Can You Make Yourself Orgasm?

[jonny09256]

In all of the many forms of sex play… can you make yourself orgasm?
I know guys can obviously make themselves orgasm via masturbation. But what about during intercourse?
And what about the ladies?
For me, it’s very difficult to make myself orgasm. I have to have help from someone else. If I’m on top or in some other position where I’m in charge, if I’m close, I have to stop or at least slow down. I can rarely make myself go all the way—just because it feels too good. I have to be forced or controlled or coerced by the other party to go all the way!

First, it’s important to recognize that everyone experiences orgasm differently, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. For both men and women, achieving orgasm during intercourse can be more complex than simply “making it happen.” While some people are able to orgasm easily through penetrative sex or masturbation, others may require additional stimulation or certain conditions to reach climax.

For men, it’s typically easier to orgasm during masturbation because they have more control over the rhythm and intensity of their stimulation. During intercourse, especially when engaging in positions that are less familiar or comfortable, the sensations can be harder to manage, making it challenging to climax. However, many men can reach orgasm through consistent and focused stimulation during sex with a partner.

For women, achieving orgasm can be even more nuanced. Many women require direct clitoral stimulation in addition to penetration to reach orgasm, as the clitoris is the most sensitive part of the body for most women. In some cases, women may not orgasm during intercourse alone because they don’t experience enough consistent stimulation on the clitoris or G-spot, or they may simply need to relax and feel emotionally connected to their partner.

It’s also not uncommon for people to experience a sense of being “too good” when they’re in control during sex. This can happen when the pleasure is so intense that it becomes hard to push through to orgasm. Some people feel like they need a partner to help guide them or take charge in order to let go and reach climax. This could be tied to the dynamic of control and surrender during sex, which can heighten arousal and allow for a deeper experience.

If you’re finding it difficult to reach orgasm during intercourse, it could help to explore different techniques and open up communication with your partner. Discuss what feels good and experiment with combining different forms of stimulation, such as manual or oral, during sex. Some people find that incorporating role play, power dynamics, or other elements of control and surrender can add an extra layer of pleasure that helps them orgasm more easily.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to communicate openly with your partner about your needs and desires. Everyone’s body reacts differently to stimulation, and there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to experience orgasm. What matters is that you and your partner are on the same page and enjoy the experience together.

[deigo123]

I totally get where you're coming from. When I’m masturbating, it’s so much easier for me to orgasm. I can control everything: the pressure, the speed, the rhythm. It’s just all about me and what feels right. But when I’m with a partner, especially during intercourse, it’s a different story. It’s not that I don’t enjoy it – I do – but sometimes the sensations are just too intense. I get close, but I can’t seem to finish unless someone else is driving the action. That’s when I tend to get frustrated. I think there’s definitely something about the dynamic of being in charge versus surrendering that plays into it.

I've also noticed that certain positions make it harder to finish. For example, when I’m on top, I feel like I’m trying to concentrate on keeping a rhythm, but I’m also caught up in the sensation and not fully focused. That’s when I need a little help – maybe from extra clitoral stimulation or changing positions to something more comfortable. I think it's about finding the balance between control and relaxation. Have you tried experimenting with switching things up, or talking to your partner about how they can help you get to that point?

One thing I’ve found helpful is just being more open with my partner about what feels good. Sometimes they don’t know exactly what I need until I communicate it. I’ve found that a little extra foreplay or a different type of touch can make a huge difference. In fact, adding a little pressure or slower movements at the right time can sometimes help me get over the edge. I’ve also learned that it’s okay not to climax every time. Sometimes the experience itself is enjoyable enough without reaching that final moment.

I think the key is to not put too much pressure on yourself. If orgasm doesn’t happen, that’s fine. The most important thing is enjoying the moment and making sure both you and your partner are comfortable. Plus, it’s always helpful to experiment together to find what works best. I’ve had the best results when I just let go of expectations and let the experience unfold naturally.

[antonio123]

For me, the hardest part is always when I’m in control. I love being on top, and there’s something really empowering about taking charge in the bedroom. But I’ve realized that it actually makes it harder for me to orgasm. The sensation feels so good that I can’t seem to focus enough to reach that climax. When I’m with a partner who can take the lead and sort of direct things, I find that I can let go more easily and relax enough to get there. It’s almost like the mental aspect plays a huge role in helping me get to that point.

I think it's about surrendering that control. When I’m on top, I’m focused on keeping the rhythm going and making sure everything feels right. But when someone else is in charge, I can focus solely on the pleasure, and that’s when things seem to flow more naturally. It might sound a little counterintuitive, but sometimes giving up control is what I need to truly let go and climax. Has anyone else experienced this, where being in charge makes it harder for you to finish?

I also wonder if part of it is just mental. Maybe it’s about trusting the partner and being able to relax into the experience without worrying about anything. Some nights, I can reach orgasm with little effort, and other nights, it feels almost impossible. I’ve learned that it’s really about being in the right headspace. Even if I’m in a position that would usually be ideal for orgasm, if I’m not mentally there, it doesn’t happen.

That being said, I’ve realized the best way to deal with this is communication. I’ll talk to my partner about what works and what doesn’t. I’ll ask for guidance, and that often helps. It’s not about perfection – it’s about the experience and connection. I think as long as we both enjoy it and communicate openly, that’s what matters most, whether I climax or not

[piciossa]

I’ve always found it a bit difficult to orgasm during intercourse, especially if I’m the one in control. For me, it’s more about the build-up of sensations than the actual act of climaxing. When I’m in charge, I feel like I’m trying so hard to focus on the rhythm that I don’t let myself completely surrender to the experience. I think it's common for guys to struggle with this, but I’ve found that switching positions or introducing a little external stimulation helps. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of being in the right position where things align perfectly.

One thing I’ve learned is that it’s okay if it doesn’t happen every time. There’s no rule that says you have to orgasm during every sexual encounter. Sometimes, just being present and enjoying the intimacy with my partner is enough. The pressure to climax can sometimes take away from the enjoyment. I’ve had better experiences when I don’t focus on the end goal and just enjoy the journey. For me, connecting with my partner on a deeper level also seems to help with reaching that point, or at least enjoying things without the pressure.

Also, I’ve realized that the mental aspect of sex plays a huge role. Sometimes, if I feel relaxed and emotionally connected with my partner, everything flows better. But when I’m distracted or anxious, that’s when things stall. I wonder if anyone else finds it easier to orgasm when they’re emotionally and mentally connected with their partner. I know it’s definitely not just about physical stimulation.

Overall, I think communication is key. I’ve learned to talk to my partner about what works for me and what doesn’t, and that’s made a huge difference. Experimenting with different types of touch, adding some foreplay, or even trying something like role-play or power dynamics has opened up new avenues for pleasure. Everyone’s experience is different, and there’s no right or wrong way to feel pleasure.

[amravat123]

I’ve always had trouble reaching orgasm during intercourse, especially when I’m the one in control. I guess part of it is just how intense the pleasure feels. When I’m on top or in a dominant position, I find it hard to stay focused on reaching orgasm – I get too caught up in the sensations and sometimes stop just short of the finish line. That’s when I need a little help from my partner. I’ve found that being more open about what I need in those moments has really helped, though. Sometimes a little extra manual stimulation or a change in position can make all the difference.

I think what makes it harder is that there are so many factors at play. The pressure to perform, the desire to please my partner, and my own sensations can all get in the way of the orgasmic experience. I’ve come to realize that trying to force it can sometimes make it harder to achieve. Instead, I try to relax, focus on the moment, and let the pleasure come naturally. Has anyone else found that letting go of expectations helps them climax?

It’s also important to note that orgasm isn’t the only goal of sex. The connection, the pleasure of being close to someone, and the intimacy are just as important. I’ve had some of the best sex when I wasn’t necessarily focused on reaching orgasm, but rather on enjoying the experience with my partner. It’s refreshing to let go of the pressure and just experience pleasure in the moment.

That said, communication has been a game-changer for me. Talking with my partner about what feels good and what I need has allowed us to explore new ways to reach climax. I’ve learned that sometimes, a little change in position, a new type of touch, or even adding some different dynamics can help take things to the next level. Sex doesn’t have to be perfect, but being open to trying new things and finding what works for both of us is what makes it great.

[hanar123]

I’ve noticed that I struggle to orgasm during intercourse, especially if I’m the one in control. There’s something about being in charge that distracts me from the goal – I get so focused on the sensations and maintaining the right rhythm that I don’t always make it to climax. When my partner takes charge, though, I can relax more and let myself fully experience the pleasure. It’s strange, but there’s something about giving up that control that makes the experience much more intense. Maybe it's the sense of surrender that helps me let go.

Sometimes, it’s not just about physical stimulation. I think mental factors can play a huge role too. If I’m feeling anxious or distracted, it’s much harder for me to climax. But when I’m emotionally connected with my partner, everything feels more fluid. It’s like when you’re in sync with someone, the pleasure flows more easily. Does anyone else find that emotional connection helps with reaching orgasm?

I’ve also realized that it's okay not to orgasm every time. The experience itself can still be incredibly fulfilling, even if the finish isn’t there. I think taking the pressure off has made sex more enjoyable overall. But at the same time, when I do orgasm, it’s a really intense experience, especially when I’ve allowed myself to fully let go. I wonder if anyone else has found that giving up control in the right circumstances can actually make it easier to climax.

Exploring new things with your partner has also helped me a lot. We’ve tried different forms of stimulation, like adding some extra oral or manual play to the mix. It’s helped me understand my body better and learn what works for me. Open communication is essential in making sure both of us enjoy the experience. Every body is different, and it’s all about figuring out what makes it work for both people involved.

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