How Do I Destroy My Sex Drive?

[aiden15632]

There is zero sexual activity in my life, and I really feel it is damaging me mentally. I potentially have HPV (no test for men), which ruins any chance of getting any in the future. I don’t want to want to have sex anymore when I am 21 and can still count how many times I’ve slept with a girl on one hand. How do I destroy the urge to have sex?


It’s understandable to feel this way, especially when society often places significant pressure on young people to meet certain benchmarks in their personal lives, including sexual experiences. Feeling like you don’t measure up to these perceived expectations can lead to frustration, self-doubt, and even shame. However, it’s important to remember that your value as a person isn’t tied to how many sexual experiences you’ve had. Many people face similar challenges at your age, even if it seems like everyone else is living a different reality.


The concern about potentially having HPV adds another layer to your emotions. While it’s true there isn’t a routine test for men, it’s worth noting that HPV is extremely common, and most cases resolve on their own without causing long-term issues. If you’re feeling anxious about this, it might be helpful to consult a healthcare professional. They can provide accurate information, reassurance, and advice on safe practices moving forward. Addressing this concern directly could alleviate some of the fear you associate with intimacy and help you rebuild confidence.


Your desire to “destroy the urge to have sex” likely stems from the emotional pain and frustration you’re experiencing. However, suppressing natural feelings might not be the healthiest approach. Instead, consider channeling your energy into areas of life where you can find purpose and satisfaction. Engaging in hobbies, pursuing professional goals, or developing creative outlets can provide a sense of accomplishment and help shift your focus away from these negative feelings. Over time, building a life you’re proud of can reduce the intensity of this struggle.


It’s also worth reflecting on the role of mental health in this situation. Persistent feelings of inadequacy or isolation can have a profound effect on your well-being. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor could be a transformative step. They can help you explore the root causes of your emotions, challenge unhelpful thought patterns, and develop strategies to improve your mental and emotional health. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a brave choice to prioritize your well-being.


Finally, don’t underestimate the importance of meaningful relationships outside of sex. Building strong friendships and emotional connections can create a supportive network where you feel valued and understood. Such connections can also lead to deeper relationships over time, allowing intimacy to develop naturally without pressure or fear. Life is not a race, and your journey is uniquely yours. Give yourself the patience and compassion to grow and find fulfillment in ways that align with your personal values and aspirations.

[amravat123]

It’s tough to deal with those feelings, man. I get it. Society and social media make it seem like everyone’s out there living this “perfect” sexual life, and if you’re not part of it, you feel like you’re missing out or broken somehow. But honestly, what you’re going through is way more common than people admit. A lot of guys are struggling silently with the same thoughts—wondering if there’s something wrong with them or if they’re just unlucky. The truth is, your worth isn’t tied to your sexual experiences or lack thereof. You’re so much more than that.

The HPV concern, though, is probably amplifying all of this. It’s scary to think about, especially when there’s no clear way to test or confirm anything. But dude, HPV is one of the most common STIs out there. Most people have it at some point, and the vast majority of cases don’t lead to anything serious. The stigma around it is worse than the reality. Maybe talking to a doctor would help you feel more informed and in control, you know? Getting the facts instead of sitting with the uncertainty can be a game-changer.

I understand why you’d want to just shut off your sex drive and not have to deal with any of this. When something feels unattainable or out of reach, it’s easier to want to stop caring about it. But trying to force yourself not to feel something that’s natural is like swimming against the current—it’s exhausting and won’t work in the long run. Instead, maybe redirecting that energy into other areas of your life—fitness, hobbies, career—could help you feel more grounded. Once you build confidence in other parts of your life, it might shift how you view this whole situation.

Also, don’t underestimate the power of building connections with people in a non-sexual way. A lot of times, intimacy starts with feeling understood and valued, and that doesn’t necessarily have to involve sex. Even just having a group of solid friends who have your back can make a huge difference. You’re still so young, and there’s no deadline for figuring this stuff out. Life has a way of surprising you when you least expect it.

[hanar123]

Honestly, man, I can feel the frustration in what you’re saying. It sounds like you’re in a bit of a storm right now, but storms pass. First off, you’re not alone in this. Society puts way too much pressure on us guys to “perform” or hit these milestones by a certain age. The truth is, a lot of that is just noise. Everyone’s path is different, and comparing yourself to some imaginary standard will only mess with your head more.

The HPV thing is definitely tough, but I think you’re letting it hold more power over you than it should. I had a similar scare once, and it had me spiraling, too. But after doing some research and talking to a doctor, I realized it wasn’t the end of the world. Most people don’t even know they have it, and for the vast majority, it doesn’t cause any issues. If this is weighing on you that heavily, I’d really recommend reaching out to a healthcare provider. Just having the facts can ease a lot of your anxiety.

I get why you’d want to just kill your sex drive. It feels like an easy way out when the frustration gets too much. But suppressing that part of yourself won’t solve the deeper issues. Instead, it might help to focus on what brings you joy or purpose outside of sex and relationships. Whether that’s working out, learning a new skill, or throwing yourself into your career, finding something that makes you feel alive and accomplished can shift your mindset in a big way.

At the end of the day, though, I think what’s missing most is self-compassion. You’re beating yourself up for things that aren’t entirely in your control. Take a step back and ask yourself, “If a friend came to me with this, what would I say to them?” You’d probably be kinder to them than you are to yourself right now. Cut yourself some slack, bro. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.

[deigo123]

Man, reading your post hit me because I’ve been in a similar place before. It feels like there’s this massive weight on your shoulders, and no matter what you do, it doesn’t go away. But here’s the thing: your sex drive and your value as a person are not the same things. It’s easy to get them tangled up, especially when everything around us—media, friends, even random conversations—seems to highlight sex as the ultimate achievement. But it’s not.

The HPV worry, though, that’s a rough one. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a valid concern, but you’re not doomed because of it. Most cases clear up on their own, and there’s so much misinformation out there that it can make things seem worse than they are. If this is eating away at you, go talk to a doctor. They can’t test you directly, but they can give you guidance and put your mind at ease. Ignoring it will only make it seem scarier than it actually is.

Wanting to destroy your sex drive makes sense when it feels like all it’s doing is causing pain and frustration. But trying to shut down a natural part of yourself isn’t the answer. Instead of fighting it, maybe try reframing how you think about it. Your sex drive doesn’t have to define you, and it doesn’t have to be a source of pain. Finding ways to channel that energy into other areas—whether it’s fitness, creativity, or something else you’re passionate about—could help shift your perspective.

Lastly, I think you’re dealing with some deeper self-esteem issues, and that’s okay. We all go through it. Talking to a therapist might sound like a big step, but it could help you work through these feelings in a way that’s healthy and productive. You don’t have to carry this all by yourself, man. There’s support out there if you’re willing to reach for it.

[antonio123]

Your post really resonated with me, and I just want to say, I think you’re being way too hard on yourself. It’s easy to spiral when you feel like you’re not meeting expectations—whether they’re from society, your friends, or even yourself. But the truth is, those expectations are often BS. Everyone’s timeline is different, and there’s no “right” way to go about life or relationships.

The HPV thing is tough, and I understand why it’s weighing on you. But dude, it’s not the end of the world. HPV is so common that most people don’t even realize they’ve had it. The fact that you’re aware and concerned about it shows you’re responsible and thoughtful, which is way more important than any stigma attached to it. A quick talk with a doctor might not fix everything overnight, but it could give you some peace of mind.

I think the desire to shut down your sex drive is more about trying to escape the pain you’re feeling. But pain isn’t something you can just “switch off.” What you can do, though, is focus on what you can control. Build a life you’re proud of—whether that’s through hobbies, fitness, travel, or anything else that lights you up. When you feel good about yourself and your life, the rest starts to fall into place naturally.

Also, don’t forget the importance of non-sexual connections. Friendships, family, even online communities like this one can offer a lot of support. You’re not broken, and you’re definitely not alone. Keep reminding yourself of that, and take things one step at a time.

[piciossa]

Dude, I can feel how much this is eating at you, and I want to say right off the bat: you’re not alone. So many guys are struggling with similar thoughts, but nobody talks about it because it’s seen as taboo or embarrassing. It’s not. What you’re feeling is valid, and it doesn’t make you any less of a man.

The HPV worry is real, but it’s important to keep things in perspective. HPV is ridiculously common, and in most cases, it doesn’t cause any serious issues. I know that doesn’t erase the fear, but it’s worth reminding yourself that you’re not some outlier here. Talking to a healthcare professional might help you separate fact from fiction and ease some of the anxiety that’s piling up.

I get why you’d want to destroy your sex drive—it seems like the root of all the frustration. But suppressing it isn’t the solution. Your sex drive isn’t the enemy; it’s just part of being human. Maybe the better approach is to focus on yourself in other ways. Hit the gym, learn a new skill, or dive into something you’re passionate about. When you feel good about yourself, it can change how you view this whole situation.

Finally, give yourself some grace. You’re 21, and there’s so much ahead of you. The pressure to have it all figured out by now is just noise. Take things at your own pace, and don’t be afraid to seek help if you need it. Therapy, friends, or even communities like this one can be a lifeline. You’re not alone, bro. Keep pushing forward.