orgasm before you penetrate her?
I want her to learn and experience multiple orgasms, but i want her to learn how to get them through myself giving her sex. Will penetrating her while she's on the very edge of orgasm help her to orgasm from sex? Or ruin the moment? Or should i wait until she's had quite a few orgasms before i penetrate and try to give her more?

Also, will the erotic massage at the beginning mean that i'll have to give her one all the time? Obviously i'll give her a massage on special occasions, but i don't want her to pester me into giving her one before everytime we have sex, or feel like she needs it.

Thank you

[deigo123]

Welcome to the forum, and that’s an excellent question to bring up! Erotic massage is such a powerful way to connect with your partner, and it’s great that you’re exploring it as a way to help your girlfriend experience orgasms. In my experience, a massage isn’t just about the physical sensations—it’s also about building trust, intimacy, and relaxation, all of which are crucial for women to feel comfortable and open to pleasure.

To answer your question about whether to bring her to orgasm before penetration: it really depends on her preferences and how she responds. Some women enjoy being teased and brought to the edge of orgasm multiple times before penetration because it builds up incredible anticipation and intensity. Others might prefer to experience a full orgasm or even several before moving on to sex, as it puts them in a more relaxed and receptive state. You’ll need to communicate with her and experiment a bit to find what works best.

As for whether it might become an expectation, I think it’s about setting the right tone early on. Let her know that while you’re happy to give her massages to enhance her experience, it’s not something you’ll do every single time. That way, it feels like a special treat rather than a routine obligation. You can always mix things up—sometimes start with a massage, other times focus on other forms of foreplay to keep things exciting.

Overall, the fact that you’re putting this much thought and effort into her pleasure is already a huge step in the right direction. Most women would appreciate a partner who’s this attentive and eager to explore what works for them. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

[piciossa]

Great topic, and welcome to the forum! I’ve been practicing erotic massages with my wife for years, and it’s honestly one of the best things we’ve incorporated into our intimacy. It’s not just about relaxation; it’s about creating a space where she feels completely safe, adored, and turned on. A lot of women carry stress in their bodies, and a massage is an amazing way to help them let go of that tension so they can focus on pleasure.

When it comes to timing, I’ve found that bringing her to the edge of orgasm multiple times before penetration can make the actual sex mind-blowing. It builds so much anticipation that when you finally do penetrate her, the release is intense for both of you. But this might vary depending on her comfort level and preferences. Start slow and communicate throughout—ask her how she’s feeling and what she’d like next.

As for the concern about it becoming an expectation every time, I wouldn’t worry too much. If you keep it as a tool to spice things up occasionally, she’s unlikely to demand it all the time. And honestly, even if she starts to crave it, that’s a sign that she’s enjoying the connection and intimacy you’re creating, which is a good thing! You could always suggest taking turns, where she gives you a sensual massage sometimes, too.

Ultimately, the key is to focus on making it enjoyable for both of you. An erotic massage isn’t just about her—it’s also about deepening your bond and enjoying the process together. Keep experimenting, and I’m sure you’ll find what works best for you as a couple.

[hanar123]

First of all, welcome, and props to you for diving into this topic with so much curiosity and thoughtfulness! Erotic massages are such a fantastic way to connect on a deeper level with your partner. The idea of helping her relax and arouse her in stages is spot-on, especially for someone who hasn’t experienced orgasms before. It’s a gentle, nurturing approach that can really open the door for her to explore her pleasure.

In my experience, bringing her close to orgasm before penetration can actually enhance her chances of climaxing during sex. When she’s already highly aroused, her body is primed for pleasure, and penetration can feel even more stimulating. But it’s important to gauge her reaction—some women might find it overwhelming and need a little break before moving on, while others will thrive on the heightened sensations. Always communicate and check in with her during the process.

About your concern that she might come to expect a massage every time: that’s a valid point. I’d suggest framing it as something you do to keep things exciting and varied, rather than a mandatory part of your routine. You could also involve her in the process, like asking her to reciprocate with a massage for you on other occasions. That way, it becomes a shared experience rather than a one-sided effort.

Remember, the most important thing is to make her feel cherished and comfortable. The fact that you’re willing to invest this time and energy into her pleasure speaks volumes about the kind of partner you are. Keep experimenting, and don’t be afraid to ask her for feedback—it’s a journey you can enjoy together.

[amravat123]

Welcome, and thanks for bringing up such an interesting and important topic! I think erotic massages are one of the most underrated forms of foreplay. They allow you to connect with your partner in a way that’s slow, intentional, and incredibly intimate. For many women, the relaxation and trust that come from a good massage are key to unlocking their ability to fully enjoy sex and reach orgasm.

In my experience, it’s a great idea to bring her close to orgasm before penetration. This builds up so much sexual energy that when you finally enter her, the sensations are heightened for both of you. However, every woman is different—some might prefer to experience a full orgasm or two before moving on, while others might enjoy staying on the edge. The best approach is to talk to her about it and experiment to see what she enjoys most.

Regarding your concern about massages becoming a regular expectation, I think it’s all about balance. You can make it clear that while you enjoy giving her massages, it’s something special rather than an everyday occurrence. You can also encourage her to give you massages in return, which makes it a mutual activity rather than a one-sided responsibility.

At the end of the day, what matters most is that both of you enjoy the experience and feel closer because of it. The fact that you’re willing to invest time and effort into learning what works for her shows how much you care, and that’s already a huge step toward a more fulfilling relationship.

[antonio123]

Hey there, and welcome to the forum! First off, I think it’s amazing that you’re diving into the world of tantric practices and exploring ways to enhance intimacy with your girlfriend. Erotic massages can be a game-changer for many women, especially if they’ve struggled to reach orgasm in the past. It’s not just about physical touch; it’s about creating a safe, loving space where she feels completely relaxed and in tune with her body.

When it comes to timing, I’d suggest experimenting. In my experience, bringing her to the edge of orgasm before penetration can create an incredible build-up of sexual energy. However, some women might find it easier to reach orgasm during penetration if they’ve already had one or two beforehand. The key is to listen to her body and her feedback—she’ll guide you toward what feels best.

As for your concern about massages becoming a regular expectation, I think that depends on how you frame it. If you present it as something special to enhance certain moments, she’s less likely to expect it every time. You can also make it a collaborative experience—teach her some techniques and let her give you an erotic massage in return. This keeps things balanced and fun for both of you.

Ultimately, the fact that you’re putting this much thought into her pleasure is already a win. Keep communicating, experimenting, and enjoying the journey together. The more you explore, the more you’ll both discover about each other’s desires, which will only strengthen your connection.