Not Turned On by Conventional Sex – What Are My Options?

[aiden15632]

I’m a 20-year-old male, and I’ve noticed something about my sexual preferences that’s causing me a bit of concern. While I find myself very turned on by oral activities—both giving and receiving—I don’t experience the same level of excitement about conventional sex, specifically vaginal intercourse. This worries me because I’ve always thought that most people naturally find intercourse highly arousing, and I’m starting to wonder if something is wrong with me for not feeling the same way.


For context, I’m still a virgin, and I’m worried about how this might affect my future relationships and even the potential to start a family someday. I want to be able to fulfill my partner’s desires, and if we decide to have children, I’ll need to be able to engage in intercourse. But without a strong desire for it, I’m concerned about how natural and fulfilling that experience could be for both of us.


Is it normal to have a strong preference for one type of sexual activity over another? And if so, how do I handle it, especially when it comes to making my partner feel desired and satisfied? I’d really appreciate any insights from others who have faced similar preferences, whether male or female, and found ways to make it work in their relationships.


I’ve thought about ways to cultivate a more positive mindset toward conventional sex, perhaps by focusing on the emotional connection it brings or by exploring different methods that might make it feel more enjoyable. I’m open to ideas, especially if anyone has experience in broadening their preferences or finding ways to meet their partner’s needs while staying true to their own.


Ultimately, I want to ensure that my future relationships are fulfilling, both emotionally and physically, for my partner and me. I’d love to hear any tips, advice, or personal stories that could help me feel more comfortable with my preferences and learn how to navigate them in a healthy way.

[amravat123]

Hey man, first of all, nothing’s wrong with you. Preferences vary widely, and a lot of people are in relationships where they enjoy certain activities over others. Some might not be as into conventional sex, and that’s totally normal. You’re young, so it's possible you just haven’t explored enough to find what excites you or to feel comfortable with everything. Your interest in oral activities shows you’re sexually inclined; it's just a matter of learning what truly turns you on in all areas.

A lot of people focus on what feels natural over what they think should feel exciting. You’re already a step ahead by knowing what brings you pleasure. When the time comes, communicating with your partner about your preferences will be key. You might find that they appreciate other types of intimacy too and are open to finding ways to make the experience enjoyable for both of you. Relationships thrive on honesty, especially when it comes to intimacy.

Over time, you may find that conventional sex becomes more appealing once you’re comfortable with your partner. Emotional connection can play a big role in heightening arousal, especially if you’re more in tune with the emotional side of intimacy. Don’t stress about this; preferences can evolve. For now, focus on understanding what excites you, and the rest will follow naturally.

Remember, fulfillment in a relationship goes beyond just one form of intimacy. The key is to be open, both with yourself and your future partners. You’re already on the right track by wanting to learn more and keep an open mind

[hanar123]

I think it’s pretty insightful that you’ve already identified what you like and are honest about it. Sexual attraction and preferences are so personal, and there’s no universal rule for what should turn someone on. For example, I used to feel uncomfortable with certain activities, but over time and with the right person, I grew more comfortable and even started enjoying things I hadn’t expected to. I think the same could happen for you if you’re open to exploring at your own pace.

Some people are more inclined toward certain forms of intimacy because it feels more intense or connected to them. The fact that you enjoy oral activities might mean you’re drawn to experiences that feel more personal or direct. There are lots of people out there who appreciate a focus on variety and emotional connection rather than just conventional sex. The right partner would be open to understanding and working with your preferences too.

As far as thinking about family or children, try not to stress about it. When you’re emotionally close to someone, intimacy usually becomes more natural. Many people find that their preferences evolve once they’re in a comfortable, trusting relationship. You may be surprised by how things change or how new experiences might open up as you grow and feel more connected with a partner.

My advice is to take things slowly and see where they lead. Preferences can change, and just knowing yourself as you do is a huge advantage. Keep that open attitude, and I think you’ll find things work out just fine.

[deigo123]

Hey, I actually went through something similar in my early 20s. I was really into certain kinds of activities and just didn’t find conventional sex as exciting. Like you, I worried a bit about how it would impact my relationships and even thought there might be something wrong with me. But over time, I learned that sexuality is so varied, and there’s no one-size-fits-all. You’re allowed to have your own preferences, and it's great that you’re exploring them openly.

One thing I found helpful was exploring different forms of intimacy that didn’t feel conventional. This included more focus on touch, massage, and other activities that were pleasurable and intimate but not necessarily focused on intercourse. For some people, especially those who feel more stimulated by specific experiences, finding other forms of closeness can be more satisfying.

Don’t forget that intimacy can be about connection as much as physical attraction. When you find someone who you genuinely connect with, it’s likely that you’ll want to make them feel desired in multiple ways. Communication and openness are key. If you express your feelings honestly, a good partner will understand and work with you to find a fulfilling balance.

Ultimately, don't stress too much. It’s okay to have your own preferences, and you’re young, so your interests may expand over time. Keep an open mind and stay true to yourself, and I think you’ll find your way in your own time.

[antonio123]

Honestly, I think it’s great that you know what you like and are questioning things in a healthy way. Everyone’s sexual preferences are unique, and society puts a lot of pressure on what we ‘should’ like. But not being as into conventional sex doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. Some people find they have a stronger desire for specific activities because it’s what feels most enjoyable to them, and there’s no shame in that.

You’re still discovering yourself, and that’s perfectly normal. Many people find their interests change with the right partner or as they have different experiences. Some partners might really appreciate that you’re interested in other forms of pleasure, like oral activities. Not everyone is into conventional sex in the same way, and plenty of people are willing to explore intimacy in various ways.

If family planning is something on your mind, rest assured that when the time comes, you’ll likely feel a natural attraction to the person you want to share that experience with. For many people, feelings can shift with emotional closeness, and things that once seemed unexciting can start to feel very different.

My advice? Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to meet societal expectations. Find someone who’s open to different forms of intimacy and willing to work with your preferences. Relationships are about finding what’s fulfilling for both people, and there’s always a way to make it work.

[piciossa]

there’s definitely nothing wrong with what you’re experiencing. Sexuality is incredibly diverse, and not everyone feels the same way about different types of intimacy. Some people just naturally gravitate toward certain acts over others, and that’s totally okay. Preferences can be shaped by a lot of things, including comfort levels, emotional connection, and personal interests. You’re normal for not fitting a mold, and exploring what you enjoy is key.

From what you’re describing, it sounds like you’re interested in forms of intimacy that feel more direct or connected to you. That’s a good thing! There are many people out there who value a wide range of experiences. You could find that as you build connections with people, conventional sex becomes more enjoyable simply because the emotional aspect adds a new layer. It’s not uncommon for intimacy to feel more satisfying when you’re with someone you truly connect with.

It’s good that you’re already considering your partner’s needs. Open communication is your best friend here. When you’re upfront about your interests, the right person will be open to finding a balance that works for both of you. You might even be surprised by how much partners appreciate that level of honesty. Mutual understanding goes a long way in making a relationship more fulfilling.

So, take things one step at a time. Keep exploring, stay open to learning what you like, and trust that things will fall into place naturally. The more honest and comfortable you are, the easier it will be to build a satisfying, well-rounded relationship.