Wife is not keen on receiving oral sex

[ban908463]

We are married for more than 20 years and have a wonderful sex life. Several years ago, my wife allowed me to go down on her, and on many occasions, she climaxed with oral sex alone. During the last 2 to 3 years, she is not very keen on me going down on her. Is there any other couple or females in similar situations like this, and how would you remedy the situation to make the woman enjoy oral sex on her again?

After two decades of marriage, changes in sexual preferences and dynamics are entirely normal and often influenced by a variety of factors, including physical, emotional, and psychological changes. If your wife is less interested in receiving oral sex now than she was before, it could be due to shifts in her comfort level, hormonal changes, or even changes in sensitivity or perception of pleasure. Open communication is key to understanding the underlying reason behind this change without making her feel pressured or uncomfortable.

It’s possible that your wife’s preferences have evolved, and she may now find other forms of intimacy more appealing. To address this, try having a casual, non-judgmental conversation with her about what she enjoys most during intimacy. Reassure her that your goal is to make her feel good, and let her guide the conversation about what she likes or dislikes about oral sex. Sometimes, understanding her current mindset can reveal helpful insights.

Additionally, consider experimenting with other ways to enhance intimacy and pleasure. Sometimes, introducing new techniques, taking things slower, or incorporating more foreplay can reignite interest in activities she once enjoyed. If there are physical factors at play, such as discomfort or reduced sensitivity, encouraging her to speak with a healthcare professional might be helpful. This could address any concerns and offer solutions to improve her comfort and experience.

Finally, remember that intimacy is about mutual satisfaction and connection. Instead of focusing solely on bringing oral sex back into your relationship, explore other ways to make your physical relationship exciting and fulfilling. This could include trying new activities together, focusing on different erogenous zones, or even simply cherishing the moments of closeness you share. By fostering an open and supportive environment, you create the opportunity for her to express her needs and possibly rediscover enjoyment in activities she once loved.

[deigo123]

This is an interesting topic. My ex-girlfriend had a phase where she wasn’t into receiving oral sex anymore, even though she used to enjoy it a lot. I discovered it wasn’t just a physical thing; there were some emotional layers to unpack. She admitted that stress and self-consciousness about her body were affecting her desire for certain intimate acts.

I think women, especially as they get older, may develop insecurities about their bodies, and that can affect how they feel during intimacy. In our case, I focused on making her feel beautiful and desired in other ways. Compliments, small gestures, and just being present made a difference. Once she felt more confident, her interest in oral sex slowly returned.

Another thing I noticed was that timing and environment mattered a lot. When she was completely relaxed—like after a long weekend or during a vacation—she was much more receptive to experimenting. I started making intimacy less about “performing” and more about enjoying each other in the moment. It’s amazing how much mindset can change things.

If it’s a similar situation with your wife, I’d suggest focusing on her overall emotional well-being first. Sometimes, it’s not about the specific act but how connected and understood she feels. That connection can pave the way for rediscovering things she used to love.

[amravat123]

I think this is a more common issue than most people realize, especially in long-term relationships. My wife went through a similar change after she hit menopause. It turns out, hormonal shifts can significantly impact a woman’s physical sensitivity and even her desire for certain types of intimacy. For her, oral sex just didn’t feel the same anymore, and it wasn’t as pleasurable as it used to be.

We ended up speaking to a healthcare professional about it, and it opened my eyes to how complex female sexuality is. For her, a combination of hormone therapy and experimenting with lubricants made a big difference. She started enjoying oral sex again, but it took patience and a willingness to adapt on my part.

Another factor we considered was the technique. Over the years, what used to work perfectly for her wasn’t as effective anymore. We treated it as an opportunity to explore new ways to connect and bring her pleasure. It was almost like rediscovering each other all over again, which turned out to be really exciting for both of us.

The key takeaway for me was not to take it personally. It’s easy to feel rejected when your partner pulls away from something you both used to enjoy, but understanding that it’s likely about her changing needs can help you stay supportive and open.

[hanar123]

I think the biggest takeaway from your experience is that intimacy evolves over time. My wife went through a phase where oral sex was off the table too. At first, it frustrated me because I felt like I was losing a part of our connection. But when I stepped back and really listened to her, I realized that it wasn’t about me at all.

For us, the solution came from slowing things down and focusing on rebuilding trust in the bedroom. We started trying new things together—massages, role-playing, even just making out like we used to when we first dated. Over time, that playfulness and exploration naturally led back to oral sex, but it wasn’t something we forced.

One thing I found helpful was introducing novelty without pressure. For example, I’d surprise her with a romantic setting—candles, music, and soft sheets. When the atmosphere felt special and she was in the mood, she became more open to exploring things she had previously avoided. It taught me that context matters just as much as technique.

The bottom line is to focus on her comfort and let her set the pace. If oral sex comes back into the picture, great. If not, there are so many other ways to connect and keep the spark alive. Sometimes, taking the focus off the act itself allows it to return naturally.

[antonio123]

Hey, I can definitely relate to some extent. My wife and I have been married for 15 years, and while our sex life is still great overall, there have been phases where certain activities just didn’t appeal to her as much. When she started pulling back on receiving oral sex, I initially thought it was something I did wrong. After some open conversations, I realized it was more about her comfort and mindset than anything else.

She mentioned that hormonal changes in her body had affected how certain things felt, especially during her mid-40s. It wasn’t that she didn’t like oral sex anymore, but it just wasn’t as stimulating for her as it used to be. We found that using external stimulation, like a small vibrator during oral, made the experience more enjoyable for her. It was a simple adjustment, but it worked wonders.

I also learned that communication needs to be ongoing. Sometimes, just asking her what she wants or how she feels without judgment makes all the difference. I try to make it clear that my goal is her pleasure, whether that’s through oral sex or anything else she enjoys. That reassurance seemed to help her open up more about what she wants.

Ultimately, I think it’s about being flexible and willing to explore new things together. If oral isn’t her favorite anymore, there are so many other ways to connect and satisfy each other. It’s more about the journey together than any one specific act.

[piciossa]

Your story reminds me of something I went through with a previous partner. She went from loving oral sex to being completely indifferent about it. I realized that I had to approach the situation with curiosity instead of frustration. When I asked her about it in a calm and loving way, she explained that her tastes had simply changed, and oral didn’t excite her the way it used to.

Instead of pushing the issue, I asked her what she wanted to try instead. That conversation led to us exploring other ways of connecting, like using toys or focusing on full-body sensual massages. Those experiences actually brought us closer, and it shifted the focus from “fixing” her preferences to simply enjoying each other.

Over time, she started initiating oral sex again, but it was always on her terms. That made it feel more authentic and enjoyable for both of us. I think the key was creating a space where she didn’t feel judged or pressured to meet a certain expectation.

If I had any advice, it would be to lead with empathy and patience. Sometimes, people need time to reconnect with their desires, especially in long-term relationships. By showing her that you care about her needs above all else, you might find that her interest in oral sex naturally returns over time.