I need a reality check

[aiden15632]

It sounds like you’ve been through a challenging and emotionally complex experience. Falling for a p4p girl can be particularly tough, especially when navigating the financial and cultural expectations that often come with such relationships. Here’s a reality check on your situation:
You Did What You Needed to Do

1. Recognizing Financial Burden:
   • Realistic Expectations: You’ve come to terms with the significant financial demands that can come with maintaining a relationship, especially in a context where dowries and support for extended families are often expected. It’s important to understand that these demands can place a heavy burden on you, both financially and emotionally.
     
   • Setting Boundaries: Refusing to provide further financial support and the high dowry request is a reasonable decision, especially if it conflicts with your own boundaries and financial plans.
     
2. Emotional Impact:
   • Acknowledging Hurt: It’s normal to feel hurt after ending a meaningful connection, even if it was complicated by financial and cultural factors. Allow yourself time to process these emotions and reflect on the experience.
     
3. Cultural and Relationship Dynamics:
   • Understanding Cultural Expectations: Thai relationships can involve complex dynamics, including financial support for family and cultural traditions like dowries. Recognizing these factors is crucial in making informed decisions about the relationship.
     
   • Evaluating Compatibility: It’s essential to assess whether the relationship aligns with your long-term goals and values. In this case, the financial strain and differing expectations might have been too great to reconcile.
     

Moving Forward

1. Reflect on Lessons Learned:
   • Self-Reflection: Use this experience as an opportunity for self-growth. Reflect on what you’ve learned about your own needs, boundaries, and expectations in relationships.
     
2. Focus on Self-Care:
   • Emotional Healing: Allow yourself time to heal and recover emotionally. Surround yourself with supportive friends and engage in activities that bring you joy and comfort.
     
3. Future Relationships:
   • Setting Clear Boundaries: When considering future relationships, be clear about your boundaries and expectations from the start. This will help avoid similar issues and ensure that both partners are on the same page.
     
4. Learning from Experience:
   • Understanding Cultural Differences: Continue to learn about and understand cultural differences in relationships. This knowledge can help you navigate future relationships more effectively.
     

Support and Validation
It’s okay to seek support from others who have faced similar situations. Sharing your experience with trusted friends or online communities can provide validation and practical advice. You’re not alone in dealing with these complex emotions and challenges.
In summary, ending the relationship given the financial and cultural pressures you were facing was a reasonable decision. It’s important to take care of yourself emotionally and reflect on what you’ve learned from this experience. Moving forward, focus on your own well-being and clarity in future relationships.



4o mini

[shant234]

I'm not really sure what your expectations were when you invited her to drop what she's doing to leave her family at home to come be your pretend gf for 6 weeks? Hoping it'd become serious? Just a travel buddy for 6 weeks?



I've travelled with girls before that I'm friends with still in the p4p world but I always had the personal policy of, no sex, I'll still see other girls, no money for them, we are friends and nothing more, you pay for your own flights, they were always tagging along with me so hotels were already booked so whether I'm alone or with them the price is the same, I'm going to do what I want to do during my holiday and unless you're paying your way food wise I'm choosing every restaurant we eat at. If that doesn't suit them, I'm not bothered if they don't come because I typically prefer solo travel anyway.



Something that's been on my mind lately is how so many of these girls have Thai boyfriends that leech off them financially, but with farangs it's expected he will financially support her and half her village at home. And the second the money stops from Mr. Farang, the relationship is over. Makes you think...



Perhaps I'm cold, but I only give money to people for services rendered. I definitely wouldn't be sending a bar girl or even an ordinary girl money for no reason when they aren't even physically with me.

[daniel74]

All very true points.

Thankyou.



I let her stay with me for 6 weeks as I truly enjoyed her company. We acted like a typical couple in love that would normally make me sick.



We always talked about children over the time I've been with her over the year.



And yes I did start the relationship by stringing her along at the beginning over a year ago.



Selfish and cruel of me. Made her wait with no money, friends or anything. No means to support family. And she has been genuinely faithful.



Somewhere along the lines I started believing my own bullshit.



We would marry, and to hell with what everyone would think.



Now I have fallen back down to earth the reality is cold, move my life and business to Bangkok.. the risk and money involved in such a thing. I keep talking about money but without an income I'm nothing.



I did not know the sinsod would go to the wife.





I think the pictures need to be approved by a mod first before they show. Uploaded as attachments



I read about Thai girls screwing over farang all the time, I guess I've screwed over a genuinely nice Thai girl this time.



I'm back there in 2 months for work again.

Fuck me.

[hilululu]

You could always tell her you'll take care of her and everything, but you won't pay a single dime of that 500K. See what she says. This whole dowry/whatever thing is stupid. Especially that amount, and for a bar girl! Really, a bar girl is one of the lowest on the ladder over there. You shouldn't have to pay much, if anything. If she had been an "untouched" Thai girl with no blemishes on her record, you could consider it. Possibly. Maybe. Doubtfully. But a bar girl? Hah.

[johnson13]

h sorry. The sin sod won't go to the wife, I was just letting you know you have your terms mixed up. A dowry is the money from the brides parents to the bride (or the groom when men controlled financials) upon marriage and if they split the money would have to be returned. In some cases it comes from the wife to the husband if she's financially independent. It's more of an insurance thing to encourage the husband to treat her well or risk having to return a large sum of money and to keep the wife's family involved.



Sin sod, which is often wrongly called a Thai dowry is actually a bride price which is where the groom pays money to the brides parents to be able to marry her (kinda like a bar fine).



1 mil? 500k? :lol: :lol: :lol: Does she think she's some university educated virgin? Tell a Thai guy that your gf is a bar girl from Isan and wants 500k sin sod and see what he says.



Block and forget about her and be thankful you dodged a bullet.