Can't come from oral sex

[hilululu]

I have a lovely new boyfriend and we have great sex together - I come very easily when im on top and he can sometimes bring me off with his fingers too, but no matter how long and intensely he goes down on me (and he loves doing it!) I can't come - I love the sensations, it is very, very pleasurable but I seem to get to the brink but can't tip over the edge.

I suppose I have some inhibition somewhere deep in my psyche - in any other sexual aspect I am very uninhibited: love bondage and s/m to name but a few - but I feel a freak because oral sex is imagined to be THE surefire winner for orgasms.

I masturbate a lot but again, I get the tension build up but not the actual release. I've tried loads of different vibrators and toys but they really don't do a lot for me. Quite a nice feeling but definitely not orgasmic.

think about waht sort of touch/sensation it is that brings you over. You said that finger sometimes works, why doesn't he try incorporating that into oral (and give his tongue a break for a moment)


I would definitely say that you have a mental block for some reason. You need to let yourself go, relax, and not obsess over having an orgasm. It sounds to me as though you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself.

Just enjoy the sensations, take the focus off of having an orgasm, and see where it takes you. Once you can relax and just give yourself over to the feelings, I'm sure it can and will happen for you.


Does anyone else have this problem or, even better, did anyone else have this and find the Magic Key! If so, please share the secret cos I feel like i'm missing out!

[amravat123]

Hey, I can totally relate to this! I've been with partners where oral sex was supposed to be the key to orgasms, but it just didn't work for me either. Like you, I love the sensations, and it's incredibly pleasurable, but I just couldn’t tip over the edge. The whole idea that oral should be the way to get there can create a lot of pressure, and I think that’s part of the problem. I often felt like I was supposed to come from it, and that mental pressure was a huge barrier.

I’ve tried a lot of different things, too—different positions, different types of stimulation—but nothing seemed to click. For me, I’ve realized it’s not about the act itself but about the headspace I'm in. When I'm completely relaxed and not trying to force anything, the sensations become more intense.

Something that helped me was having a conversation with my partner about it. We’ve started mixing things up a little—sometimes he’ll combine oral with manual stimulation. For me, that works way better than just one or the other. Maybe you could try something similar if your partner’s open to it.

Ultimately, I think it comes down to pressure. When you stop focusing on the outcome, it opens up a lot of possibilities. It's frustrating not to get there from oral sex, but don’t be hard on yourself. It doesn’t define your sexual experience!

[hanar123]

I’ve been in a similar situation where I could never orgasm from oral sex alone. It was incredibly frustrating, especially since it’s so often portrayed as the easiest way to get there. For me, the mental block was a huge factor. I’ve always been someone who loves trying different things in the bedroom, but when it came to oral, I couldn’t relax enough to let go.

Over time, I realized that I was overthinking everything. When I shifted my focus from “I need to orgasm now” to just enjoying the sensation, I started having better experiences. The pressure to perform or reach the "goal" really held me back. I also started talking more openly with my partner about what felt good and asking for more variation during oral sessions. Sometimes, a little change—whether it's different movements or incorporating fingers—could make all the difference.

The other thing I noticed was that stress and anxiety in my daily life would affect my sexual experiences. If I was in my head, it was hard to get out of it during sex. Meditation, self-care, and being mindful of what I’m feeling made me more in tune with my body. When I took the pressure off myself, that’s when things started to click.

It’s a tough situation, but try not to feel alone in this. It’s more common than you think. Relax, be patient with yourself, and maybe try experimenting with different combos of touch and sensation. You’ll find what works for you!

[piciossa]

I understand where you're coming from. For so long, I struggled with not being able to orgasm from oral sex, and it was really discouraging. My ex used to get so frustrated because I couldn't get there even though everything seemed to be perfect. What I learned through all of it is that the pressure of trying to orgasm made it harder to actually do so.

What helped me was realizing that my body doesn't necessarily work the same way every time, and I had to let go of the need for a “perfect” orgasm from oral. I started to focus on just enjoying the process instead of making the goal my primary focus. One thing that worked for me was incorporating mental relaxation techniques like focusing on deep breathing to calm my mind and make my body more receptive to touch.

Also, I talked to my partner about how I felt, and together we tried switching things up a bit. Sometimes, combining oral with other forms of stimulation (like having him use his fingers during oral) worked better for me. It took some trial and error, but eventually, I found that a mix of sensations helped me build up the right kind of pleasure.

So, yeah, the pressure and mental block are very real. I think once you stop focusing so much on reaching orgasm through one specific act, you might unlock a new level of pleasure. Be patient with yourself—it’s a journey!

[antonio123]

I’ve been there, too. I used to think something was wrong with me because I couldn’t come from oral sex, even though I loved it. The sensation was fantastic, but I just couldn’t get to that ultimate release. It honestly took me a while to understand that it wasn’t about technique alone—it was more about my mind being in the right place.

What really helped me was loosening up about the whole process. I stopped expecting myself to orgasm from oral every time. Instead, I focused on how good the sensations felt and just let myself enjoy them without thinking about the outcome. That mindset shift was huge for me. Once I relaxed more, I could appreciate the feeling without the pressure of having to "perform."

Something I found that works well for me is incorporating other forms of stimulation while giving oral a go. Maybe mix in some light pressure with fingers or even change up the pace a little. It’s all about finding that sweet spot between mental relaxation and physical sensation. The more you experiment with different touches and mindsets, the more you’ll learn about what gets you there.

You're not alone in this, and it's more common than you might think. It can feel isolating, but just remember that there’s no one “right” way to experience pleasure. It’s all about finding what works for you!

[deigo123]

I know exactly how you feel—it's frustrating when oral sex doesn’t lead to orgasm like it seems to for everyone else. I’ve had the same experience. I can get super close, but that final step just doesn’t happen. The good news is that you’re definitely not alone in this. A lot of people have similar challenges, even if they don’t talk about it openly.

One thing I’ve learned is that it’s often a mental block. Sometimes, our minds get in the way of our bodies, and we can’t fully let go because we’re too focused on trying to have an orgasm. I’ve found that when I let go of the need to climax during oral sex, I start enjoying it more. I can get lost in the sensation, and once I stop obsessing over the “finish line,” the pleasure feels better.

As for your partner, it sounds like he’s doing everything right, but maybe he could try incorporating more of what you enjoy—like combining oral with manual stimulation. Maybe switching things up or even focusing on what feels good instead of just what’s supposed to work could help. You could even try guiding him to areas or motions that really turn you on.

The key, in my opinion, is communication and experimentation. It’s all about discovering what your body responds to, and that takes time. Don’t feel bad—it’s a journey, and you’ll find what works for you!