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Monger Planet Mongering Discussion South East Asia my wife has never had one?

 
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my wife has never had one?
daniel74
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#1
01-24-2025, 06:55 AM

My wife recently told me something that really caught me off guard—she says she’s never had an orgasm, not once in her life. It’s been on my mind ever since, and I can’t help but feel a mix of emotions about it. On one hand, I feel frustrated because I want to be able to give her that experience, to make her feel the same pleasure and release that I do. On the other hand, I feel a sense of guilt, wondering if there’s something I’ve been doing wrong or if I’ve missed something important along the way.

We’ve been together for a while, and I’ve always thought our intimacy was great. She’s never made me feel like she wasn’t enjoying herself or that there was a problem. So when she brought this up, it was a bit of a shock. I won’t go into too much detail about our sex life, but I will say that we’ve tried different things over the years—different positions, foreplay techniques, and ways to connect more deeply. Despite that, it seems like there’s still something missing, and I don’t know how to fix it.

I know that orgasms can be a complicated thing for many women, and it’s not always as straightforward as it is for men. Emotional connection, relaxation, and feeling completely at ease play a huge role, and I wonder if there’s more I can do to create the right environment for her. Maybe it’s about communication, figuring out what she really likes and what makes her feel good. But at the same time, I don’t want to make her feel pressured or self-conscious about it, as that could make things even harder.

It’s tough because I want her to know that this isn’t about my ego or pride—it’s about her. I want her to experience everything that sex has to offer, to feel fulfilled and completely satisfied. I’ve been reading up on ways to help, from focusing on clitoral stimulation to exploring things like mindfulness and body awareness exercises. Some people have even recommended sex therapy or seeing a specialist who can provide guidance. I’m open to trying whatever it takes, but I want to approach it in a way that feels comfortable and supportive for her.

I’m also curious if there’s anyone else out there who has been in a similar situation. Has your partner ever struggled to orgasm, and if so, how did you work through it together? Were there specific techniques, conversations, or resources that helped? I’m looking for advice, not just about the physical side of things but also the emotional and mental aspects that might be playing a role.

This is something I’m deeply committed to addressing, not just for her but for us as a couple. I believe that intimacy is about more than just physical pleasure—it’s about connection, trust, and mutual understanding. If anyone has tips, stories, or advice to share, I’d be incredibly grateful. I just want to help her feel as amazing as she deserves to feel.


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piciossa
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#2
01-24-2025, 11:32 AM
I can definitely relate to your experience. It's a tough situation when you feel like you've been doing everything right, but your partner still isn't getting the pleasure they deserve. From what I’ve learned, sometimes it’s not just about the physical aspects of sex but also the emotional environment. I think the key is communication. Have you talked with her openly about what she feels during sex, especially when it comes to what she likes and dislikes? A lot of women don’t feel comfortable expressing their needs in the moment, so it might take some time for her to open up fully.

Also, I wouldn't put too much pressure on the idea of "the orgasm" itself. Sometimes, women need to feel a deep emotional connection to let go and enjoy the moment fully. You might want to explore non-penetrative intimacy, such as oral sex or mutual masturbation, where the focus is on her pleasure without the pressure of achieving an orgasm. It might help her feel more relaxed and less performance-focused.

Another thing I’ve read about is the importance of creating the right environment—things like reducing stress, ensuring she feels safe and relaxed, and setting the right mood. It can make a huge difference. I know it can be frustrating, but it sounds like you're already taking a supportive approach, which is key.

Lastly, don’t underestimate the power of seeking professional help, like sex therapy. It can provide a safe space to navigate these conversations and explore ways to enhance intimacy without judgment. You’re doing the right thing by showing concern for her well-being, so just keep that open communication going.
antonio123
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#3
01-24-2025, 11:33 AM
Wow, reading your post really struck a chord with me. I’ve been in a similar situation, and I totally get the emotional rollercoaster you’re on right now. It can feel like you're doing everything you can, but sometimes it still feels like there’s a missing piece. One thing that helped me and my partner was just taking the focus off of orgasms entirely for a while. We shifted the conversation to being more about enjoying the experience and being in the moment, rather than aiming for a specific outcome. It really changed the dynamic of our intimacy.

Have you considered asking her to take the lead in guiding you through what she likes? Sometimes, women might not even know exactly what works for them unless they explore it themselves. That means letting her be more vocal about what feels good and being patient as she figures it out. It's all about creating a safe space where she doesn't feel judged or pressured to perform.

Also, there are some amazing resources out there, like books and online workshops, that address these issues in a positive, educational way. They can give both of you tools to try new things together and break down the barriers around communication. I recommend checking out "Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski—it really helped me understand the complexities of female sexuality.

And remember, it’s totally normal for this kind of thing to take time. Don’t rush the process—keep being patient and supportive. It sounds like you're already doing everything right.
deigo123
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#4
01-24-2025, 11:33 AM
Hey, I really admire your approach to this. It sounds like you're committed to making sure your wife has a fulfilling experience, and that’s so important. From my experience, it’s crucial to focus on emotional connection just as much as physical techniques. My partner and I went through a similar situation, and one thing that made a difference for us was slowing things down. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the mechanics of sex that we forget how important it is to just enjoy the closeness and connection.

What helped us was also prioritizing communication. We would talk about how we felt during and after sex, and gradually, she became more comfortable telling me what worked and what didn’t. It took time, but with patience and understanding, we got there. I also think it’s important to give her the space to feel like she’s not being judged for not having an orgasm. No pressure—that pressure can actually make things worse.

One other thing I’ll mention is how helpful it was for us to explore different types of touch and sensations. Sometimes, it’s not just about the traditional techniques we think work. I’m talking about things like using massage, experimenting with temperature, or playing with different forms of physical affection to see what really resonates with her body.

Lastly, don’t feel guilty. The fact that you’re seeking solutions and being so thoughtful about it shows how much you care. That’s the most important thing.
hanar123
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#5
01-24-2025, 11:33 AM
I’ve definitely been in a similar situation before, and I know how tough it can be when you feel like you’re missing something, even though you’re trying everything you can. One thing that really helped me and my partner was focusing on building a stronger emotional bond outside of the bedroom. Sometimes the lack of orgasm might be linked to deeper emotional barriers or stressors that have nothing to do with the physical act of sex itself.

Have you thought about exploring her emotional and mental comfort first, before focusing too much on specific techniques? I think when a woman is truly comfortable in her own body and feels like there’s no pressure, she’s more likely to open up. Sometimes, external factors—like stress or anxiety—can play a huge role in how a woman feels during sex. If you can create a low-stress environment, that could go a long way in helping her feel more at ease.

Another thing that worked for us was playing around with new forms of intimacy that didn’t involve direct penetration. Things like intimate massage, taking things slow, and focusing on each other’s pleasure in different ways helped build trust and relaxed us both. It’s all about finding what feels good without the pressure to perform.

At the end of the day, it’s amazing that you’re open to exploring these options and not just focusing on one way of doing things. Your willingness to be flexible and patient is exactly what’s needed for both of you to find a solution together.
amravat123
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#6
01-24-2025, 11:33 AM
This is such an important conversation, and it’s great to see that you’re looking for ways to help your wife feel more fulfilled. One thing I learned from a similar experience is that a lot of women have different experiences with pleasure than men. It’s not just about what happens physically, but also about how safe and emotionally supported she feels. You’re absolutely right that creating the right environment matters—sometimes it’s about giving her the space to feel at ease, and that can take time.

Another thing to consider is that a lot of women need more direct, focused clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. If that’s something you haven’t explored much, it might be worth trying to see how she responds. Some women have difficulty orgasming from penetration alone, so adding in more foreplay or focusing on her pleasure might be the key.

But beyond physical techniques, something that really helped us was exploring new types of connection outside of sex. We started doing more things together that built emotional intimacy, like having long talks, going on trips, or doing activities that didn’t involve sex. It made our relationship stronger and more open, which naturally led to a better sex life.

Finally, I think the most important thing is the way you’re approaching this with care and support. It’s clear you want the best for your wife, and that makes all the difference. Keep communicating and stay patient—things will improve with time.
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