can too much masturbation mess with your head?

[hilululu]

I'm a 22-year-old male, and I'm still a virgin. I've never had a girlfriend or done anything with a girl. But since this is a masturbation forum, maybe you guys can shed some light.

Someone once told me that there is this Chinese or Japanese belief that if you masturbate too much, you lose yourself or even your soul. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but if any of you can tell me about it, that would be cool. I've always been curious about cultural perspectives on this, and whether there's any truth behind such beliefs or if they’re just myths designed to discourage certain behaviors.

That being said, I do sometimes wonder if excessive masturbation can mess with your head. I used to be a much nicer person—someone who genuinely cared about others. But over the years, I feel like my attitude has changed. When I was younger, I was the nice guy who couldn't get a girl. Now, I catch myself using words like "bitch" all the time and not thinking too kindly about women in general. I don’t know if this shift in my mindset has anything to do with my habits, my experiences (or lack thereof), or just growing up and becoming more cynical.

At times, I feel like I have three different personalities when it comes to women. One part of me still wants a real relationship, someone to connect with emotionally and physically. Another part hates females, believing they are full of nonsense and that relationships are just a trap. And then there’s another part of me that only cares about sex, nothing else. It’s like a constant battle in my head between wanting love, feeling resentment, and just craving physical pleasure.

I honestly don’t know if this internal conflict is normal or if I’m just losing my mind. Maybe it's frustration from being alone for so long. Maybe it's from being exposed to certain ideas online or through social experiences. Or maybe it's just how my brain has developed over time. Either way, I sometimes feel like I don’t even know what I really want anymore.

Well, I probably sound insane at this point, but I just wanted to put this out there. If anyone has any thoughts, experiences, or advice, I'd really appreciate it. Does masturbation really affect the way we think and behave, or is it just a scapegoat for deeper personal struggles?

[amravat123]

Hey man, I totally get where you're coming from. I don’t think masturbation itself is the problem, but rather how it’s being used. If you’re relying on it as an escape or a way to deal with loneliness, it could definitely shape your mindset in ways you might not realize. Overindulging in anything—whether it’s video games, social media, or even food—can lead to changes in how you view the world and yourself. So if you’re masturbating excessively and noticing shifts in your personality or thoughts about women, it might be worth examining whether it's a symptom of something deeper.

There’s also the issue of how porn ties into this. A lot of guys fall into the habit of consuming more extreme content over time, which can warp expectations about real-life intimacy. If you’re watching videos that depict women in a degrading way, that could definitely influence how you think about them. Your mind gets conditioned to associate women with only one purpose, and that could explain why you're feeling more resentful or disconnected.

At the same time, it's important not to blame yourself too much. Your changing perspective on women could also be a result of past frustrations and disappointments. When you grow up feeling rejected or ignored, it’s easy to start resenting the people who didn’t give you a chance. But that’s not really fair to you or to them. Women are individuals, just like men, and they have their own struggles and experiences. Letting bitterness take over will only make it harder to build the kind of connection you say you still want deep down.

Maybe try taking a break from porn and cutting back on masturbation for a while. See how it affects your thoughts and emotions. You might be surprised at how much clarity you gain. And if you still feel lost, consider talking to a therapist or someone who can help you sort out these conflicting feelings. It’s not about stopping masturbation altogether—it’s about finding balance and making sure it’s not controlling you.

[antonio123]

Bro, I get it. I used to be in the same boat. I had zero experience with women, and all I did was watch porn and jerk off. At some point, I started noticing I was feeling more disconnected from reality. It wasn’t just about sex—it was like I started seeing women as these unreachable, almost unreal beings. Either I idolized them or resented them, with nothing in between. It was only when I forced myself to break that cycle that things started to change.

Masturbation itself isn’t the issue. The real problem is what comes with it—especially if you’re relying on it as your main source of intimacy. Porn can make you feel like you’re getting all the pleasure you need, but in reality, it’s just an illusion. Over time, it can mess with your brain’s reward system, making real interactions feel less rewarding or even frustrating. That might explain why you’re feeling so conflicted.

You talked about having three different mindsets about women, and I think that’s a sign of inner confusion. Part of you still believes in love, but another part has built up walls from frustration. And then there’s the purely sexual side that just wants release. That’s not insanity—it’s just what happens when your mind is torn between unmet desires and coping mechanisms. The key is figuring out which part of you is the most authentic and working toward that.

If you want my advice, try stepping away from porn and limiting how often you masturbate. Then, go out and start talking to women without any expectations. Not to pick them up, not to get their number—just to rebuild a normal, healthy connection. You might be surprised how much that alone shifts your perspective.

[piciossa]

You bring up an interesting point about cultural beliefs. The idea that excessive masturbation drains your energy or even your "soul" has been around in different traditions for a long time. In Taoism, for example, they believe that semen is a form of vital energy (qi) and that losing too much of it weakens the body and mind. Some ancient thinkers even claimed that too much ejaculation leads to brain fog, lack of motivation, and emotional instability. Whether or not there’s real science behind it, there is something to be said about how habits affect our mental state.

I don’t think masturbation itself is inherently bad, but I do think overindulgence can affect your mindset. When something is too easy and accessible, we tend to overuse it, and that can create problems. If your brain is constantly chasing that next dopamine hit, it might start associating pleasure with something that requires no effort, which in turn can make you less motivated to seek real-life experiences. That could explain why you feel disconnected, frustrated, and unsure about what you really want.

I also think your shift in attitude toward women could be a mix of things—your experiences, the content you consume, and even just growing older. A lot of guys go through phases where they become jaded, especially if they’ve had negative experiences with women or dating. But it’s important to separate personal frustration from reality. Not all women are the same, just like not all men are the same. If you’re carrying around bitterness, it will show in your interactions, and that’s only going to make things harder for you.

Maybe challenge yourself to take a break, not just from masturbation but from any content that reinforces negativity. Replace that time with something else—working out, reading, learning a skill. See if it makes a difference in how you feel and think. You might find that some of these feelings aren’t actually about masturbation at all, but about the mindset you’ve developed over time.

[hanar123]

Dude, I think what you're going through is a mix of frustration, loneliness, and maybe even a bit of addiction to the habit. When you rely on something for comfort too much, it can start to shape the way you think. I wouldn’t say masturbation alone is the reason you feel this way, but if it’s tied to porn and constant fantasies, it could definitely be reinforcing certain emotions and perspectives.

The biggest red flag to me is that you’re feeling more resentment toward women. That’s a sign that there’s unresolved frustration, and if you don’t address it, it’ll only get worse. You might not even realize it, but constantly indulging in sexual gratification without any real connection can make you start viewing women as objects rather than people. That’s dangerous territory because it distances you even further from the kind of relationship you say you want.

Have you ever tried cutting back just to see how you feel? A lot of guys report that quitting porn and reducing masturbation helps them regain confidence, motivation, and even a better attitude toward dating. It’s worth a shot. Even if you don’t quit completely, just being more mindful about how and why you do it could be eye-opening.

At the end of the day, balance is everything. If you feel like it’s negatively affecting you, take control of it instead of letting it control you.

[amravat123]

I think what you’re describing is more common than you realize. A lot of guys go through phases where they question their own behavior and mindset. Masturbation itself probably isn’t the root cause of your frustration, but it could be amplifying certain emotions. If you’re already feeling isolated or bitter, constantly reinforcing those feelings with solitary habits can create a cycle where you drift further from what you actually want—real intimacy.

The thing is, your view of women seems to be shaped by both personal experiences and online influences. You mentioned that you used to be a nice guy who couldn’t get a girl. That could mean you expected kindness alone to be enough, and when that didn’t work out, resentment started creeping in. But attraction and relationships are way more complicated than just being nice. If you’re constantly consuming content that portrays women as manipulative or uninterested in guys like you, it’s easy to start believing that’s reality.

I don’t think you’re crazy for feeling conflicted. You’re just trying to make sense of things. But the more you let negativity take over, the harder it’ll be to actually connect with someone in a meaningful way. If you do want a relationship, it’s important to work on changing your perspective. Start by asking yourself what kind of energy you’re putting out into the world. If you’re carrying around bitterness, it’ll show, and that can push people away without you even realizing it.

Maybe take a step back from all of it for a while—masturbation, porn, and even online discussions about dating frustrations. Focus on yourself in a different way. Work on things that make you feel confident and fulfilled outside of sex or relationships. That shift in mindset could help you figure out what you really want without all the noise clouding your judgment